The 15 year old called my wife from the driving range. “Yo ma can you round up my checking account to $24 so I can get another bucket of balls?” He had $1.10.

I don’t care how it’s cooked I’m not trying raccoon dick.

Now we’re torturing our own military with shitty music

Said goodbye to this sweet girl today. Bella was the best dog I’ve ever had. She let kids lay on her. She taught puppies how to be dogs. She danced for her food, even when the arthritis said she couldn’t. Gonna miss the sound of her paws following me. She’s not hurting anymore, but we sure are.

this incident, which was totally above board and not what it looks like, has made me realize that i need to step away from football and focus on my family, but only after Rounds 2 and 3 of the NFL Draft got it

Didn’t know wake apnea was a thing

Been dealing with hip pain that has progressed to a limp. Went to the orthopedic surgeon who fixed my shoulder and I have advanced osteoarthritis in my right hip. Gonna have a replacement eventually. Left hip is arthritic too as an added bonus. I’m 45 and it’s time for a colonoscopy. The fuck.

Did Paula White marry Jonathan Cain for his last name?

Tune in tomorrow Thursday 4/16 at 7 pm CDT for a HAD call for longer flash. Only 100 spots available so you gotta be quick! -Hannah Smart

Has anyone tried hitting him with a hammer?

They fucked up my whopper so I screamed the King is weak on crime

At least it was a biblically accurate fighter jet

Fever House ebook is $1.99 eeeeverywhere today! It’s my birthday, so hey, help me help you or something.

Hungarian Super PAC called Orban Donors

Was just informed by a guy at work that Trump is playing 3D chess while everyone else is playing checkers

Lord of the Fries has anyone said that yet?

Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz

Me to the IPA my friend bought me

Over on Threads the new thing is a comment on a post where they say “Broke my dick getting to the comments and they did not disappoint” or some shit like that. Also they’ve revived the that’s a follow reply. Counting the days till Elon makes a bid the way it’s going.

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

Press secretary Karoline Leavitt had this photo scrubbed from Getty. She is the one in the middle.

But the March issue - still up! - has a few bangers of its own. Including my story about trying to find purpose - or at least a reason not to stop caring - when living beneath the cosmic horror of The Idiot. www.nightmare-magazine.com/fiction/will...

It's released!! I want to thank the editing powers and help of Marissa van Uden at Violet Lichen, and the great support of folks at @apexmag.bsky.social (Nichole, Ori, Jason, and more)! Thanks for taking this journey with me! And thanks to Jack Hillside and Mikio Murakami for the beautiful cover!

My newest story is up at @nightmare-magazine.com today! If you want a novelette about a small town dog catcher just trying to live under the shadow of a cosmic horror, you might like it! www.nightmare-magazine.com/fiction/will...

Rick Pitino with a 30 second timeout and everyone gets the joke

Grinding bones to make bread? In this economy?

RFK Jr’s great great great grandson calling for face-hugger parties in the year 2122 to build herd immunity

Oh hell yeah

Harris accused Altman of being the “Goebbels of the Trump administration.” But on Tuesday, Harris said by email: “It was late and I had a few too many martinis so I misspoke when I said Goebbels… I should’ve said Friedrich Flick.”

Death and always owing the state of North Carolina on your taxes

I watched Bone Tomahawk for the first time last night, then went to sleep. I rarely remember my dreams and last night was no different, but I did wake up grinding my teeth. That last 30 minutes was something else. I knew it was brutal but it was so in your face with no pause or build up.

Way off topic but his dad’s name is Michael A Jordan

It’s pub day!! She makes good company www.rockandahardplacemag.com/womans-guide...

BUY BACKMASK KSAMKCAB YUB

Donkey and Tiger

if you brought back grant and sherman today it would take them about 4 hours to dismantle our current military command structure (grant would drink hegseth into a coma, Sherman would spend most of that time shrieking in horror at the existence of airplanes)

Bill O’Reilly looks like his next book will be about him

Thanks to you all, we've received nearly 7 THOUSAND entries into our CELLAR BELOW THE CELLAR Storygraph giveaway! Thank you so much for your support! 📚🌌 Entries to win a free print or digital copy of @ivygrimes.bsky.social's cozy horror novella are open until March 18th! Go check it out 🌟⏰

GETTING IT RIGHT: Balance telling stories that honor the truth while still being entertaining as hell. A 5-week online course with @nkolakowski.bsky.social on avoiding info-dumps and making your writing shine. Class starts March 15th, sign up today:

Reading World War Z and Devolution back to back is BrooksMaxxing

Finally got a stand up desk so I’m watching moonwalk tutorials on YouTube

Made it to Friday but at what cost

ME: pack a bag, we’re flying to kansas MY WAYWARD SON: what kind of bag

You can livestream Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit live from Minneapolis on the Current. Free. If you’ve never, you’re in for a treat. If you have, you already know.

Markwayne Mullin testifying in front of Congress that the shitter was full