I have been laughing at this for a solid five minutes.

A political broadcast by Deform is on at the moment. Please get Fartage's lying froggy face off my telly before I throw something hard and heavy at it. Thank you.

Spotted on the site that shall not be named. Anyone want to tell this 'Marcus Bunchofnumbers' pillock that this is in neither Oxford nor Canterbury? 🤦🏽

And this is the type of crap we with ADHD have to face on the regular. You have no fucking clue what it’s like to exist in my head with ADHD. It’s not cute, quirky or a bit forgetful. It’s brutal. Never ending. NOISE.

Social media has made us all addicted to trauma. Yes, including you.

This morning's earworm - and an appropriate song for this crap weather - comes from former Eurovision entrant SuRie. Enjoy.

This hit so fucking hard today.

Is anyone surprised? 🙄

Share a TV show you love that ran for 7 seasons or more. 📺 #RandomTelevisionGIF #TVSky

GONE ALREADY.

#SpotTheScammer eveeexstar.bsky.social. Petite Asian with a new account. Made the mistake of liking one of my posts. Now blocked and reported.

Almost time for my #MaskedSingerUK watch-a-long. Tonight's emojis: 🌰 = Conkers 🙈 = Monkey Business ⚪🦊 = Arctic Fox 🔴🐼 = Red Panda 🥫🐛 = Can Of Worms 🦋 = Moth 🦥 = Sloth 🍞🔥 = Toastie Let's 'ave it!

Are they taking the piss?

I will be catching up with #MaskedSingerUK tonight but I have seen the spoiler for one of the reveals. Let's just say I love being proved right...

If you see this, post an album cover with a motor vehicle on it.

I know I shouldn't really have anything to do with Lady Moldemort any more but this scene gets me every time. 😢

You're watching BBC Scotland.

Finally catching up with Saturday night's #MaskedSingerUK as I was busy last night and could only get Gladiators. Let the spookfest begin. Who are you?

Korma Chameleon. #PopularFoodInASongOrMovie

Steel putting Clutterbug in the bin after Powerball was not on my bingo card! 🤣 #Gladiators

A massive "Hands off Greenland" protest is happening right now in Copenhagen to demonstrate against Trump's threats. "The aim is to send a clear and unified message of respect for Greenland's democracy," organisers said. “Respect for Greenland, respect for Greenlanders, respect for Denmark.”

Malta have finally sent Aidan Cassar to Eurovision. As I've previously said, I would normally support him (and Malta) all the way, I just can't do it this year. Sorry. 😢🇲🇹

Occasional public reminder that trans and non-binary readers are welcome in my books and always will be. The world is a nightmare at the moment, but I won’t stop speaking for whatever value my voice might have. Stay alive, you beauties. Happiness is the best revenge.

TV wise tonight: my sky-a-long (is that even a thing here?) of both Gladiators and The Masked Singer will have to wait until Monday night. I'm working the late shift at work tonight and tomorrow so I'll have to watch them on catch-up instead. Watch this space.

Miriana Conte's new EP is packed solid full of banger after banger and pure unadulterated filth. I wholeheartedly approve. 😁

Post a game that you remember playing but nobody remembers.

Some publications get their covers just right!!

Saw this on Threads and thought I'd bring it here. I'm intrigued. 😁

Slightly diminish a game: things you find in the dictionary with a few people you don't mind being around.

Blasted ring's gone missing. Thought I'd put it into my little Peter Rabbit tin alongside another one I wear all the time but, alas, nope. Looked everywhere. It has to be in the flat somewhere as I didn't go out yesterday. Took it off to do the washing up and now I can't find the bugger. Woe is me.

Masked Singer time in less than half an hour. Tonight's emojis: ⚪🦊 = Arctic Fox 🌰 = Conkers 🙈 = Monkey Business 🍞🔥 = Toastie 🐃 = Yak Stay tuned! #MaskedSingerUK

If a kid starts kicking up a fuss on a plane, other people should be allowed to tell them to shut up and tell the parents to do better without it being frowned upon. Signed by someone who sat behind a child throwing a fit because the internet didn't work 30,000+ feet in the air.

I'm a train driver, I'll blow my horn and wave at any kids, elderly or drunks who give me the sign, I love it. But trainspotters pestering us to blow the horn, filming everything we do including mistakes so they can upload it can fuck off. Nobody likes a grass.

Who's going to tell the orange idiot that neither Russia nor China could give two shits about Greenland? 🤦🏽

UPDATE: I'm booked on a TPE which is still running part-way on the East Coast route but diverting at Church Fenton and going via Castleford so at least I'll get a bit of legroom instead of being squashed in on an oversized sardine tin on rails (otherwise known as a Northern Rail train). Bliss.

Heading to my homeland on Tuesday for another funeral but I'm having to slum it on the longer Northern route that goes via Harrogate as the one I normally use is partially out of action thanks to the TransPennine upgrade. And the sound system on that train is, for want of a better word, shit. Help.

#SpotTheScammer @slymzyz264any-mor7.bsky.social. Another one replying to random posts asking for money. Now reported and blocked.

😂

Hej, Donald, skid fanden af, din kusse.

Taskmaster NYT part 2 is go. Strong start from Sam: he's brought in his jumpsuit from Eurovision as a prize. 🥰 #TaskmasterUK #TaskmasterNYT

Here we go... episode 2 of #MaskedSingerUK is a-go! 😁

Au revoir, Nancy. Don't let the door hit you on the derrière on the way out of Paradise. 🍀 #CelticFC

I won't be using 🔴🐼 tonight after all. They were dropped from last night's* episode due to it being deemed inappropriate after the Swiss bar fire. It'll be a beggar if they go out tonight. 😬 #MaskedSingerUK

REMINDER: I'll be catching up with last night's #MaskedSingerUK tonight (and then watching tonight's tomorrow). So, on that basis, here are the emojis I'll be using: 🦋 = Moth 🦥 = Sloth 💿 = Disc Jockey (DJ for short) 👹 = Gargoyle 🥫🐛 = Can Of Worms (Worms for short) 🔴🐼 = Red Panda And that's it!

The new #Taskmaster line-up is INCREDIBLE.

Never heard of Kumail but I'm looking forward to seeing Joel and Joanna make absolute fools of themselves in the next series. Bring it on! #Taskmaster #TaskmasterUK

"Ooh, ya bastard!" Thanks Sam. #TaskmasterNYT

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Music by Gary Glitter, Rolf Harris and Jonathan King is effectively banned. We all know why. However, music by convicted murderer Phil Spector is not, particularly at Christmas. This is weird.

Listening to Faithful Joe's autobiography on Spotify. I may support Ireland in the rugby but I'm loving what I'm hearing thus far. 🥰