Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny https://theonion.com/rest-of-lakers-trying-to-act-casual-while-lebron-james-spanks-bronny/

Fleas drunk off the rancid blood of a decrepit porch hound, whose mange has laid bare their bloated asses

I think he's miserable because it went so badly in front of the military. They are not with him, which scuttles his evil dictatorial plans.

LOLing at SCOTUS for telling the crook the one thing he can’t rob is the bank

I can’t think of anything more Orwellian than waking up to find out you’d transformed into a giant bug

Letting out a Malkmus-like screech at the 2:47 mark of “Half a Canyon” when the website crashes before I make it to #1

All for the privilege of hosting a play-in game, in which they were blown out by….the Mavs.

I said my main goal of this trip was to meet with Kilmar. Tonight I had that chance. I have called his wife, Jennifer, to pass along his message of love. I look forward to providing a full update upon my return.

We are a country run by cowards

Watching ‘Heat’ for like the millionth time and I finally realized the juice of this film is gigging in LA

as far as i'm concerned the entire purpose of the american experiment is to provide chuck schumer with a job that's not too challenging, yet rewarding and fun. and i hate to put it to you like this, but every criticism you post, and every phone call you make to his office, gets in the way of that

“My Republican colleagues” -antelope as it’s being picked to the bone by a pack of sadistic jackals

I’ve worked enough tech bro conferences, exalting dudes such as this, to learn that they will talk themselves into anything. Instead of the tea-leaf readers they claim to be, most are just craven tribalists.

First the billionaires, then the consultants

is that E.B.'s music i hear

Detroit’s a top 5 city

I’m just so angry. And hurt. It would be one thing if white people and white-wanna be people chose this for themselves, but they chose it for all of us. And now I’ve got as much hate in my blood as oxygen. Angry, hurt, and wise. This country doesn’t deserve to breathe.

It’s my sincere hope that several years down the road, long after Vance has had any sort relevance, Zelenskyy will track him down and administer the ass-beating that’s be coming to this chud since he was probably 14 years old.

You’re bad at this

He sucks

Luka’s going to drop 70 in his return game to Dallas, after which he’ll reveal the ‘Free Palestine’ tattoo across his newly minted six pack to the whole Adelson family — all because of this loser.

You suck

You suck

I don’t want to hear the word ‘bipartisan’ again. Ever.