If people are sickened by my pointless and poindextrous thread with various SPFL league eventualities. All I’ll say, in summary, is that unless the arse falls out of our form OR we win every game we play. High chance this goes to the last day of the season.

Not looked into the details on this but willing to support it it’s based on jailing red trouser wearing guys who like rugby and vote Tory

Anyone want to see a bunch of speculative ways the league could play out? No. Here they are anyway One where we win:

Interested in this amazing movie poster book? Why not click on "notify" for updates? www.kickstarter.com/projects/dav...

If McInnes moves on in the next year or so, I hope JTA have their eyes on Titz. He’s doing a good job at Hannover 96 and links with Hearts legend Daniel ‘diamond’ Stendel. de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christi...

It’s a shame that Joey Barton will be in jail until his trial in September.

As a hypothetical, if Beni is last man, standing 10 yards from an open goal, and gets scythed down by a defender - is it a clear goal-scoring opportunity?

Just seen the Leonard red card back for the first time. 😂 What a mess the SFA have got in. SPFL Premiership must be the best league in the world - if players can create goal scoring opportunities from their own half!

What would you prefer - switching the Motherwell or Falkirk game to be at Tynecastle? I think I’d rather play at Fir Park, on the grass, in front of a big away support.

Frankly, this is the only type of league-winning season that I’m capable of enjoying (done and dusted with 5 to play). Fair play to these people, many of whom have to live in Lincolnshire.

Art Thief Leaves Behind Tacky Jeff Koons Piece

I take it there is a fairly high chance that the first round after the split will be: Hibs - Hearts Celtic - Rangers Falkirk - Motherwell To ensure the more incendiary fixtures don’t settle anything.

Bravo to the boffins at Apple who have taken the search function in the email app to an advanced level of shitty. Before it would find what I was looking for ~25% of the time but with new updates, that’s taken a firm plunge to around the zero mark. Still, thanks for the AI stuff I don’t need.

3 home games - 3 away games 1 point advantage I’d rather be where we are than where Rangers and Celtic are. And I don’t just mean Edinburgh.

Shall we add next week’s 3 points to the league table for Celtic and forego the charade of that game being played? What purpose does it serve?

GORGIE RULES APPLY.

Once again pointing out that "Gorgie Rules" is not a statement of supremacy. It's a reminder that Gorgie has a set of rules, a set of standards, that must always, ALWAYS apply. And they do.

It’s hard to avoid being emotionally incontinent and raging as we see this title chance slide away. That said, we had no right to be up there - the players and manager have been phenomenal. Just wish he’d play the best players in their best positions. Some inexplicable stuff recently

Mind when everyone enthused about the classy midfield play of Snodgrass? Yet when teams sussed him out he utterly slowed the game down to the point of pain. Leonard is like that except without the glittering career in his locker.

Leonard being suspended strengthens the team for next week

Snowing in Edinburgh in April. So much for supposed global warming Sheeple

NEW Stewart Lee column on Farage being a bad loser. "Maybe it’s time for Laura Kuenssberg and Nick Ferrari, and the phalanxes of Farage’s other supine news media enablers, to start calling him out" 🔗☟☟

This must be a tough one for Americans to answer since 90% of American cities are hellscapes impenetrable to anyone who doesn’t have a car. And if you do, just an endless repetitive sequence of the same shitty restaurants and shops.

Hi Hearts, Don’t make a cunt of it tomorrow. Thanks

The good news is that Marvin Bartley is going to be distracted tomorrow

Celtic dropping points tomorrow could lead to the dream scenario where they end up wanting to let us beat them and face Rangers at Celtic Park with the sole purpose of denying them the title. Suppose we also have to win.

Oburdeen Steamun’ doon

The lack of respect this guy got from the Hearts support is truly astounding. As a 35 year old rookie manager, built a team that annihilated Rangers, Hibs and the rest of the diddy league. Then achieved consistently, every season he managed the club. A legend. youtu.be/mEGN7yLRtuQ?...

The Emperor of Hearts fans on Scarves Around the Funnel: “If Barrie McKay scores he’ll come and celebrate in front of me” Pal, he’s got no fucking idea who you are.

The season ticket video is decent but, fuck sake, referring to the club as the ‘watery farts’ 🤦

Computers are so slow in the NHS, I’m surprised some of them aren’t beige

Woke moon mission tbf

Moving international matches to England’s Glasgow. 🤔

Waiting for my coffee and there’s someone studiously reading a newspaper column by Nadine fucking Dorries. What’s wrong with people?

Q: “Why do you love Scottish football?” A:

Can’t even have Spurs appoint Jermain Defoe as their interim manager. Because of Woking.

Another take on my sad-sack projection project. If you take our average results for Livi away, Motherwell home, Rangers home, Celtic away, Hibs away, Motherwell away and Falkirk home Over the past few seasons (or this season for Livi and Falkirk) - that would be 12 points. So 78 at the end.

One of the under-valued things about a potential league win: Getting a trophy without having to go to fucking Hampden

The upside of this (claiming the UK is an Islamist country under Sharia law) is that it must be putting thick cunts off coming to visit the UK.

Great Stewart Lee content: youtu.be/ReqrJouPdvU?...

So many of the people I follow on here focus so much time on hating the English, they completely forget about the wee nation beside it that worships rugby and is largely populated by utter oddballs

🚨Going live in 30 mins🚨 @craigcairns.bsky.social and Scott McIntosh try to determine what Hearts' best team is when everyone is fit📺 www.youtube.com/watch?v=duIe...

Gattuso’s a fat wee fuck these days

I know you’re a Self Esteem fan @davidbastin12.bsky.social and if you’re a Harry Hill fan this will be right up your street. If not, maybe not. youtu.be/UGxQRALeSC0?...

Steve Hilton might be the next Governor of California Where the fuck did that come from? What a world

Thinking about this, I don’t think I thought we’d win the league in 1998. I think I did after the first few months of 2005/2006 season but done by January. Some great wins this season especially against the Old Firm. But so stressful now! Easter Road could be pivotal…

🎙️Anthony Brown joins @craigcairns.bsky.social to compare the current Hearts team with the Scottish Cup winners of 1998 Can Derek McInnes' side go all the way and what is the crucial difference between his side and that of Jim Jefferies? www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tf6...

We’ve won as many games already this season as we did in 1985/86. Albeit a 36 game season. Having a wee masochistic read of one of my old favourites:

Hard for a club inextricably linked with Ed Sheeran to exceed that cringe factor but, fair play, they’ve done it. Racist toad 🤝 Portman Road