i wish there was some magic potion that could remove all ailments for at least 30 days. why do colds exist. this sucks.

real thc (tasty hot chocolate) hours

what if i dont wanna call it a hunch? what if i wanna call it bob?

i wish there was some magic potion that could remove all ailments for at least 30 days. why do colds exist. this sucks.

All things considered, squeaky clean!

@profanity.accountant surely its not that bad. . . . right?

Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/

hey so like where the fUCK am i?

The odds of being attacked by a stoat while rock climbing is low, but never zero.

that didnt take long at all

listening to french music until i tolerate the french will report back stay tuned

Report: Americans Most Physically Active When Getting Comfy https://theonion.com/report-americans-most-physically-active-when-getting-c-1819579560/

bestseller this year i hear

I'm totally chill and normal, why do you ask?

PARANORMAL DETOUR ANNOUNCEMENT This Wednesday (the 29th) at 5pm pst I will be live from inside a HAUNTED MUSEUM with my friend @nyybeats.bsky.social ! But this time TWITCH IS BACKING US AND WE WILL BE HEADLINING FRIGHT FEST ON THE TWITCH MAIN CHANNEL ALONGSIDE MY OWN! 5pm PST. MARK CALENDAR

Thinking about one of my favourite tumblr posts of all time

Fancy Man Enjoys Tea https://theonion.com/fancy-man-enjoys-tea-1819569438/

Also if you wanna support my GoFundMe: gofund.me/a73302dcc

Nation’s Nutritionists Confirm Mini Versions Of Food Nummier https://theonion.com/nation-s-nutritionists-confirm-mini-versions-of-food-nu-1819580287/

holding a chonky boy

its like

it's dangerous to go alone, take this

shoutout to amtrak for letting me get a new ticket for only $11 when i missed my train this morning*

Paul McCartney Now Openly Referring To Self As ‘Last-Living Beatle’

and they were roommates

Oshawott has a sword

Stoat Fact: the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise contains many animals, including hedgehogs, echidnas, foxes, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, cats, bats, badgers and whatever the fuck Fang the Sniper is. but no stoats. this is widely considered to be Sega's biggest failing as a company.

F1 races should have proximity voice chat

the united kingdom promotes sh it for your company

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan https://theonion.com/fritolaysia-cuts-off-chiplomatic-relations-with-snakist-1819568143/

i love when my screen protector stops the fingerprint sensor functionally locking me out of every account i've ever made :)