Finally watched the whole match and can pick up my phone. No spoilers here

Nice of Bruno to miss that pen on purpose to put other teams off signing him. Smart plan from our captain. #nufc

If the USA don't win the World Cup, Trump will probably declare war on FIFA.

So presumably if the USA don't win the tournament there'll be another whiney phone call from the White House... Nothing to see here

Holy shit, #nufc are working weekends! (Toure announced!)

Whatever happened to those colour changing t shirts from the 90s?

Unfortunately he'll just refuse to answer the one question he gets asked about it and the media will move on, while Reform supporters just claim it's fake news or whatever.

Booking.com get the "award" for the first TV advert I've seen with a disclaimer about AI imagery being used to make it. So, booking.com can fuck off. Like, do you seriously not earn enough to be able to pay *people* to do things? I hope they go into administration.

Why does everything need to be done quicker? Why can't we take our time?

Ngl, I'm a bit disappointed they're moving the kickoff time for #MEXENG. I like a challenge...

"Yeah, this song is definitely nearly done. Can't wait to release it. Also, here are over one thousand words of notes of changes I'd like you to make."

The Sunday of the VisitMalta Weekender just so happens to also be my wedding anniversary. Perfect timing really. #nufc

Agreement reached for Toure apparently. Young, hungry (and good) players coming in on lower wages hopefully, free up some salary for the captain... Just wishful thinking out loud #nufc

Premier League football has just about eaten itself. Give it a couple more seasons and it'll be so non-competitive that no one will bother (or be able to afford it anyway)

Keeper's playing a blinder.

These England players need to get out of their entitled little huffs and actually play football. DR Congo looking loads better.

Oh, England.

I don't know what you're talking about, there was nothing remotely weird about the deal for Odysseas Vlachodimos #nufc

Tonight, I'm trying to find a sweet spot between: Nirvana - Something in the Way Prefab Sprout - Bonny Coldplay - Don't Panic

Nice fine for #nufc from UEFA... Their commitment to an even playing field knows no end...

If solar panels and windmills generated oil instead of electricity you'd see them in every possible available space, with no expense spared to get them there.

Happy for Paraguay. Gutted for Big Nick and Thiaw. #nufc

I guess the *real* King of Queens was the friends we made along the way.

Now Playing On untidyradio.com American Wrestling by They only come around when the lights are low! https://americanwrestlingmusic.bandcamp.com/album/they-only-come-around-when-the-lights-are-low Follow

What they taught in school: GDP up = good. What they left out: The atmosphere has a limit Soil can die Water runs out 8 billion people need a living planet, not just a growing economy

I swear the days with nothing in my diary are 100000x busier than the full ones.

Two things I couldn't stop thinking about during the match: 1) Animaniacs 2) the time that Andy Carroll was made to move in with Kevin Nolan because he kept misbehaving

Wait, are Panama wearing an old Bolton Wanderers kit?

Ngl, I keep finding myself supporting Panama...

Good to see the next leader of Reform, John Terry, at the England match.

I'm definitely a pacifist but I don't understand how Pickford doesn't get punched more often...

"Alright, alright. You've had a bit of fun, bit of a good time, but it's getting a bit silly. Now we're taking your best players and you can go back in your little boxes."

I want to go wherever all the old metro trains have gone and just chill.

The #nufc often doesn't work for me atm, and I am a-ok with that.

Plant some trees you dickheads!

Last time* we had a friendly against Gateshead (A) was the Steve McClaren season. That went well... #nufc

Hosepipes = 👎 Data centres = 👍

"We're not going to do anything to stop the apocalypse because that would be woke."

If only dedicated scientists had published 1000s of papers in respected, peer-reviewed journals that warned us that anthropogenic carbon was increasing the likelihood of killer heating like this!

A poem about bees: Bees are my BFFs But, gee, the Bee Gees were good.

"Hey Google, please define 'irony'?" Google:

I didn't watch the match but I've just seen two police cars go past. Was it that bad?

#nufc strip looks loads better with the sponsor on (still not buying it mind)

At this point I'm not convinced *any*one knows what a socialist is.

I've seen Chelsea managers have longer stints than some of these post-brexit prime ministers

Prepare for the grifters to start demanding a general election

I don't have any patience for the "but we're poor" argument for bands using AI for posters and publicity. Try to think back to roughly 3 years ago when you somehow coped without it.