Whoever tells you that "Sisu" is the Finnish WW2 John Wick is a liar and an asshole.

God, this app sucks.

Evergreen reminder this 420: No one should be in prison for weed.

Mass surveillance company Palantir just demanded mandatory US military service in a newly published manifesto. Palantir is also currently the recipient of roughly $2.4B worth of military contracts.

Alex Krap needs to be thrown off a fucking building.

When friends hear I'm brewing again

Be the reason someone out there uses social media less.

I hate that people will be skeptical of psychedelics because they associate them with fucking Joe Rogan.

I can't wait to see the look on Patel's face when he gets canned. Actually... I take that back.

"Let's put it on." "Put what on?" "The last suit you'll ever wear."

Hegseth: Booze Patel: Booze Graham: Booze, Cock Don Jr. : Coke RFK Jr. : Toilet heroin Trump: McDonald's Cruz: Cowardice Vance: Furniture Rubio: Coke, Booze, Cowardice

Thank fuck fertility rates are plummeting.

At least now we know what church he never used to attend.

Wang tells Jack Burton that Lo Pan's blinding attack is only temporary. Then Wang splashes disgusting alleyway puddle water in his eyes, which will surely have Jack completely blind by the end of the week.

STOP PRETENDING THAT JOE ROGAN IS AGAINST TRUMP.

This is the dumbest fucking war in world history. There's never been a war this stupid in the movies, that's how fucking dumb this shit is.

🤣

Go ahead, Jesse, live your best life

I came here with my dick in my hand Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass Be cool

RFK Jr when he sees dead raccoon penis

I should get a DUI the way I drive under the influence of rage, impatience, and misanthropy.

Rape academy? You mean Trump University?

More things to burn.

Just bought a new Trump flag.

It is International Bat Appreciation Day. Please take some time to appreciate a bat

But is it flammable

Having the most impossible time mustering the fucks to give about Avengers Doomsday.

One of the greatest episodes of television ever.

Alright, everyone pipe down, #ThePitt finale is on.

JFC. When I was estranged from my mother, she was made homeless in New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina. Fuck these ghouls forever. Set fire to everything.

And now we go to an important message from Secretary of War Pete Hegseth:

That #StreetFighter movie looks like it could be the worst film ever made.

It now takes two boxes of brownie mix to make a batch in a 13x9 pan. Shrinkflation is the biggest assfuck.

I can't stop thinking about #RFKJr browsing the aisles of GNC twirling a set of keys on one finger, and on that keychain is a bright blue-dyed severed raccoon penis like it's his lucky rabbit's foot.

Not with these gas prices.

You don't even want to know what it looked like before I fixed it. #Lunatic

Roses are red This won't be a slowed quip

Made a salad for dinner. Made a cheeseburger for dessert.

LIV Golf? More like DIE Golf, amirite?

The economy is so bad that fuzzy car dice are $9 a fucking pair.

Atheist here, reminding Republicans to not fuck with the Chicago Pope.

And for some reason you're still anti-arson.