this is a horseshoe theory situation where I will also never play CEDH but for completely different reasons, I would rather play a real magic tournament then make a fake fun format try to be competitive

oh my god. I was just leaving the Hong Kong-inspired brunch place while they were serving a British high tea to a table of bougie Americans and the song Royals by Lorde came on the sound system

Dumma doesn't like to smile but Tankatta know how to deal with him 😏 We will see them again for my New Year post 😁

40 is a lot of years

you may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like

I turn 40 in a couple days and today I injured my left thumb while masturbating, AMA

I have completed the director's cut of Mister Catman, which I will post in this thread. if you repost the first verse but not the third you are a coward and you do not deserve to enter mister catman's vat. that's the rules

Hrothgar enforce OSHA regulations

so if Heated Rivalry can get picked up by HBO, what do we have to do to get Out of Position adapted into a TV show by a Canadian media company?

@trinae.bsky.social hewwo uwu

Hawaii is pretty cool but there’s not a lot to do there and it’s definitely time to go home

I got to teach someone about horse tranquilizers today

mister catman, grant me this dream split my hyoid bone to roar and not scream give me four paws with claws so sharp and shiny and make my penis conical and spiny catman, humans are bores oh what a relief to live on on all fours so dunk me in your magic vat mister cat man make me a cat

today I finally wore my Navy Seal waterproof piss play boots into an actual ocean. someone was like “wow those look really good for this” and I’m like “yeah that’s totally why I bought them, definitely sure was”

this is the most Instagrammable place I have been in my entire life

The waterproof boots I bought for horny reasons because they are issued to Navy Seals turned out to be legitimately great for just wearing to the beach, lol

I realize this is going to sound super maudlin when I read this in the morning but I am currently failing to conceive of why anyone would want to spend time with me aside from getting a game made and it’s kind of scary

I think maybe hawaii just wants me to die if it keeps feeding me things that make me sick

I’d like to register that somehow in a miracle of self-control I didn’t self-harm today despite everything and that is pretty cool

*autistic screaming but in cat*

My husband ordered the prime rib at the restaurant tonight but after careful measuring the steak he got was actually divisible by 13, which is horseshit. did they think we wouldn’t notice

It’s a comical joke after recent events that they brought me the steak covered in gorgonzola and cream sauce and not the normal steak that I actually ordered I don’t know what it takes to actually just ask the world for for something and get it anymore

the attached image is both my personal and professional response to today’s Riftbound tournament ticket release situation

Gave my love to a shooting star But she moves so fast That I can't keep up I'm chasing

Not sure how to emotionally process the idea of “you can have a cool job, except it’s only a one year contract, except they’re paying you 1.5x your current salary so it’s actually fair, but then you might never get another job and die broke” someone help me budget this I might starve my family

ok alcohol is cancelled, I didn’t even finish my drink tonight and I still feel like shit

holy dear god that’s some wild professional industry news I just heard

it’s so stupid that I went right back to wanting to punch myself in the head all the time when I didn’t get the cool job offer right away

Blank Space by Taylor Swift is still undefeated for card game tournament playlists

Dear lord may I please always have Watchful Sentry on turn one going first today amen

this is like “what if a horny furry comic were also a Lonely Island song”. Incredible escalation timing here

My secret weapon in life is that I can stay dead fucking serious about things way longer than most people, and I just Keep Showing Up

Shamelessly reposting new Ajani artwork done by Greg Staples for the Magic main story. Because AAAA AJANIII. He looks so good. Christmas came early. See more of Greg Staples' work here: www.gregstaples.com

You must think I’m stupid For chasing a sound For running it down For holding my ground You must think I’m ruthless Impeccably mean But I know what I want It means something to me

hmmmm. The world really felt like it was bending in my direction in November, but I’m feeling more resistance from the universe this month

We just got out of a Ben Folds Christmas concert. In the middle of it he said “Well this song has Christmas in it I guess” and then played Brick

I pissed on all the right trees over the last month and boy have I gotten paid off for it. fuck yeah

Yesterday there were 1225 players and 12 of the people were from my squad. 5 of us made the top 64 cut. If all players were equally skilled this happens only 1% of the time. We had an edge baby

it's really hard to play cards well from 10am to 11pm fuck

pretty sure I got the job btw, huge thanks to my local sparring partner (you know who you are)

Going 3-3 in the warmup tournament stung but I learned some stuff, I guess time to play better today

weekend already a success and I havent even registered for a tournament yet. hell yeah

It’s funny to know that MFF is happening this weekend but I chose a different nerd con to go to

my Riftbound tournament roommate just described Wendell from Fortnite as “right off the cereal box and ready to fuck”

Live look at me walking into the trading card game tournament at the ancient age of 39 years old

about to get on the plane. let’s fuckin go

Settled on a deck for this weekend’s Riftbound World Championship Qualifier in Houston, here we goooo

oh my god the lion with the turkey leg

You cannot fix Pawbert. Do not try. It will end badly

Zootopia 2 had the best opening weekend of any animated film ever and the 4th best of any movie, period. It's the first really amazing Disney animated film in years and the first Disney animated sequel to be as good or better than the original...ever? And it's completely furry We're eating good