We need to start making a detailed list of everyone who "likes what he's doing" so we can make sure they never run for office, carry a gun, vote, or have children again.

Stephen Colbert on the ICE murder of Renee Nicole Good: “The message from this administration is clear. Only they determine the truth. And when their forces come to your city: obey or die. And if you die, you clearly didn’t obey. This should be an alarm bell for the entire country.”

If you ever think someone's #DND character has a dumb name, I present: Finn McCool en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fionn_m...

@bethanyblack.bsky.social just saw your TMNT "Cowabunga" parody. You deserve a Grammy imho.

#NHL Wow, I basically never heard of this guy, but this is an impressive record. 7 straight years of starting every game. In 1961-62, he recorded a perfect 4200 minutes on ice in the regular season. #respect

Enough's enough, I want a keyboard with fucking buttons. Hjbt and peck sucks (see "hunt" above), and Swipe epicly fails constantly.

Honestly, would you put it past any ICE agent to ask for ID, then chuck the card into a sewer and act like they had no ID? I bet you Ben Stein's money it's happening right now.

Agent Annoying Orange has ushered in an era of sheer chaos, where any country can just seize the head of state of another.

Fighting crime is the pits

The man has negative coattails. He always has.

@greatscott66.bsky.social are you available for comment?

My response to anything over the next two weeks

It's a 2pi + mousse kinda day

A very still & gentle #sunrise in #Ballarat this morning, a golden dawn spilling across Lake Wendouree. Not such a bad way to kick off a day. Right? #photography #iphoneography #landscape

This is why a con man shouldn’t have been allowed to become President! This 👇

Pretty sure death threats are a felony under federal law. Might be an impeachable offense. Too bad the Dems have no balls.

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

Stand back everyone! I'm going to eat yogurt!

#EpsteinFiles Eagerly awaiting another 3-and-out by the Dems with this particular political football

MLB: gambling scandals NFL: sexual assault allegations Olympics, not to be out-done: www.espn.com/olympics/sto...

#LinkedIn Somebody finally said the quiet part out loud. I wonder if this will improve their "impressions" or raise their "clout".

Hi. It's me. I'm here to gently ask if you've been giving yourself grace? Patience? Self-care? You've got this. You are enough, and you deserve all the good things.

Oh no what did I do

Boomers: in my day, things were better! Gen X: in my day, things were better! Everybody tired of the Generation Whatever bullshit: can we ask just stop actively fucking up the future?

Let this be the weirdest thing I read this week, si'l vouz plaît

Jesus Christ, people. Maybe overreaction to the deal to pass a federal budget. SNAP money can be released now. There will be a vote on the ACA. No more performative dancing on the deck of the Titanic.

@scalzi.com is this a scene from Kaiju Preservation Society?

Best one-liner I've heard today, from a YouTube short: "Morale is at an all-time medium." 😄

Let the prosecutions begin . . .

Did Women Run the Workplace?

Who had "extradicted from Dubai" on their #NFL Bingo card? www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...

www.espn.com/espn/story/_... I fing this very disappointing, maybe even a little disgusting. It's not a secret that gambling taints the results of everything it touches. After the Shohei Ohtani incident, and the NBA gambling sweep, and all the talk about the NFL and the KC Chiefs having a script...

America could NEVER have been ready for a President likeTrump

"I could smell the mustard and onions"

Don't make me tap the sign

I stopped knowing all the words to every song on the radio the same month I became a father. Strange coincidence huh.

I think this metaphor fell apart, and no candy fell out

Coffee is motivating not just because of its caffeine but because it is nice, nicer than the news, nicer than the weather, nicer than being yelled at, nicer than the polarised horrors of the internet.

Another Hallowe'en in the books. Goof night, nerds.

Tell me there was a coup, without telling me there was a coup.

Them: act natural Me:

The world needs more Jamesian Christians.

Why does anyone believe him, when he says he got an MRI at Walter Reed? Would you believe him if he said he got a PhD? Or a UFO? Or a BJ?

Don't threaten me with a good time

"Are you ready for me to come get you?"

"I made more tuna, it's in the fridge"