I'm kinda exhausted but for the first time in a long while i feel like i'm doing good, funny work (or something close to it) again

Imagining a guy who confuses Kafka and Kapra watching It’s A Wonderful Life and he’s going ‘This guy’s gone to a whole new level of disturbing.’

Get your copy of Star Wars Insider issue 235 today to be among the first to read my latest #StarWars short story featuring a young Rey! 🥹 Insider was the first place I felt seen as a young fan. To give one of my favorite characters a new chapter on these pages in an absolute dream come true.

Every coffee I’ve ever had, I’ve wished there was another 1/3.

🔥🔥

I miss when if you didn’t watch his stupid TV show you didn’t have to think about him even existing.

I think I want Courtney from Spiritbox to kick the shit outta me and not even in a sexual way and I think that would fix me. I will not explain because I do not understand.

Well that was fun. It’s not EVERY day a member of Tool spends 3 hours at your work. Dude was booked for 2 hours, stayed for 3 to make sure everyone in line got to meet him, then hung out chatting with staff after we closed for the day.

Community notes don’t get much more brutal than this

Racist American Evangelicals be like ‘Thou shalt not kill… unless..? 🥺’

This absurd pardon shows the murderous boat bombings were never about stopping drugs

Oh, so this is why the Department of Labor decided to deploy the term bizarre term "Americanism" in its winking neo-Nazi post today

I was just thinking how Goon of Fortune would be a totally different backyard game today compared to when I was at uni.

Australia: Vaccines are literally curing cancer here USA: But what if it makes kids really really like sonic the hedgehog

I love my wife but I’m trying to figure out if I can side-marry Carina Round’s singing voice.

When you think about it, historically and archaeologically, there was once upon a time the very first absolute fuckwit.

i’m not crying you’re crying xkcd: Fifteen Years

found a new image to burn into my personal philosophy

Have you seen this uncanny meme, @davemilbo.bsky.social 🤣🤣🤣

The President of the United States just called for my arrest and execution. In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:

In Australia they changed the line in Requiem For A Dream to ‘Bum to bum’

It’s never a bad time for this meme, but International Men’s Day might be the best time

Every few years I feel compelled to post about the best hotel hack ever, because every time I post about it, it turns out to be new to lots of folks …

Remember that time Trump bragged to a tv presenter that he had a compulsion to sexually assault women, so the presenter got fired?

I dunno how it started but in my class in high school there was a thing where someone would randomly yell out ‘Chunky CHIPS and CHEEEESE’ and I guess what I’m saying is I see you, 6-7

whoever selected the photos for this article deserves an award for photo selection, this is peak photo selection, unsurpassable perfection, all other photo selector people can just get their coats and go home because this selection will never be bettered

Nobody who should fuck off actually fucks off anymore. We're stuck with all these fucking people.

Lincoln called it.

The guy from the "Hit it, Joe!" photoplayer meme is starting his own nonprofit to preserve silent cinema technology: www.latimes.com/entertainmen...

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke history is a fucking joke lmao

‘Pacino’ sounds like a sound Pacino would make.

DAAAAAAAAAMN

When I was 16 there was a movie on SBS which featured two ladies having a romantic nude interlude on a swing in a like a loft, and I wanted to record it for REASONS so I taped it after Les Mis cos nobody else in my family would have put on a video of Les Mis and stayed past the credits.

I found a weird little seal behind me while cooking

I asked Alexa to play ‘Home’ by Dream Theater but it played an edited version. A shorter version of a prog song? Fuck that for a joke.

Indeed, he was allowed to to kill all those children because he is so rich

You reckon it’s time to tax the ridiculously wealthy or what? 🤷🏻‍♂️

“Quick, we need interviews with property investors, banks, real estate agents, landlords and young people with rich parents who are buying them a house.” chaser.com.au/general-news...

I mean, the jokes just write themselves, don’t they

well I for one am shocked that "every aspect of your life gets worse forever and also look at my marble bathroom" did not turn out to be a winning election strategy

Trump is definitely shitting himself right now. And just wait until he hears about the election results!

they straight up smoked the entire political section of the teen vogue after this article jesus CHRIST the billionaires are furious

Japan's "Mundane Halloween" costume contest is back! Each year website DailyPortalZ holds a contest where people dress up as something super duper ordinary. Here's a thread of some of my favorites from the 2025 contest! #MundaneHalloween

Trump is holding a Great Gatsby/Roaring 20s-themed party at his private club in Palm Beach tonight as he tries to withhold SNAP and health care subsidies from millions of Americans. (via Kellie Meyer)

just shared this in a group and realised it’s the anniversary of this absolute s tier tweet by @jon-snow-420.bsky.social

Yeah but can we talk about how fucking good Oingo Boingo was for a minute.