There’s an innocent explanation for the ‘inappropriate friends’ request

In Government U-turn to help rich Tory voters

RKC Waalwijk have an eye for a player

Wee Hearts angle on the death of Chris Rea. How could Stampy have known that just a few years after appearing in the ‘Let’s Dance’ video with Bob Mortimer and an FA Cup final - that his career would end peak in another Hearts victory at Easter Road.

Maybe I’m going soft but just watched this (the Hearts bit mainly) and I like Michael Stewart these days. Amazing how Hearts being good brings us all* together. All the best for his wedding tomorrow. www.youtube.com/live/qx63llT... *except that oddball DJ Cameron - Hearts man my arse

We’re down with my wife’s extended family, in England, for Christmas. A suggestion has been made to watch ‘Love Actually’ I’ve made the case: most cynical, amoral, abysmal thing ever created by humans. The foremost argument for nuclear holocaust. The outcome: I’m sitting alone drinking beer.

Hey @rajworks.bsky.social - I see you’re still fannying about on X. It’s not worth it pal. You’re getting 5 or 6 lobotomy victims liking your posts. Get that to fuck and commit to BlueSky with @everybodylovesij.bsky.social ‘s 10%

The atmosphere at Tynecastle was OK on Sunday but it wasn’t great considering where we are and the magnitude of that result. I think it’s anxiety and lack of experience from us, as fans, dealing with a title challenge. Super weird seeing people leave in droves before the final whistle

Seems to be topical at a he moment. But what is the most barry vice? I’d say beer.

Weird photo from my reel in 2007. Hope justeice was done.

This is fantastic writing. So good, I think folk that don't even give a fuck about Hearts or even football would enjoy it. The Cammy Devlin paragraph is sensational. "Gorgie was louder than war". Incredible.

The old boys won’t like this but Shankland is objectively a better Hearts striker than Robbo.

Multiple sources confirm - we’re still the best team in Scotland

SFA CHEATING UPDATE Hearts (211), Rangers (207) and Celtic (206) have an almost indistinguishable number of fouls conceded this season. Hearts have 41 yellow cards Rangers have 34 yellow cards Celtic have 28 yellow cards So 5 fouls per card for us, 6 for Rangers and 7 for Celtic

Doesn’t matter how much ‘hair’ you have pal. You’re a baldy. Baldy. Baldy. Baldy.

Boyle’s barnet is what happens if you type ‘please give me hair again’ into Chat GPT. Fuck knows how that manifested in the physical world. Presumably bought a 3D printer on Amazon.

With JimmyTown and JimmyAndo, I wonder if a provincial club will ever win the Scottish Premiership again?

ALL day.

I’ve found Findlay far from convincing over the past 2 months but fair play to the lad - great performance and great goal. He shouldn’t lose any sleep over what a halfwit like me thinks!

Nothing can staunch the flow of tears “Rangers” are fucking shite Get it right up that oddball club and all the Neanderthal pricks that support them

Look these lads may seem upset, but as provincial hillbillies they'll have tales to tell from their trip to the Capital that their huddled cave families won't believe. "Inside toilets" they'll confidently assert to their awed mouthbreathing tribes

People who say they’re confident we’d win before the 92nd minute today have obviously never seen what the SFA are capable of when their beloved Old Firm are in town. Beating Celtic, Rangers and the Cunts at Hampden to the league title would be a miraculous achievement.

ORANGE SQUASHED There’s your headline

I always chuckle when Sky or whoever does a wee Edinburgh derby segment, they have to show every single goal Hibs have ever scored against us just to match 1% of those that we've papped past them

Piece of piss. Away and cry into your tea towels you bunch of fucks.

All very well beating Celtic, but Hearts proving they can take care of those niggly mid-table sides too

If Rangers are struggling, they’ve always got the option to get McCart off the bench

My kids are telling me that Rick Astley was a ‘one hit wonder’ I must have imagined ‘Together Forever’, ‘She wants to dance with me’ and ‘Whenever you need somebody’ Daft bastards. What do they teach them in school these days.

True post

He’s one of history’s biggest cunts. And a fucking halfwit to boot.

I hope whoever the next US President is, redoes the portraits and plaques like this.

Uncle Clev was a great guy. Mad that someone associated with that period in our history and, truth be told, a fairly average player is held in such high regard. Attitude and effort will get you a long way with the Hearts support

Does this mean he’s dead?

FT defends London, one of the greatest cities in the world www.ft.com/content/dd79...

Who will write all the books if the publishers drop all the shite comedians and TV presenters?

Sounds like my kind of place

This seemed utterly unimpressive until I saw the pies are 12m in diameter. An astounding meaty feat.

An actual thing on the Celtic website

I am currently in possession of a couple of cardboard packagings big enough to fit a Lost Films of Hollywood calendar in so if you missed out and would like one, let me know asap and I can send you for £20 plus £2 p&p DM me or reply here

Laugh My Fucking Arse Off

The perfect news story for @everybodylovesij.bsky.social A raccoon that broke into a liquor store and then ended up unconscious on the toilet floor

Love Craig. He must have the patience of a saint to sit across from that gobshite Cameron. Would love to hear all he had to say but can’t stomach that vacuous bellend

Surely - in one of the many iterations of the handball rule, over the past decade, that WOULD have been 100% a penalty? Not that I’m telling a consummate pro like Madden his job

Elon's little serfs are quite literally begging journalists to come back because every publicly available source of data shows people have fled the platform and young people won't use it. They are literally begging regular people to come back. Don't do it! It is a website by and for actual Nazis!

“The shitshow” Joint top of the league if they win their games in hand Entitled cunts

Would you expect Jim Goodwin to be sacked on Wednesday if Dundee United fail to win against Celtic?