I know I could make a beverage better than Pepsi... but I'm really committed to calling it "yum yum gulp beverage, a christian liquid"; my peepaw asked me to do so in a legally binding will

I don't know if this is better or worse; gonna stick to rickshaws for now

Need an ontological ranking of all kinds of "slop" French resources welcome, German discouraged

The greek goddesses would NOT have annihilated me. I am good at creaming butter and have a "knowing side eye". The gods, however? Good question. Hephaestus is mad at me because I never returned his tongs, but he won't respond in the Lads Chat. We both still use the time share, though :)

A tender good night to all except for Kant scholars and/or skim milk drinkers

If my "irony factory" makes me rich, I'd love to retire early and write a 4 vol phenomenology of human behaviour during curling

Inventing a 4th Brönte sister: Dudley. Access her first novel, PUPPY CHOW MEIN: A CONSIDERING, exclusively with Brönte Battle Pass

If I made a credit card for mutuals, what sort of perks/bonuses would you want? • Boat-delivered prime rib? • Soviet-approved romance tips? • Dangling chads? • "Misery Paste"? • Your money going to me to help invent "dog 2" (like a dog, but better and new) Enter the exotic world of forord finance

starting a Lenten group chat for meditations on the noble, dignified, English shire horse

‪Speaking of Super Bowl performances... The Weeknd looks different than I remembered

If it were still the 80s, there'd be a broadcast TV game show where contestants guess if a very funny poaster is i) merely great at the craft but a lil' too online or ii) severely mentally unwell

To distinguish user bases and celebrate cultural diversity, I think all Apple notifications should play a full volume Howie Scream, and all Android notifications a Wilhelm Scream :)

Guy on first date who can't remember if blood diamonds or blood sugar is the one you're supposed to have none of

favorite album cover of all time

Gathering a small group of lads and the lad-adjacent to undertake a CLOSE READING of carefully selected classic tweets. I am thinking of calling it "Traditional Fineposts II: From Dril to Stancil"

Though it's true "no man is an island", this is a convincing alternative

Absolutely not

Whenever I get that "I /really/ need to work on my French" itch, nothing soothes like opening my Sanskrit textbook for no reason

Sickening that the stereotype of Canadians enjoying milk and milk based products still exists (they now use a sort of fragrance spray), but HERE WE ARE, fam

Smoked a clove cigarette for the first time in 15 years and I immediately came up with the concept of a "Trump Family Kart Racer"

Happy #Lawyercat Anniversary for all who celebrate! It's been four years since the kitten appeared in my Zoom courtroom, and I released the 48 second video that made the whole world laugh. Here is the full video showing the big reveal at the end (in two parts because Blue sky). Enjoy!

*Centrist voice* it is okay that the bad bunny played "musica" to the world... but the question is, "did he KNOW there was a political context" in the musica?

Anyone have an excel sheet (grape, sans serif fonts, please) that lists which CLASSIC Pokemon* are "empaths"? *pronounced with thick French accent

Every college freshman after completing one (1) modern language course

I was hoping for a 80 baseball/10 fedora/10 pork portfolio... damn

People say the hardest part of a language to master is its prepositions, but it's absolutely interjections and onomatopoeiae. (In Greek, pigs don't go "oink oink", but "koi koi". Revolting...)

The first word on my Hebrew vocab list was Budweiser

New guy idea: Posting about your hobbies (esp. hobbies that come from book, not from plants or womin), and posting about them... a lot

The "parting my hair" to "parting with Rome" pipeline is inevitable

Just unironically used the phrase "winding, hypotactic Swabian prose" in a work message; time for my annual exorcism

Tbf, this is how I find everyone's posts about rigatoni and rigatoni adjacent humo(u)r

As a Vikings fan, this moment of the year feels like being part of the Left Behind series

seems hard to do politics and music at the same time; just the thought of it my makes my mind go whrrrrr! Makes sense no one has tried it

I Can Be Your Angle Or Yuor Devil

They're building a cargo terminal on my rump

Pulling out the Dreamcast to play Turbotax '99; best roster since the Obamaphone guy became president

Spraying a little Burberry London on my cereal to channel my English Roots and get a sense of the old country :))

To: [email protected] From: [email protected][[email protected]] Sent: Sun 01/01/-4004bc 01:03:09 a.m. Subject: apple you gnona eat that applle? othrwise i will eat. look delciciios

in terms of 17th c. substance ontology, you cannot have a "bad bunny"; all bunnies rule

Hiring a MODERATELY intelligent chimpanzee to research and inform me, in serif font of HIS choice, if there are any "good" film renditions of Candide

Every grad program has this trio of fellas; they never leave the student lounge and simply yap about a mix of Communism and baseball

*Wipes urine from mouth; blows dust off of book of "fine posts"* is 2026 the year of a return to... goofs and spoofs?

The dead of Catherine O'Hara hit as hard as Ratzinger's; is this spiritual progress, or?

To disease myself, I looked at the ICE careers page. Interesting that many of them pay barely above the national average, but also require a higher degree. Patiently awaiting the "my philosophy degree isn't useless–it helped me develop my mortal sin skills!" take in First Things

Developing a AAA Hamlet video game so I can REALISTICALLY pour poison into a Dane's ear

I misplaced my titanium tweeting diaper; can I borrow one from a RELIABLE, CLEAN mutual for 4-6 years? Ideally, "troublemaker" sized, Slavic cut

Bringing back my classic tweet director, Sachiko "Hotcake" Eguchi, to guide my 2026 junior posters. Our nimble team writes all posts in accord with the tenets of Shinto and Western "finepost." YES, you can expect a return to "cigarette island"...

Eating gas station sushi. Pray for R.

Weird that every sport was invented in Ottawa, Indiana, or Hell