My neighbour is sweeping leaves off my drive, good for him, I deserve this

Hello everyone 👋🏻

Trying to baby proof by searching 'silicone knob covers'

Baby has a cold so has slept in twenty minute stints max for 3 days. I've put him in the baby sling so he can try nap sitting up to breathe better but FUK ME he is heavy. So many ragrats.

Trying to teach the baby to dance and his deadpan look as I twerk to sexy and I know it is really quite humbling Loves Britney's womaniser tho

Good morning from me and my teenager

I am so unsexy I had no choice but to ban it for everyone. Apologies to those affected xxxx

In other news, baby's new shoes!!

Omw to the dentist to sort my gob out because turns out vomiting ten times a day for eight months isn't good for your toothy pegs

Hu says no more dungarees for the baby. I says shut ya mouth.

My fight or flight response has been kicking orfffff today, do not recommend

Like mother like son

STOP TELLING ME WHAT NIGEL FARAGE HAS SAID I SIMPLY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

Now the baby can crawl he is free to go where he pleases! And where he pleases is to me to hold him 24/7.

Innocent conversation about the flags around and the other person thought I'd be open to them going off about imprisoning immigrants so they don't commit crime 😮‍💨 looked shocked when I pointed out if most crimes are committed by men then by that logic we should be locking all men up preemptively.

Three hours of broken sleep to carry round a 10kg baby that only wants his mum

My sore tooth has kept me awake and the BABY HAS BEEN ASLEEP FOR 5 HOURS 🤪🤪🤪🤪

In the background of this pic are all the babies lovely toys he's been given! In the foreground of this pic are his favourite toys: laundry cup and bepanthen tube (apparently quite tasty to eat).

Was with my baby friends moaning about their jobs refusing their flexible working requests or consolidating their hours and I came home moaning to Hu about how impossible it is

Omg work have asked me about a keeping in touch day AGAIN!!!! I DO NOT WISH TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOU

Nap time

Baby decided to wake up at the crack of dawn today unless I let him pull and twist my nipples like one of those old timey phone operators whilst his eyes were closed

I thought dominos was just laying them all however you wish. Wdym there's thought to this????

I love when other people live the same random out there experience and you realise we really are just little ants

As a grown woman complicit in my own "erasure" the more I see statements like this the more I wish to become amorphous, no more gender, fuck womanhood entirely. Cis men and bigots "protecting" my sex feels disgusting and I would rather be a rock than their idea of a woman.

My child has seen the pub more in 8 months than I had in 18 years

Happy last day of the in-laws to those who celebrate 🥂

Is it just me that loves when stools have the bumcheeks moulded on them

I have baked a disgusting cake!!!

Me and my other sidekick

Me ft my sidekick the nappy bin

Hmm something doesn't seem right here

Good morning to everyone except my former employer

Spider baby

Who could have foreseen a tool which learns from people would have well established biases?!

I am OVULATING 🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑

Still cute sometimes ✅

Interesting choice by Hu to pick a film about a baby being kidnapped by a giant for consumption the first time our baby isn't with one of his parents

Going cinema without the baby, want to die 👍🏻

Off to get his vegan sausage rolls

It really is quite the phenomenon wanting to be simultaneously away from your child and with them 25/8

Good morning from Hu who was hammering coconuts (oioi) at 7am with no consideration to his sleeping mother

Watching some random postpartum video on YouTube and get an ad from Israel foreign ministry 🤢🤢🤢

Is Starmer not embarrassed that the strongest way he can condemn literal genocide is 'we urge Israel to reconsider' (Rhetorical, the rat knows no shame)

My MIL makes it too easy

Got one of those fancy foam rollers

Imagine being this cute???? (Yes I am hypermobile why do u ask)