people are far too comfortable talking to me about their weight.

Overhearing Conall’s work call, where they are ROASTING him for wearing suspenders while working from home.

rip to everyone whos become delusional after talking to chatgpt but im built different. like actually different. according to chatgpt im some kind of god. the one who decides

instagram should stop suggesting private accounts. if you’re going to make me remember randos from school, it should be a legal requirement to show me what they’re Up To.

Can’t believe she got engaged on a Tuesday (night before an office day, an office full of sw*fties) I barely survived last summer. I don’t think I can do this again.

i want to make a dense little cake, a snacking cake if you will, but i do not want to turn on the oven

actually can’t believe the fireworks are after starting already (shai keeps hiding under the couch instead of hanging out with me)

Taking to Bluesky bc the person receiving this gift is not On Here and I’m just so thrilled with how this little knit turned out! Objectively the embroidery could be cleaner and the snaps are actually too strong so buttons would have been easier but still cute.

this week in PMS - crying bc the vet said Pascal might be part Maine Coon and Maine Coon’s have shorter life expectancies than other cats. I’m sorry but he literally has to live to 20 or else.

euro-country released, grenfell: uncovered on, it’s real ruining my own life o’clock over here. truly the politicians must pay, capitalism must fall hours.

Any democrats who consider the texas flood a "fuck around & find out" moment is ideologically no different than westboro baptist church thinking 9/11 was punishment for new york city allowing fags. although god was not directly named, it's clear you view red states as the biblical nineveh.

thought I had uniquely brutal congestion with this bout of covid, resistant to sudafed spray. turns out I have, in fact, been using the wrong spray all day. no idea how much corticosteroid I shot up there 🫠

Really appreciate when people go to the trouble of ripping open parcels before just stealing them because then sometimes they leave them! And the cats still get their stupid little meat tubes!

Wasn’t sure why my coworker invited me to her birthday, but then I got there and remembered inviting me to a party is kind of like hiring a jester.

Hanging around waiting for my coworker to collect me bc we’re treating this work trip as BYOFan and mine is rather unwieldy to take on a bus. A joy to be staying in college dorms in your 30’s.

might get really into The Chicks again for the moment that’s in it?

Conall, at the Bright Eyes gig just now, turned to me and asked “Did you ever listen to Cursive?” like who the FUCK does he think he married?

I like this photo as an apartment snapshot like……”non-sedentary muslim who watched The Bear” feels like all I’m pulling off these days

still seeing too many father’s day posts. there can’t possibly be this many people who love their fathers. suspicious.

The first leg of our return trip has been significantly delayed meaning we have a very tight connection in O’Hare for our Dublin flight. Was lowkey expecting to be among the few, if not only international transfers, but like half this plane is Europeans going home and we’re all maybe a little fucked

I actually did NOT reward this woman’s wrong opinions with engagement, but I DID yell at Conall about it.

We’ve landed in O’Hare. We sat behind a pig ignorant couple on the plane and I imagined making this image most of the way over

Conall advised me to look over my shoulder at a plane beginning to taxi so I did, then kept talking to him. Sure he’s halfway across the restaurant getting closeups but I’M the autistic one.

A fun part of year 8 in Ireland is that my body now has the same visceral disgust response to seeing the tricolour flying as it does to the American flag 👍🏼

An actual person I know is getting confirmed next month? At 31 years of age? Under an American pope?

not sure there’s ever been a ~good~ week in Newark, but this one does seem particularly rough even by their standards

gotta be the first pope who conceivably has tried malort

Happy wedding season 🎉

on the bus sightseeing (watching people walk out of various doors, hand first, palm up to check the severity of the rain)

my sister has acquired multiple novelty “hot girl” hats and I have no one to talk about it

Genuinely, I think the “justice is punishment” mindset is a big part of how we got to this place. People are extremely willing to be hurt if others will be hurt more. And that’s a necessary precondition for fascism to flourish.

I love investment banking ✨

Conall won’t stop talking about how we’re going to Billings, Montana to look at the tallest freestanding brick building. It’s a hotel. Please guys, I need help distracting him with Nebraska, I can’t drive that far.

Actual conversation with an auld wan today - Herself - “Where are you from?” Me - “Canada” Her - “Ah your English is very good!” *the world’s most pregnant pause* Her, again - “Right, it would be”

This. Folks who are rightfully angry at current immigration policy and suppression of free speech need to listen to what activists have been arguing about criminalization & policing (even the "war on terror) have been arguing for decades, and most recently, since Summer 2020

Watched an Instagram story of a friend getting on the Eurostar and actually threw my head back, said out loud “I wish that was me”

Conall’s getting dangerously close to purchasing fake Nebraska merch from European retailers. I am contributing to this issue by ordering an Adams county license plate from France for a fiver.

Valentine’s Day isn’t usually my shit, but Severance, Yellowjackets, and Love is Blind all on one day? A gift to me, personally.

one thing about my mother? she’s gonna find a wealthy benefactor to fund her endeavors.

sure, it’d be weird if I didn’t.

I love receiving my little Vinted parcels, enjoying the mystery candies the French girlies send me.

Got overstimulated by people buying my stuff on Vinted too fast two hours ago and I still can’t focus on my show 😤 Hate having Weak Brain.

Thank you to Conall for being committed to my dreams (going to Lidl at 9am to acquire the 10kg dumbbell for a tenner)

there’s an old video of my cousins that really embodies Jingle Halal, but it’d be criminal to dub the audio??

TELL THE WHOLE STORY!

Luigi Mangione, huh……mangione…….he ATE

Finally, a perfectly targeted ad

Every day the percentage of english-language tiktok’s on my FYP reduces. And why. What have I done here.

The new iOS passwords app lets you see every WiFi you’ve ever asked it to remember and it is a veritable treasure trove of nostalgia, I can’t bring myself to delete a single one.

my christmas hot take is there should be a different, less fancy box of after eights you can buy where you don’t feel guilty for eating like….5. i’m thinking no little paper envelopes for a start.