2 Ring 2 Furious

rapture happened if you can read this you are gay

Anyone wanna divest all their money to me before they get raptured I promise I will take very good care of it

please stop saying shit like "real christians don't do this." Real Christians do. They're sitting there right now doing it. They joined that kind of Christianity with the explicit intention of doing exactly what they're doing right now.

american liberals be like "no matter what you thought about him, Joseph Goebbels had a heartfelt memorial with his family in attendance"

I have class on Tuesday, can we postpone the Rapture by any chance?

Don't fully agree with her phrasing of it but I will admit, despite being profoundly disappointed by McBride at all times, some of the takes about her On Here are...somewhat frothing transmisogyny

another 1000 years of Our Glorious Supreme Leader Doug Ford ig

Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized For FBI Agents To Infiltrate https://theonion.com/left-wing-group-too-disorganized-for-fbi-agents-to-infi-1848923025/

just one more capitulation bro one more then the fascists will stop oppressing us bro one more capitulation

hey can you come pick me up. yeah they’re saying Lady Bird is a reactionary pro-parental abuse film on Twitter and I’m scared

the more time passes the more it feels like biden actively preferred a trump victory so his ego wouldn’t be hurt

This Week's Onion Magazine:

Bit too much lib “what are we, North Korea?” posting for my tastes right now

How could the woman who wrote Grindelwald trying to stop the Holocaust possibly quote Hitler?!?!?

Something needs to put a stop to this naked authoritarianism America is going through, not least because if I'm expected to defend Jimmy Fallon's inevitable show cancellation I will retch

if Jimmy Kimmel's political humor is too hot for you to handle, I'm not sure "snowflake" even cuts it as a term of derision for the level of fragility you've achieved

jesus christ

Sad to hear that Robert Redford has died today at his home in Utah. Worst thing that's happened in Utah all year

Fortunately I can't be fired from my job for making fun of Charlie Kirk because I don't have one

Obviously the media is transphobic but I don't know if I've yet seen a case like this where they're *this* desperate to find a trans connection, it's insane

Nazi: *is shot and killed* Fascists: probably a tr*nny we need to round up and kill them all!!!!!!! Shooter: Hi I'm a weird terminally online groyper who posts dank memes. Also I'm an affluent white man Fascists: Poor lost soul...pray for him...

…….Honestly the only reason I’m kind of believing this is true is because imagining Kash Patel and his goons brainstorming what messages to plant on the casings and coming up with this is worse

Why do all smokers, walking towards you on the street, always take a hit of their cigarette as they pass you and blast you with a cloud of secondhand smoke? I’ve had it happen to me twice today.

the agoraphobic online twitter lesbians don’t understand Honey Don’t! like I do

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board:

It feels a bit insane to me that I've seen this exact expression on family members who've suffered strokes, but on Trump I'm apparently being a conspiracy theorist if I say anything about it

it is journalism's sacred duty to endanger as many trans people as possible

suck my dick

this is all true but it's also hard to say how much that matters given the fact that this is literally their rhetoric all the time now

The thing you start noticing the most is which violence is condemned and "thoughts and prayers" stamped, and which is egged on enthusiastically by the same people condemning the previous violence

Anyway how yall doing today I get to watch Singing in the Rain for a film class project

I ain’t gonna post anything I regret, which will include thoughts and prayers.

Look, if a bunch of people sent me birthday cards, even if I were a rich pedophile I’d want them to mention more than the pedo thing

Maybe if Israel were serious about ending the conflict they wouldn’t bomb negotiators in another country idk just a thought

The morning’s bright the sky is blue and we have a teaser trailer! WAKE UP DEAD MAN the new Benoit Blanc mystery, in theaters Thanksgiving and on Netflix 12/12

I don't care if you got to see Wake Up Dead Man at TIFF. It should have been me

Before criticizing JD Vance, have you considered that he's literally neurodivergent and a minor?

Dismayed by the "I loathe Gl**ner but his arrest should scare us all" takes. The bar for arrest over a social media post *should be extremely high*, but a guy who's harassed trans people 19 hours a day for 8 years, telling his 600k fans to attack any trans women they see, clears that bar v easily?

Everything else aside, no way Trump himself wrote such a 4chan-esque epic meme bacon post like this, it's obviously one of his edgelord staffers like the ones running the White House account

Amazing developments in women defending theory happening in that courtroom. www.chortle.co.uk/news/2025/09...

This gets progressively funnier with every use of the term "floppy".

your honour I did all that shit I just have a couple quibbles about the wording

can you turn to your left, graham? further left. look we're going to get a lot of reader mail about your face, just keep turning left until symmetry isn't an issue.