only person at the coffee shop two cars in the parkade, one of which is broken and lives there dark outside and trying to snow most "listening to interpol" ass work day of recent memory

hoping the guy chainsawing the trees in the abandoned lot across the street is just some random guy and this is his grudge with the property or city or whatever.

femke kok is certainly a name. you win again, the dutch.

if they're gonna make a show called titanic sinks tonight and NOT have someone singing that to the tune of 'the lion sleeps tonight' in the advertising for it, why did they even bother

its 1999 and im wearing my new powerpuff girls ringer tee its 2026 and im wearing my new powerpuff girls ringer tee

i will build the boaty boi lego set

out: chatgpt caricatures in: alien face filter on ig stories

the ultrasound technician found that rather than an elbow, my arm contains a demon from hell

if i were an ice dancer my costume would be david byrne big suit and my partner would be lamp

let's use a tragic news story to highlight our very important lines of business. yes.

u can pry my spicy ginger shots from my cold dead hands

im going to eat a cookie the size of my head now

this is what work has turned me into by 8:21 am MT

i got the road trip to camrose AND the actively occurring fire drill canceled today, everything is truly coming up buupy

bad news for everyone: me

even the berman-bot is sportposting

there should be a super bowl ad for the $1.50 costco hot dog

Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/

that was so rad

that hair extension baby would definitely drive her suv into the protected bike lane and then yell at me on my bike about it when she almost ran me over

great day on olympic - there was a skater named farthofer and we learned you shouldn't ski on a torn acl

how your email finds me

nessun dorma sucks lmao

could really go for some fries from eden lake ski chalet in 1989 rn

i was not prepared for chile to be 'cile' in italian

my new headphones have a posh english accent they're definitely going to try to kill me

the way people talk about Shakespeare is so funny. "centuries pass, and it still sings" calm the fuck down

The main bad guy from Robocop is named Bitches Leave

gonna be an expensive round of 'im mad at the prime minister' this week

adopting a new bike for my bday and naming it bichael

happy birthday to my brain which turns 5 million years old every single day

One Perfect Shot -- Weapons (2025)

there were a few patches of dry pavement on the way to work this morning. just a little gift from god to their favourite biking angel, me.

cant believe we have to endure the olympics jfc

egot in being a stupid bitch

only 26 days until fire season wooo

ten years ago today no one clapped

britpop CD cover font

rolled into the office after a couple weeks off and someone has written "i love my chosen work family" across one of the white boards please send help

next time i agree to take a work related course while im on vacation please shoot my carcass into orbit

they killed eddie bauer cos everyone was tired of my stupid little flannel shirts at work i guess

they fired me for googling Jon Arbuckle from the work wifi "you should already know about him"

I’m sorry, this is so funny

someone tell the moon to knock it off so i don't have to be a sunglasses in the house guy

Joe Camel Camel 1974-1997 Created for France by Nicholas Price and Americanised in 1988, Joe epitomised the "cool" lifestyle promoted by tobacco companies. His posters' attractive nature influenced a major uptick in youth smoking, raising further questions about the ethics of cigarette advertising.

the internal medicine clinic told me to get a costco hotdog today