draft @rusty.todayintabs.com

Millie Bobby Brown thinks that she was a closeted gay soldier killed with a sword in past life

they're calling it the most bluesky post of all time

which one of you put my fancy japanese electronic toilet in "tim curry voice" mode

guys we need a new exit plan

unusual situation where a new york team's in a 25-year championship drought, so you kinda half to put up with you acting like the protagonists of the united states even though you guys also act like that at all other times

this is basically like finding a clovis point in some parts of the united states. they may not be rare, sure, but it's still something special to find one yourself.

please explain immediately

did you think i was kidding

my chamoy chicano my tamarind tejano my pickles rick spurs in six

sorry the only "real" new yorkers are the rats who work in the kitchen in Muppets Take Manhattan

when you stay on twitter but it doesn't affect you

victor wembanyana can hug six people at once

you almost never see a stripper wearing a nice watch

doordashing a tank of gas

(laughs smugly, raises eyebrow) Really? Talarico is "low T"? Then why is the T the only capital letter in his name?

@johnmoe.bsky.social i think "hungry heart" is just bruce springsteen making excuses to detective steely dan for being the guy from "do it again"

so listen, i never do this. but this guy could not stop talking about how much he hates circumcision and then he hits me with this and man. they invent new kinds of this every week. anyway i told him ignorance is bris and he cut me off

Words are falling out like endless

whatcha think wemby's favorite poem is? i think it's "the idea of order at key west" Like a body wholly body, fluttering Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry, That was not ours although we understood, Inhuman, of the veritable ocean.

I usually try to explain it like this: picture Volodymyr Zelenskyy as Big Balls. Now imagine they're Cornish. Doesn't look so much like the Battle of the Alamo was caused by gopniks mowing the lawn now, does it?

2026 lennon: russell brand maga harrison: woolly rfk maga starr: tax evasion maga mccartney: still with her

mike's silken lemonade

how's everyone enjoying their psychoanalysis in reverse tonight

"Franchise", Isaac Asimov, 1955

just flew in from the michelin man people civil war and boy are my tires armed

the french connection wasn't gene hackman's best movie but y'all ain't ready for that conversation

Examples of your point? I'll wait. (leaving)

why are you taking this picture in the middle of the hardware store, clod? are you gonna post it somewhere?

penis building penis penis penis building penis penis penis building penis penis penis building penis penis AH CAN'T STOP THIS FEEEEELIN (building penis penis) DEEP IN-SAHHH-AHHHD O'ME (-nis building penis penis) GIRL YOU JUST DON'T REALAHHHZE (penis penis) WHATCHADOTAME (building penis penis buildi

are you behind an http proxy? because nobody GETs your POSTs

*swaps ur LLM provider with zork* uwu

(inspectah deck voice)

mike's hard broth

update: i went with peevish

thinking about becoming irascible

idk why you picked this specific year but i'd probably be celebrating the 100-year anniversary of the christianization of poland, along with everyone else!

György Ligeti — Requiem: II. Kyrie

why don't they make the whole white house out of the ballroom

it's very hard not to look at the chuds put out about the "staged" slop and say oh, you flooded the zone with shit for years and figured you'd never need that zone to be clean? aw geez are you sad that nobody thinks honesty gets you anywhere? buddy! does it feel everyone's lying about you? oh nooooo

the sound i made when i woke up as a cool biker skeleton and then realized i had no dick

ladies and gentlemen...the prestige

trad cannibal calling out a vampire for not using the whole animal

I have a terrible suspicion Mr Clod at Whatever Dot Mom might be posting in Bad Faith

swims (takes a minute to turn laptop upside down, knocking open can of diet coke over and onto power strip. trips over dog trying to get to fire extinguisher. now reading this at the vets. "oh yeah. he's right.")

Hot Ones but it's superglue

I’m sorry, but bluesky is THRIVING…

The United States of America has a civil religion and it's that the Muppets are real