My Old Guard...

Now, I wish this weren't a true story... I bought a HP LaserJet printer, a couple of years back, and it was fine, but then the right side of the pages were smeared toner. Two years later, after accepting this poor quality, I just opened the back and found Mr Mousy. 🤡

Your cat can see ghosts

I don't know why this lad is building a subterranean city for cats, but I'm all for it.

Thanks Mark Iles for buying my latest #sciencefiction novella. www.amazon.co.uk/Opis-World-B...

Hah, funny to see Amazon trying to sell me my own book.

Rainbow Rainbow

Tories vs Labour The bastard ruttspawn of, respectively, all Tory Prime Minister since Thatcher, and all Labour Prime Ministers since Blair.

The Beatles Pink Floyd The Monkeys The Spice Girls

This record sleeve inspired terror into my tiny mind, in the mid-70s, anno domini.

Remember in the Apocalypse, when people suffered such extreme cabin fever that sea shanties became popular again?

Please enjoy this turtle being given the gift of speed, and immediately using it to chase a kitty

Flat earth.

Fun fact: on this day in 1951, 23-year-old Anita Bush became the first ever British woman to have a bikini wax.

"But doesn't it feel like the end? Something's coming for us. I think we're not prepared That this might only be day one." - James Blake What an incredible voice. What incredible music and musicians, and what an intense, beautiful, haunting song. youtu.be/AG2linYMEhM

As if the Isle of Man has a Spanish Embassy! :)

Monkey.

1) They should not be arresting minors (6 & 9). 2) They should have a way to get the 6 yo cleaned up because they FUCKING TRAUMATIZED HIM WITH A FUCKING GUN. 3) They are basically sentencing a 6 yo to death because he can’t get his treatments. That is where we are with immigration policy.

Australia

It's often pointed out that there's no toad in toad in the hole... but what if there is? What if we're being lied to? #HoletoadTheory

“You… shall not… PASS! Prrrrrrr.”

Why are trousers pluralised so often? Dungarees, jeans, slacks, flares... Because there are two legs? Do the people who invent these words think, if we ask for a dungaree, we'll get only one leg? I don't get it... And now I'm 'word-blind' to dungarees. Surely that can't be the correct spelling?

Nobody's really going to have fun on the Moon until spacesuits are made of a flexible lycra-like material, allowing for starjumps, and NASA allow their astronauts to say "Wheeeeee!"

Terrible things are happening in the world and nobody stops them. That’s the short summary of the human race.

It's a scorcher down on the English Costa del sol today.

DO YOU WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY? If so, while remaining in stealth mode, unseen, put the top of a tomato underneath an upturned cup, then retreat to a safe distance and wait for minutes or even seconds... This will make your day better.

If you can choose to be anything, in this life, why do so many people choose to be evil?

Trump is a useful idiot. Unless you're married to him. Then he's just an idiot.

I want to put this on record, and let you all know that I am no longer engaged in building nuclear weapons and intercontinental ballistic missiles, but if someone wants to change my regime, that would be welcome.

Moral of the Story: Do not build a diamond railway.

Is there anybody out there?

If the HS2 line's rails were made of gold, the project would have cost £3.24 trillion, rather than a mere £34 billion. If they'd chosen diamonds, rather than steel? £2.7 quadrillion. Defaulting on that would give the entire Solar System a bad credit rating. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Answering only A or B, and in reverse order or retrospective opinion, do you think Donald J. Trump is: 1) The President of Peace 2) The President of Piss 3) The Father of Fuckwittery

I just read Air India say another flight to London had been in an 'incident' today. Two in a fortnight? And ships 'losing power'... all coincidences, or is this the work of Moriarty, once more? *smokes beard and rubs pipe*

Do you know, the Russians have a *deliverable* version of Tsar Bomba? It's nicknamed Satan II, or just Satan to its friends. www.euronews.com/next/2024/10...

The US generally goes to war at around prime-time, ET.

I hope they don't accidentally strike Bilbao.

"I will take the bombs to Fordo... but I do not know the way," said Mrodro "You have my Massive Ordinance Air Burst megabombs," said Glimi. "And my secret weather-changing satellites," said Ishmael. "And my approval," said the woman from Cuntdoown. apnews.com/article/bunk...

When something is complex, it's best not to ask Fox News to deal with it.

BBC News are trolling Trump by reading out his 2013 Tweet saying Obama would attack Iran, and shouldn't be trusted (because he's black).

Trump just said he's deporting people who are mentally insane. But what about the physically insane?