one of the smaller things that bothers me about the present state of affairs is that it's made being an American so embarrassing. like, it was never exactly something to be overly proud of- not in my lifetime, anyway- but now, it's so much worse. the people that represent us are humiliating.

my partner (who you may know as @heathenish.bsky.social) is trying to get out of Florida. we're both struggling to find consistent work right now, so we're fundraising to offset the cost of moving out-of-state as much as we can... please share our campaign around if you can

news media organizations (every organization, really) desperately need to start hiring people under the age of 35 and start putting them in decision-making positions. any organization that can't understand youth culture also lacks the ability to meaningfully report on current events

feels not great for society that no one has any money to spend on anything, but almost all the postings on most job boards are just different ways of saying "sales." employment is now begging people to buy products they don't want with money they don't have. grifter nation!

the superman of 2025 is not of one nation, but of the world- and that's what makes him relatable. my latest:

the superman of 2025 is not of one nation, but of the world- and that's what makes him relatable. my latest:

got back my Star Trek self-insert commission from @heathenish.bsky.social and it is STAGGERINGLY beautiful (much like myself). i told Heathen my s/i's Starfleet rank was Lieutenant Junior Grade, and they have accurately reflected that in the pips on his collar. PLEASE commission Heathen, who i LOVE

hi gang!! i’m about $300 bucks short on rent - could use a little help!! >_<

"It's fine because the executive order is still barred in blue states." Folks, PEOPLE IN RED STATES DESERVE HUMAN RIGHTS TOO, AND LOTS OF IMMIGRANTS AND MARGINALIZED PEOPLE DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE EO LIVE IN RED STATES.

we can’t all be empaths some of us have to wield the blade

it isn't that i begrudge anyone who bought a switch 2- it's just that i encourage, in the strongest terms possible, the ongoing effort to undermine nintendo's security efforts so the entirety of their offerings can be accessed entirely for free on your own home PC.

feeling old

i really should get back to writing

that’s right

the plot of The Matrix is ostensibly about breaking free of society's constraints, but if you look at the original trilogy from the POV of the Agent Smith character, it's about how being on the Internet 24/7 will make a person violently insane, and tbh i completely get why he did what he did

oh man i realized that growing my hair back out means i can revive my dream of someday cosplaying Mathangi Ten Meti with my natural hair

a deep sense of melancholy is settling into my bones. i'm thinking about the way things end. there are parts of your life that you get used to, routines you settle into, until eventually you start to think they'll be there forever. and then, one day, they just end.

who's gonna break it to francis ford coppola that you can't erase a film from existence in 2025 just because you're embarrassed you made it. i'm sorry, francis, keeping Megalopolis off the streaming services isn't going to make anyone forget. hell, i feel *obligated* to pirate it now

one of the key components to finding success in personal and professional life is developing the ability to take an L with grace. i think part of the reason we're living through such a moment of pronounced pain right now is that the USA is culturally uncomfortable with saying "I was wrong."

just finished a final re-read of American Gods. i had to do it, in the wake of everything we've learned about Neil Gaiman- a last goodbye to one of his works that meant a great deal to me during a time of great difficulty in my life, and an appraisal of what it means to me now. if anything.

guess i'm going to momocon '25 after all

i really don't like being That Guy, but don't make me go to twitter. if you gotta show me something from that site, just screenshot it- don't make me actually navigate there. it's such become such a viscerally unpleasant space in such a short amount of time

we are living through a moment of art which does not nourish. my latest: bjanderson.substack.com/cp/160583313

so "show less like this" doesn't actually do anything, right. it's the bsky equivalent of the "close doors" button on the elevator, it's just there to give people a little hit of the ol' placebo effect?

sometimes i get callers on my line who don't actually have a problem i can resolve, they very clearly just want to talk to someone. and it's not really in a "i just want to vent for awhile" way, it's that specific "if i can get a human on the phone, i can get whatever i want" boomer mindset

protomen hitting extra hard this morning, in light of recent events

when i was in middle school, i was friends with a girl who often and insistently claimed she was an alien from the planet Pluto (which is now classified *not* as a planet, but as a celestial dwarf, but that's neither here nor there). she was unapologetically weird. i hope she's doing okay.

not gonna lie, i am actually devastated by this. that's been my favorite theater for almost 20 years, i have so many fond memories there

the funniest thing about being super pent up and touch starved is that i'm not even particularly melancholy about it. it's more like "being horny and not having a proper outlet for it is starting to affect my focus, and that's really inconvenient for my work"

i've been thinking about "Harriett the Spy" since Michelle Trachtenberg's passing last week. The movie is a fascinating exploration of privacy- of the idea that our society views it as a luxury, and not one children are entitled to

if they actually move my reporting office to a city two hours away and expect me to get up at 2AM every morning to ensure i have enough time to make it to my 6AM shift... that is just not happening, i'll swallow a hand grenade before i subject myself to that

i don't think i've been this stressed out by a job... ever, actually. i've had a lot of jobs in my life, but this really is something else. *never* been in a situation this hazardous to my mental health. even the worst days at Microsoft weren't *this* bad

i've started to notice that my deep-dives into certain kinds of video games always coincide with times of tremendous stress and mental anguish in my life. i've also started to notice that it doesn't usually help.

one of the more upsetting side-effects of the past month's stress has been the impact it's had on my diet. i take pride in having a lot of discipline, but that resolve crumples immediately in the face of overwhelming mental stressors, which means this month has been more or less catastrophic

love my family and friends, but struggling to make them understand just how demoralizing it is to work in civil service at this particular moment in time

i am so stressed out i think i'm gonna snap in two

i don't generally get too down about spending valentine's day with no partner, because i place a lot of value on other kinds of bonds, and try to spend the day making sure my friends know they are valued and loved. but as a natural romantic, i can't pretend it doesn't suck a *little* 😮‍💨

also if you followed this account from my FFXIV account expecting more fun, i regret to inform you that this is where i come to showcase my writing and also cry. there is no catboy for you here. there is no whimsy for you here. waves a big fire stick.

i really don't want to unplug from all my news sources- it's all germane to my life and career, after all, it feels like it behooves me to know the new and interesting ways my life is being ruined. but i can't *do* anything about it, and the constant barrage is wearing me down.

lexapro has been great for general anxiousness and stopping the bad brain spirals, but it hasn't really done anything for those times where i misread a social situation and immediately get the "YOU FUCKED UP, YOU FUCKED UP, ITS SO OVER" sirens in my brain that don't stop ringing for about 48 hours

ugh, upset with myself for putting on weight this week because the stress of All The Everything is driving me to eat like hell and break my good habits

the time of the black elf is upon us. my latest: open.substack.com/pub/bjanders...

it really bothers me how much current events have impacted my ability to write. it's a small concern, compared to everything else, but it matters to me- i've rarely felt so paralyzed by the times i'm living through

are my meds getting less effective, or am i just extraordinarily stressed out by current events and my future prospects rapidly shrinking like a puddle in the sun

i think in my entire life, the single most damaging string of words i can imagine is "i just don't want to hurt you." i can think of three separate occasions where this exact phrase was said to me in the midst of a devastating conversation. the phrase itself now gives me mild panic attacks tbqh

just reflecting on how much i enjoy crafts. this time last year, i was putting the finishing touches on my MAGFest cosplay after teaching myself how to sew and punch leather and denim and stuff. didn't come out exactly how i wanted, but i really enjoyed the project. i wanna get back to that

i think i want to take up knitting

there was a time in my life when i would not hesitate to stick my neck out for anyone that asked- indeed, i believed it was the entire purpose of being a grown person. i had convinced myself that my entire purpose on earth was to serve other.