I have zero sympathy for anyone travelling to the World Cup when the inevitable crying begins about scalping prices, long queues, bad treatment, forged tickets, delays, police brutality et al. None whatsoever.

Fucking delighted if the goblin stays on at Parkheid. When we canter to the title I want him in the dugout greetin. Or better still, punted when we establish a twenty point lead by xmas.

Awesome to see Mercedes back on #AEWDynamite. Sadly it says everything about the company's booking of the women that the big return STILL happens in the usual mid-second-hour graveyard slot.

Delighted to see Arsenal fuck up the moneyleague final, until I remembered what evil cunts they were beaten by. Modern football sucks.

Probably get pelters for this, but I think there's a serious question about whether McInness will be at Tynie by the end of the season. Went all-in getting Wankland to stay last year & seemed very tentative using Jamestown signings. How will he utilise a fully JTA based squad? We shall see.

Summer dealings are going to be fucking mental. Love it.

Gaun the Hearts Women, league champions. Huge leap forward this season & a great farewell to Eva Olid. Hope it's the party of all parties tonight.

No hospitality job is worth playing toilet Gestapo. No pub that excludes a specific section of society has any right to call itself a pub. The pub is for everyone or it is for no one. Fuck the EHRC. Fuck Labour.

Great stuff, making it clear we're not going to walk away from this argument or let MON's bullshit just get waved off. The club seems to be getting serious about challenging at the top on a regular basis - and they know the playing field isn't level at the moment.

Calmly, eloquently but forcefully put, Max has been a total star here. Not to mention calling Pepsi Phil a cunt in another segment! He's making it awful hard for me to boo him at the ppv.

Was just about managing to get on with my day, and the SFA has to ruin things with that bootlicking bullshit of a statement. It's clear Bloom's 'ten year project' will mainly be about grinding down institutional corruption. Putting a team on the park's the easy bit.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if I wasn't into metal. Feeling sad & angry - but powered by Gojira I'm at least functioning.

Nothing like 86, which we had in the bag & threw it away. This was always touch & go. Beyond gutted, nonetheless - but we'll get here again.

Tldr - hi cheats, we're fuckin coming for ye.

Btw, our media relations team have to absolutely hammer every source to cover this penalty story. Shine the spotlight on the corrupt again & again - might gain a decision or two on Saturday, but the bigger picture has to be amplified regardless. Show Scottish football for the rigged game it is.

I knew there'd be one blatant act of cheating from the SFA if we were still there at the end of the season - but I thought we'd got it out the way with our penalty on Saturday. It's fucking staggering what these cunts think they can get away with.

No jacobin.com/2016/04/tax-...

The wee team absolutely not trying a leg out there today. So much for the professional approach - can see Celtic's goal diff getting a bit of a boost here.

Toni Storm's AEW run has been genius. Mercedes/Sasha has legit GOAT claims. But my personal favourite? Historically, Asuka, and right now, Jamie Hayter.

FU CKING HELL How many more weeks can I take of this?

The Trump playbook must be running low on ideas. Staging another assassination attempt so soon after Bob Roberts-ing the election smacks of desperation, and will surely be subject to the law of diminishing returns.

Recent city breaks have really shown up how beaten down Edinburgh is - especially city centre. York is vibrant, relaxed and encourages exploration - not least because of the lack of cars in the centre. Edinburgh remains choked by cars & chain stores. We need to get our finger out.

Been a while since yer boy's been unleashed on a breakfast buffet. Haven't lost my touch 🐷

Every so often a gig comes up where you have to buy tickets first & sort the logistics later. Yer boy's (somehow) going to see Judas Priest at the Hammersmith Apollo in September! #heavymetal

Thanks to the Hearts women for raising the spirits on a depressing day for the men's team. Top of the league!

Regardless of the red card, that last minute was absolutely appalling football from Hearts. Dying seconds & they poke the ball around, always looking for *someone else* to make the move. Gutless.

My Kennedys? Dead.

The Boy is reading LOTR and has just started pissing himself laughing. Turns out they're outside Moria & he misread Boromir saying 'I hate this foul pool' as 'I hate this foul poo'. Don't think I'll ever read that line correctly again.

Some absolute wombat has parked outside the shop with what appears to be the Queen's ghost trapped in their motor. I am confused.

I remember when CAMRA members were assumed to be pompous old white guys, out on the mooch for every freebie they could get. Going by tonight's encounter, things ain't changed a bit 😔

Yesterday my friend told me about her PHILOSOPHY students all using ai for their assignments and like come the fuck on man you’re in Uni doing the subject thats Thinking about Thinking and u refuse to Think

Reform politicians are happy to throw insults from a distance. But when it comes to debating their ideas? No show. Richard Tice pulled out. Farage won’t face me. Now their candidate in Gorton & Denton has ducked our candidate Hannah Spencer. Vote Green.

Forty years ago today, I saw my first Hearts game at Tynecastle. 8 years ago & wee for my age, I couldn't see a thing - but I loved it anyway. We skelped Dundee 3-1, including goals from my all-time heroes Colqhoun & Robertson, and I was hooked.

'Egg chasing' as a derogatory term has had its day, becoming trite through overuse. May I respectfully submit 'Toryball' as an alternative.

Throwing Ageu & Kerjota on with 45 seconds left on the clock is a fucking insult.

I'll take it. Sure we could have won, but with the injuries, that's still a pretty great result. Reckon it's time to start Kerjota & give Kyzi a rest. Let him get some extra finishing practice in.

A world cup boycott is essential. No sanewashing this insanity. Stay away and fuck up Fifa as well.

I've got myself a life coach - he's a smaller, inflatable coach in case my regular coach hits an iceberg.

Love how we've chosen a pic that makes Marc look like a right hard, angry bastard. Looks like he's been signed solely to punt McGregor in the nuts on Sunday.

Managed to snag a ticket for Tynecastle tonight - whoah, the place was rocking. Siege mentality has well & truly kicked in, but unlike Sunday we responded to the red by playing some of our best football of the season. Milne and Shankland ran themselves into the ground. Just hope Cammy's OK.

Craig Gordon, oh my word. Is that the best save I've ever seen?

Anyone blaming the ref if this goes wrong for Hearts, needs to give their head a wobble. We've been utter dogshit - route one football & looking scared stupid both on & off the ball. Pressure is showing on this team & it's up to McInness to get them performing again.

Fuck me, Dexter's just got to the bit in Thud! where Vimes blindly reads Where's My Cow? to young Sam even though he's miles away & underground. I managed to explain why this hits so hard when you're a parent - without bawling my eyes out! 😭😭😭

What I love about that Celtic result is not that I genuinely think we're winning the league - but that it does the wee team out of saying they cost us our place at the top. They'd have been *praying* Celtic got 6 from 6 before we next play 😂

He's only gone & wrapped all Rebecca's presents WITH A FULL DAY TO SPARE! 💪💪💪🎄🎄🎄

We'd better brace ourselves for the ref giving them EVERYTHING second half. You don't rattle the mafia this much without some serious pushback.

This game's starting to look like it's got 'late equaliser' written all over it. Get a second & put it to bed Hearts, please.

Wow. Two screens in a Morningside side pub devoted to EPL pish while an Edinburgh team is actually live on sky. Didn't want to drink in yer shitey boozer anyway.

A brilliant long read. It's easy to poke fun at the macho posturing element of 'Bazball', but this expertly breaks down the cultish nature of the McCullum/Stokes regime.

Only one beer will do for tree-decorating night 🎄🎅