My pals at @vidiots.bsky.social created an interactive experience during the film breaking fakeout scene in their screening of Gremlins 2: The New Batch last weekend. It's even better than what I had hoped to do in 1990! 😁

[Daughter makes little worms out of play-doh] Wife, jokingly: Would you still love me if I was a worm? Daughter, without hesitation: YES! Wife: Awww— Daughter: I LOVE worms! Wife: ah.

New episode of Big City Greens this morning! “Saxon Saxability” might be my favorite script I wrote for season 4. And man, the art, the music, the casting…. Everyone hit it out of the park. Watch on Disney Channel now (and Disney+ at some point in the future)

Animation timelines are wild. In January 2023, I interviewed for a staffing job on Big City Greens and pitched an idea called “Chocolate Santa.” Tomorrow, after working here for over two years, it’ll finally air on Disney+ So, check out my first episode… and the many more that will come after!

A Great War is brewing…

this is my new kink

You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty But who cares No big deal I want mooooooooore I want 21 thingamabobs

If I’m reading this sign correctly, this faucet sprays spaghetti

This moment from L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” was immortalized in the movie with the Scarecrow’s beloved song, “If I Only Had A Psychopathic Ability To Kill Forty Crows With My Hands, One By One, By Breaking Their Necks”

🎶 It’s the Mickey Mouse Roadhouse Come inside There’s blood inside

“Legs! I Need Legs! LEGS!”

Altoona desperately trying to be known for something other than its pizza

Lol. One week after the Economist published this chart showing the dude can't stop tweeting in the middle of the night, Elon removes time stamps from tweets.

Acting tip: if you have a line like “what are you doing?” Or “where are you going?” pronounce the last word so it rhymes with “boing.” This is called “making a choice”

“Many?” Really? MANY cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse? Sir, I believe that you know precisely one. And we ALL know that one.

Playing with my food, Friday

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, but especially to Heather F.’s family, who, if this comment on a cranberry sauce recipe is any indication, will be putting up with all kinds of bullshit today

Another day storing my vanilla extract and liquid smoke next to each other, knowing I’m asking for disaster, doing nothing about it

“Harry Potter on the island” - my wife, trying to remember the movie “Swiss Army Man”

This post sure made me reflect on my career in ways I find extremely disorienting

Having a toddler is like living with a video game NPC. Little dudes running the same dialogue trees and subroutines over and over, and if anything bad happens to them, it’s definitely your fault.

oh good noted film lover/historian/archivist david zaslav

I don’t care that he’s probably not in the script, I must play the role of Tingle

You know what’s a fun word to type? “Onion.” Just a lil’ one cycle. Oniononionionionion Yeah. That’s the stuff.

Evelyn Waugh is the evil version of Evelyn Ugh

Low-stakes opinions I’ve formed since becoming a dad: - all playgrounds should have cafés attached - more authors of kids books need a firmer grasp of meter - if daycare is going to cost as much as college, my kid should get some kind of degree out of it - more places should be open before 9 am

Shout out to this horrifying illustration in my kid’s book

Hey, what’s up with that scrapey hook thing dentists use? Presumably it’s good for teeth, but I’ve never heard anyone suggest you should have your own. Can I buy my own scrapey hook? Should I???

Every artistic depiction of watermelon shows it with seeds, but I’ve seen nothing but seedless melon for at least 20 years. That fruit needs to update its profile pic

It’s kinda funny that your phone has an app called “phone” whose icon is a shittier phone

I just found out all 73 locations of the Los Angeles Public Library have free COVID tests in stock. You don't even need a library card. https://www.lapl.org/covid-tests

Some days I feel incredibly lucky to be a homeowner and some days (today, for instance) I learn that bees have built a hive in my chimney and are flying into my living room

I have completed my transformation into a dad* *(eating the heel slices off the bread to save the more desirable slices for my child)

Was this article written by a boiled frog?

When I’m parched nothing quenches my thirst like a tall glass of pea

One morning the sun came up and POP, out of the egg came a tiny, very hungry caterpillar. On Monday he ate through one apple. But he was still hungry. On Tuesday he ate through two pears, but he was still hungry. On Wednesday he ate through 55burgers55fries55tacos55pies55cokes100tatertots100pizzas

TV would make you think that crossword puzzle clues are like “Hound (3 letters)” when it’s really more like “1975 MCG oater star Durglan, and others, briefly”

“I am a free thinker with innovative new ideas,” I say as I eat my corn on the cob vertically. “An early adopter,” I say, gagging and sputtering out kernels

Front page of LA times this morning is like a too-on-the-nose newspaper a character conspicuously reads in a Mad Max prequel

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag. KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense. KOKO: jealousy professor

The SAG strike is the closest I will ever come to saying “you can’t fire me! I quit!”

Comedians: “I had to tweak the wording 80 times, but this joke is now 1% funnier” The Emmys: “Y’know what always makes me laugh? Things that are 30 minutes”

“Sea ho!” I call out from the crow’s nest after once again spotting the sea. “Sea ho!” The crew aim their muskets at me in appreciation for my vigilance. “Sea

Sometimes teeth are the only thing remaining from multi-million-year-old fossils and sometimes they’re like “Too much sugar, help”

Sowing chaos by slapping all packaging with stickers that say “NEW Easy Open! ↗️”

I pretend to have left certain platforms for moral reasons, but I actually left because they became miserable, joyless places long before they became “evil”