good morning faggots

ok real funny guys reeeeaaal funny. now that youve had your fun its time to fess up: whose. pussy. is. this.

was it my massive cock? or my super cool balls

*increasing panic* WHO'S PUSSY IS THIS?????

imagine ur dad goes spinny

imagine dealing with ur dad's baby tran phase

imagine ur dad is like "im starting e but my pronouns are still he/him"

my returns? diminished

going to ihateharper.com and logging into a premium account

type shit

adding a “controversies” section to my own wikipedia page

an anarchist community cannot survive $200

my demons r british

sometimes i go on the limerence subreddit just to remind myself having BPD is pathetic actually

day after day after day after day after day

hi

weef

newport brownie it’s like a weed brownie but makes u feel like u smoked a newport

a magician forgets all of her secrets

GABAgool

babe is my middle finger fingernail too clocky

fuck that was actually true

*dr house scornful voice* start the treatment. that is, if “tape” thinks it’s okay

i eat 1 lb of white turkey meat DRY and then i go home and kill my self

i hope i die before im useless and i hope i get to be useful before i die

i’m sorry, it smells like COMMUNITY

it smells like sweaty blunts in the oakland dmv

performatively writing “fuck off” on my pants at the dmv

who is this “ED” and why does he keep making pretty girls sad ? sounds like a job for me and my boys

what am i, a toxic person???

smoking weef

can someone put this on a fucking billboard pls, like i promise there is no “”””fix”””” to how u look that makes u pass

*handing you a dulcimer* you wanna hit this shit ?

in 20XX bluesky there’s a button u press to add ai generated ishowspeed reacting to ur post

on the outside i may seem like a regular girl but on the inside i need to do laundry.

oh you’ve never seen fight club? that’s cool, it’s lame anyway haha. ok so here are some of my original ideas

i want to start a fight & lose

i wanna get a tattoo what should i get

i’m a boy who identified with the female lead too hard

smoking weef

they should have a house episode where the patient’s polycule can’t agree on a course of treatment

oh fuck do they call it house bc he goes to their houses

the dubstep is diagetic :<

Whenever i hit the bong i try to make it cum by moving my tongue back & forth as one does

you have to ADMIT that you want a boner

bratting for the sneeze

*friendly voice* fuck you, i don’t respect u at all

*really horny guy voice* i’m not horny. at all

*really depressed guy voice* i didn’t get much sleep last night i was fucking a hot woman

i keep seeing this weird kind of youtube short where it’s a couple a board game & because i’m an empath i can tell they’re all about to break up