Me to people standing in the Melbourne tram doorway and aisle while there are seats available: #melbourne #auspol

Got chatting to one of the old blokes at my dad’s village and he gave me a few of these for use in the future.

I believe in the separation of comedian and state. #auspol

Taking creatine has improved my ability to stay asleep, although I’m having batshit-crazy dreams.

My favourite moisturizer - the Avene Xeracalm Balm - has been discontinued. Absolute cvnts.

🚨 ATTENTION COLES SHOPPERS! 🚨

Lindsey Graham has gone to the big closet in the sky.

I can’t explain how but I think this would fix me

Best “Star Trek” captain. Wrong answers only.

Derryn Hinch dying reminds me of 2005 when Graham Kennedy died and it was revealed he was gay and Hinch suggested he died from AIDS and my homophobic grandfather who was a fan of Kennedy rang my mother and yelled down the phone “Graham Kennedy was a queer!!”

Name a more iconic Australian trio. I’ll wait. #derrynhinch #ripderrynhinch

RIP Bonnie Tyler 😭 Put out your total eclipses of the heart ❤️

share one of your all-time favourite actors!

My phone is finally working! Bloody Telstra.

Channel 9’s The Hundred really is a load of drivel. Tonight’s topic: how many Australians have hooked up with someone on a plane, with Dave Hughes, Denise Scott and Mike Goldstein. Q and A for bogans.

What the hell do Albo’s advisers like @murpharoo do all day? He’s being very poorly advised. He doesnt need to be going on FM radio and podcasts constantly.

Lol 😂

With an inquiry recommending a ban on gambling ads and 80% of Australians in agreement, the answer is obvious.... MORE GAMBLING ADS! www.smh.com.au/politics/fed...

Happy Fourth of July!

It’s that time of year, Melbourne! #melbweather #melbourne

When Graham Kennedy died in 2005 and it was revealed he was gay my grandfather rang up my mother and said in dismay “Graham Kennedy was a queer!”

Pauline Hanson’s monoculture: #auspol

Saw a twink postie riding down Chapel street Balaclava.

My library reservation has arrived 🤩

Andy Burnham looks like Graham Linehan after a glow-up.

New autistic hyperfixation just dropped: NDIS fraud.

Susan Boyle or Cynthia Swann Griffin from First Wives Club?

Straight guys will chase after a ball all weekend instead of going to therapy.

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons gif

Lol imagine if our former PMs got libraries dedicated just to them like former US presidents do. What would the Tony Abbott Prime Ministerial Library contain? An onion and Prince Philip’s knighthood? #auspol

OMG has anyone seen the new KFC ad with the blonde twink ice-skating with the drumstick? 🍗 😂

Where did Gina Rinehart get that accent?

Lincraft is closing down?!

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness was a fucking idiot. Life under capitalism is pretty bleak without it.

The Australian’s former cartoonist Bill Leak fell off a balcony and hit his head and then became a RWNJ. Maybe the same has happened to Dave Hughes.

A reminder what Tim Wilson used to think about Pauline Hanson and immigration when he worked for the then pro-open-borders think-tank the IPA: #abc730 #auspol

Over at the other place Amanda Vanstone shared a postcard she got from Christopher Skase, and I can’t stop laughing 😂 #auspol

Is that silly football concert over yet?

Straight people will watch guys chase a ball around all afternoon instead of going to therapy.

Sure why not

On Channel 9 news Melbourne someone drove from Lakes Entrance to Queen Victoria Market just to get donuts. And they say Australia has no culture.

Dave Hughes One Nation candidate for Goldstein any day now.

Just saw a dainty blonde twink driving a bottled water delivery truck down Carlisle street Balaclava.

Just got my flu shot and covid booster. They did them in the same arm. Didnt know that was a thing.

Aged like milk. #auspol

Coalition only 7 points clear of the Greens. Soon they’ll be like the UK Lib Dems - a niche party supported by rich white boomers. #auspol

Governor General Sam Mostyn is going to fly down the Fight MND Big Freeze slide. We’ve certainly come a long way since Sir John Kerr lol imagine him doing that. #auspol

Ok boomer. Stick to going on cruises and getting scammed online. #auspol