Reform politicians are happy to throw insults from a distance. But when it comes to debating their ideas? No show. Richard Tice pulled out. Farage won’t face me. Now their candidate in Gorton & Denton has ducked our candidate Hannah Spencer. Vote Green.

Forty years ago today, I saw my first Hearts game at Tynecastle. 8 years ago & wee for my age, I couldn't see a thing - but I loved it anyway. We skelped Dundee 3-1, including goals from my all-time heroes Colqhoun & Robertson, and I was hooked.

'Egg chasing' as a derogatory term has had its day, becoming trite through overuse. May I respectfully submit 'Toryball' as an alternative.

Throwing Ageu & Kerjota on with 45 seconds left on the clock is a fucking insult.

I'll take it. Sure we could have won, but with the injuries, that's still a pretty great result. Reckon it's time to start Kerjota & give Kyzi a rest. Let him get some extra finishing practice in.

A world cup boycott is essential. No sanewashing this insanity. Stay away and fuck up Fifa as well.

I've got myself a life coach - he's a smaller, inflatable coach in case my regular coach hits an iceberg.

Love how we've chosen a pic that makes Marc look like a right hard, angry bastard. Looks like he's been signed solely to punt McGregor in the nuts on Sunday.

Managed to snag a ticket for Tynecastle tonight - whoah, the place was rocking. Siege mentality has well & truly kicked in, but unlike Sunday we responded to the red by playing some of our best football of the season. Milne and Shankland ran themselves into the ground. Just hope Cammy's OK.

Craig Gordon, oh my word. Is that the best save I've ever seen?

Anyone blaming the ref if this goes wrong for Hearts, needs to give their head a wobble. We've been utter dogshit - route one football & looking scared stupid both on & off the ball. Pressure is showing on this team & it's up to McInness to get them performing again.

Fuck me, Dexter's just got to the bit in Thud! where Vimes blindly reads Where's My Cow? to young Sam even though he's miles away & underground. I managed to explain why this hits so hard when you're a parent - without bawling my eyes out! 😭😭😭

What I love about that Celtic result is not that I genuinely think we're winning the league - but that it does the wee team out of saying they cost us our place at the top. They'd have been *praying* Celtic got 6 from 6 before we next play 😂

He's only gone & wrapped all Rebecca's presents WITH A FULL DAY TO SPARE! 💪💪💪🎄🎄🎄

We'd better brace ourselves for the ref giving them EVERYTHING second half. You don't rattle the mafia this much without some serious pushback.

This game's starting to look like it's got 'late equaliser' written all over it. Get a second & put it to bed Hearts, please.

Wow. Two screens in a Morningside side pub devoted to EPL pish while an Edinburgh team is actually live on sky. Didn't want to drink in yer shitey boozer anyway.

A brilliant long read. It's easy to poke fun at the macho posturing element of 'Bazball', but this expertly breaks down the cultish nature of the McCullum/Stokes regime.

Only one beer will do for tree-decorating night 🎄🎅

Good value for the lead I reckon 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@phlaimeaux.bsky.social hope someone at Taskmaster asked your blessing before ripping off 'FAQ for the D O'D' during the intro tonight?!

Mystery Wrestling is too dumb to be AI. Support human beings at MysteryWrestling.con

A (perhaps rare) positive of being middle-aged is going to gigs solo. Sam in his 30s would have been cripplingly self-conscious - Sam in his late 40s does not give a fuck. Paradise Lost in Glasgow tonight. Love it.

Really enjoying the Riyadh Comedy Festival, guys. Don’t know why it’s getting so much bad press. The audiences are loving it. Absolutely laughing their heads on.

A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs": Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

The wee man chose the game against the Hibs community team to open his account for the season. Two goals in five minutes. What a way to spend a Sunday morning 😁

Gobsmacked by that result - but have always wanted to see Stat get a run with the belt. Hope she crushes it #AEWAllout

Hard to conjure up the storyline rage at the end of that coffin match - Pac is a huuuge favourite & it's great to see him back #AEWAllout

Okada/Takeshita/Dorada MOTN so far for me. Dorada shines & Kazu-Take chemistry off the frickin chart #AEWAllout

Dinner looking autumnal as fuck. (that's a duck leg under all the wine & mushrooms btw)🍂

Make a band singular: A Stroke

Great turnout of nearly 5000 fans at Tynecastle today for the #capitalcup women's derby. Hearts were good for their 2-0 win having won the physical battle and rounding things off with a great strike from Jess Husband. Natural order indeed.

Been re-discovering a lot of Killing Joke stuff recently. Seminal bangers.

I think at this point I actually hate Starmer as much as I hated Johnson & Thatcher.

Bored oot ma nut watching top-flight fitba from Scotland & England today. Thankfully I also got to watch North Merchiston 2014s, who covered every blade of astro in getting past Bonyrigg 3-1 this morning. That's the good stuff.

One of the worst Glasgow derbies I've ever seen. Celtic not remotely at the races, Rangers showed fight but had absolutely no quality. Both teams lucky to get a point 🤣

Please tell me the following line from McInness on the beeb website is a misquote: 'We set up to nullify Livingston's threat'. WE ARE HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN YOU TIT. How about setting up to impose our *own* threat?

Bollocks to the coefficient. Nae champs league for the ugly sisters is good news for every other team in the league. And it's FUNNY.

No spoilers, but tonight's #aew Dynamite in Glasgow was a really great time. Of course, having Dex to keep me company was the best part.

Snax Cafe

I'm making a TV series about the different parts of my gas cooker - I've already filmed the pilot.

A win's a win, but it was hardly a joy to watch against a pretty dire Aberdeen side. Particularly disappointed that none of our forward players could get on the scoresheet. Also, if we're going to play 3 at the back, we need better than Spittal to provide the creativity in midfield.

Can't believe I had to miss the last half hour of the test to open up my stoopid shop 😡. A fitting end to a magnificent series - England fans won't want to hear this, but the draw was absolutely the right result overall. Test cricket at its chaotic, nerve-shredding finest.

Chatting with a friend in hospitality, who's been taking abuse for not doing a cover shift offered at a few hours' notice. Same kind of shitty practice that was going on fifteen years ago when I was cheffing - can't see the industry fixing its chronic skills shortage any time soon.

Absolutely heroic effort by the Indian batters. This series continues to showcase test cricket in all its glorious variety - glad there's something to play for in the final test.

Hogan: 'I'm the babyface here, I think I should go over' Death: 'That's not gonna work for me, brother'.

Walking home from Tynie repeating to myself 'It's only Dumbarton, don't get too excited, it's only Dumbarton, DON'T GET TOO EXCITED'.

Ozzy's death hits pretty hard. At a time where my love of metal is going thru quite a resurgence, losing one of the founding fathers is tough to take. Rest in chaos you absolute madman.

It’s utterly pathetic that Hearts aren’t engaging with this site anymore. Shame that you have to be a fascist to get decent online Hearts content.

PRO WRESTLING IS BETTER THAN THE THINGS YOU LIKE