#SEAvSTL FULL TIME ANALYSIS! 1) CRISTIAN ROLDAN CAN DO ANYTHING 2) I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM WITH JESÚS FERREIRA’S HAIR 3) WHY DO PEOPLE PLAY SOCCER ON GRASS THIS SEEMS DANGEOUS 4) HOW IS NOUHOU THE MOST CALMING FORCE ON THIS TEAM?! 5) WHOASASSY DERO 6) BRIAN SCHMETZER YOURE A MANIAC FOR THIS #EBFG

ONLY NOUHOUS

THE WHEEL OF HOT SAUCE

I SAID FREE WHOASASSY AND HE IS FREE

FREE WHOASASSY

11:11 MAKE A FUCKIG WISH

STARTING A PETITION TO PLAY NO MORE DEFENDERS

Everyone: who is going to play CB? Schmetz:

ITS ACTUALLY JUST A BACK ONE WITH LOPEZ MANNING THE SHIP

KALANI SLIPPED RIP UP THE PITCH

THE ONLY RUSS WHO HAS EVER MATTERED IN SEATTLE SPORTS

KEEPER PENALTY

I didn’t know we could bring pets to Lumen Field’s new grass surface by the way Sounders at dog-walkin’ they asses, yadamean?

#SEAvSTL HALFTIME ANALYSIS! 1) CRISTIAN ROLDAN SCORES A GOAL ON A CORNER 2) CRISTIAN ROLDAN SCORES A GOAL ON A CORNER 3) CRISTIAN ROLDAN ANNOUNCES THAT IM HAVING HIS BABY 4) ILL DROP THE LINK TO OUR REGISTRY 5)STARTING A GOFUNDME TO GET MY BABY DADDY SOME SALAD LIKE JESÚS FERREIRA #EBFG #SGAFSU

IM HAVING CRISTIANS BABYYYYYY!!!!

LOLOLOLOL CRITIAN IS YOUR DADDY

HE SITS ON YOUR FACE HE SITS ON YOUR FACE HES PAUL ARRIOLA HE SITS ON YOUR FACE

PARA GANAR ESMERALDAS

SO MANY FLAGS ECS YOU ARE THE SEXIEST @weareecs.bsky.social

As any good host would be. #TropicSoundExperience

ALIENS…

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SKEET ID MAKE HASHTAG IN YOU END OH!

CRISTIAN ROLDAN YOU GORGEOUS BASTARD

KALANI SO CLOSE PUNCH THAT GUY IN THE DICK

GUYS DO A SOCCER

Now here is a view I’ve missed

NOUHOU SMIRK >>>>

Is Homer Simpson flipping me off? Lolol

YOUR SHIRTS LOOK LIKE PISS YOUR SHIRTS LOOK LIKE PISS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HYDRATE YOUR SHIRTS LOOK LIKE PISS

NOUHOU TAKES OUT TWO BUDWEISERS IN ONE PLAY

GRASS SUCKS WE SHOULD PUT IN TURF

OH. HI. HELLO.

YOUR BUD LIGHT GOLD JERSEY IS STUPID AND FUCK YOU

I LOVE MY SOUNDERS LOVE THE BLUE AND THE GREEN ILL KEEP ON SINGING FOR A SOUNDERS VICTORY

TAKE EVERY PIECE OF SILVER LEFT

HORSECOCKERY AT ITS FINEST

Deep breaths, everyone

ALEX YOU ARE CAPTAIN CONCACAF LETS GOOOOOO

6 MINUTES LOLOLOL

YOU WANNA GET CRAZY LETS GET FUCKING CRAZY

23 minutes of stoppage.

FULLY NUDE POGO UNTIL THE WHISTLE FOR OUR BOYS TIL THE END

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL DE LOS SOUNDERS!!!!!! TODAVÍA HAY TIEMPO PARA UN MILAGRO!!!!

RUSS YOU FUCKING LASER SHOW

MOOSE LOOKING FOR THAT TRUCK THAT JUST DROVE ON THE FIELD

ALRIGHT BOYS TIME TO CONCACAF THE FUCK OUT OF THIS MATCH LETS GOOOO

GRIP IT AND RIP IT

OF COURSE

27 HANDBALLS IN ONE SEQUENCE ALL BY TIGRES VAR HAS ABOUT 30 MINUTES OF FILM TO WATCH