happy to report that this summer im not exclusively dressing like a little capybara guy in a short sleeved shirt

ew i almost sincere-posted when i could've shit talked myself instead. disgusting.

bluesky doesn't even load anymore it just looks at you like this

oh my god (professional, derogatory) also oh my god (entertainment, complimentary)

a public health emergency of international concern? in this economy??

waiting for my e-transfer from the bread price fixing class action like

has anyone ever tried "peanuts" as a snack before. great stuff.

its the time of year when i look like this professionally: ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

keep getting a promoted ad for what i can best describe as some hammerhead leggings

probably one of my funnier (not derogatory) work days in recent memory

Football star Lamine Yamal carries a Palestine flag during Barcelona’s celebration after winning the La Liga title 🇵🇸

watched this on repeat losing my shit for two nights now

im gonna have fun this pandemic really let my hair down

i guess since we're sitting courtside at basketball today the ban on perceiving me is temporarily lifted

another god dam earthquake

at the internists office does anyone want me to tell them anything

fully convinced that 90% of the people at the basketball season ticket reception do not exist outside of basketball events

does alberta have something like a pentagon pizza index

It's gonna be funny when RFK Jr dies in six months of the Black Plague and that's all he's ever remembered for

let me know when minors can smoke cigarettes in the tanning bed, until then im not that impressed

i got one of the donuts with a tiny flan on top of it today. and there was an even tinier cookie on top of the tiny flan.

i rode my folding bike to work today and im pretty sure everyone on the road thought i was a meek small child riding to school lmao

unbothered in my lane throwing halved strawberries in the air and catching them in my mouth

in a better timeline this image forms part of the alberta flag

at the fret gala and it's just a bunch of stinky guitar nerds with weird tuning and shit

maybe my employer could throw a pizza party instead of a town hall for a change

ten years!

silence, forest fire app 🫸 the flooding app is speaking 🤌

its a great day to wear a new outfit and immediately spill both coffee and yogurt on it

do not text me about a 2 hectare wildfire smh im busy merengue dancing to the first trail of dead album in my kitchen

simply nothing better than my cat greeting me by screaming as he runs across the back of the room like a goblin

trying to tell my boss about a developing emergency and he's busy yelling to the gen z office kids about van halen lmao yes i work in a cartoon

🌹 + 👁️

going to rankin inlet to rank things and then to chesterfield inlet to put my feet up and take a rest

i knew snowflake is flocon de neige in french but i was not prepared for how funny it is to see some whiny chud dude get called a flocon de neige

same

live from bitch ass county

the fact that its almost may and i still have to be mad at the neighbors for making noise with their snow shovel instead of making noise with their lawn mower really says something (about uhh society, not about me or whatever)

yes chef 🫡

we cant have anything nice

im at the special weather statement im at the critical flash flood alert im at the combination special weather statement critical flash flood alert

giving myself a RED card for comma usage today jesus christ yikes

apparently la nina is finally over rest in PISS la nina

me reading other people's bike commute posts: this is some of the worst, most annoying content. me posting about my bike commute: haha awesome, good and riveting stuff.

i guess going into countries as unvaccinated plague rats is technically a "war-fighting capability"

hit em with the one-two dissociate during a national call and miss my name being called then forget how to unmute my headset combo 🤜💢

receiving a work-related report on drake's stupid ice blocks lmfao

Synchronicity