this is america. you could find yourself within 100yds of a shooting at any time, in any place. school, the grocery store, a movie theater, a block party, a public park… it happens to regular people every day. but this week we’ll get 50+ weepy op-eds because it happened to the guys who write op-eds

Sometimes after going to bed I feel kind of nauseous for no discernable reason, so I get up and fix myself something particularly salty to eat and it helps a lot. My stomach feels a lot better.

I'm just a girl staring at all potential shooters asking for just one of you to be a decent shot

"I'M THE SHERIFF, BUT YOU CAN KILL WHOEVER YOU WANT TO."

They're doing the detransition thing but with autism now.

I've been having the worst dreams all week 😔 it sucks!

You want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooong tail ✨

Megan's tattoo is in the itchy phase of the healing process and that means that sometimes I hear her skippitypaping her own arm across the house so as to avoid scratching.

Haircut 😌✨

I don't love this one, but I wanted a little color complete practice. I'm pretty bad about scrapping art I don't *love* and that means that I don't practice just getting artwork out and being fine with the result.

I'm starting to think that, when Megan and I get a cat again, we should get the cat a baby bouncer.

I can do what I want!!!

Prominent hair tuft and a tooth earring? Caveman muppet chic ✨

you are now entering the 🌀unlimited nap zone 🌀

Clefable! I would love to have this turned into a sticker where only the wings are holographic 💖🥰

Carnivine!

When you're all done prepping food and the edible finally kicks in 😌💯

More tattoo! Continued shoutout to my artist Adam Miller at Not Occult Tattoo www.instagram.com/adammillerta...

Sometimes Megan's burps are so cartoonishly loud and long that it alters the pressure of my spinal fluid if I'm in the vicinity, and then afterwards she's always like omg teehee 🤭

SWEATING MAKE IT STOP

Sometimes a salad just straight up fucks. My go-to salad right now is a Cesar dressing with lettuce, lemon, shaved parm, croutons and steak, and JESUS, I fuck that salad up each time.

My home? Oh, you mean my subterranean gargoyle spawn point!

Strollin’

I lost an earring, so while I wait for a replacement to get here, I get to wear a single coyote tooth earring like some kind of asshole.

The candied pineapple has ensorcelled me yet again

I do not want to create an account or open a subscription I just want to buy a thing and never hear from you again why is this so hard.

because suzanne collins is catholic and the one of the core themes of the series is a critique of self-reliant survivalism. community is everything. you can be a hunter alone, but bread REQUIRES community: farmer, miller... baker. also gale killed her little sister lol.

All of the fun things I've had planned for the year are now over, so now it's back to suffering.

Me: If [the lady that's running the mallet along the giant gong] hits it at full force, we're gonna hit mach 1! 😥 Megan, who desperately wanted the lady to hit the giant gong at full force: Well then that's just what happens! 😤

No, that's exactly what Chappelle was doing and it's why trans people criticized him for doing it.

i need your help to relocate. the state that i currently live in is about to become effectively unliveable for me. the new law opens up the possibility of being disappeared by ICE. i am trying to get myself and, if there is a miracle, my family to safety. please share. gofund.me/90740e4db

Quote your Bible at me all you want, it’s no match for my grimoire of complaints and excuses.

So once again a man started a wildly successful harassment campaign against a female celebrity who didn’t actually do anything and the internet swallowed it full throated, and the whole thing is revealed to be concocted horseshit he can’t muster anything more than “sorry that happened I guess”

Okay. It's dealership day.

This is honestly what it feels like watching the US/Iran news on a daily basis.

The Domino's app shows you the name of the person working on your order. Back before we moved, there was an employee named "Kennybabes", and we'd cheer when we saw their name because they always did such a great job, and had such a memorable name.

Me: And this guy's medical chart had the notes "risky homosexual behavior" and "obese." Megan: He really got diagnosed as a fat slut, huh?

You know what, yes, it DOES bother me that my TBM mother and the women of the FLDS cult wear their hair in identical styles!!!

Happy birthday to us! 🥰✨ @tenercomics.bsky.social

just popping on here to remind everyone that being married is cool as fuck and if you don't like your partner you're doing it wrong

You gotta fight for your right to sit quietly doing nothing

I'm 37 years old today! 🎉✨

THE SECOND TOWER???

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me about the open vs. closed status of mine and Megan's marriage, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice. (Both times I was asked occurred within the span of a week.)

I'm very glad I don't have what it takes to be a lawyer, I would be the worst lawyer ever. "Your honor, the defendant can suck my fucking balls, his ass is guilty as shit. I rest my case." Terrible.

Cat in the Summer Meadow, Bruno Liljefors (1860-1939).

Now remember, when it happens, don't let your guard down - don't get pregnant.