The polite, correct way to accept samples at the farmers market. Don’t be rude

. . . it’s been a long fuckin day.

11/20 (bonfire) I never saw you Light the match that consumed us Smoke chokes, like neglect #dailyhaikuprompt

Neurodivergently sipping the cold latte I made 3 hours ago that’s going to keep me awake hours after bedtime so when I wake up tomorrow I’m gonna need a latte that I make and forget about for 3 hours and then I drink it cold and then it keeps me u-

Wow I Did Not Tighten the Cap Fully the Last Time I Used This, an essay exploring why I am currently covered in pistachio milk

From @privateeyenews.bsky.social:

11/18 (ants) You stepped on a hill Covered, you laid in our bed My skin still crawls now #dailyhaikuprompt

Babe wake up Ken Burns just dropped

Guess which song off West End Girl I was dancing to

Finished my cookie, still haven’t put on Go Outside Clothes and I sure as shit ain’t started my mantra yet.

Sunday free time for an hour or two: I could meditate or I could fuck around and take pics in some lovely mid-day sunshine. I’m eating a cookie first either way.

The confusing embarrassing liberating joy of suddenly being unable to use words when words are what you rely on most- •hnngg•

Name an act more comforting than popping the kettle on after getting home from a day of pretending to be normal in public.

“‘No blindfold. No gag,” he says, and I know it’s so he can better observe exactly where I am at every second. This makes me feel both cared for and apprehensive at the same time. It means he will not go easy on me.” Welp. Boom.

Not every day is one where I want to sit down and write. Some day it's hard Be easy on yourself. It all counts. 15 minutes writing down ideas. 30 minutes editing something you already wrote. 5 minutes researching for tomorrow's poem Reading counts. Notes app counts Persistence counts #writing

I loved this prompt and it’s the weekend, so I gave myself an indulgent half hour to draft something. Where do all the leaves go after the fall? #poetryprompt #MPPrompt

Gave myself 10 minutes and this came out. #MPPrompt

Being a mature adult makes me want to throw bricks.

Perfection ✨

What’s left forms the phoenix.

A photographer friend is creating a new portrait series for a show in spring. 2 different looks per person, their choice to express. So in a call with her I blurted out my arc and next week I’ll be shot as a showgirl who can’t force the fake smile anymore and then as myself, naked and vulnerable.

Because these bad boys just got me good, because I’m so ticklish in that spot that I actually laughed, because I wonder if everyone does the syllable counting thing on their fingers when they read a haiku: Peony petals Tickle my lips leaning in Scent their playful lure

Stubbornly healing. I want it tattooed at the tops of my thighs, right below each butt cheek.

“A judge and jury would probably have reasonable doubt.” Some of the most defeating words a woman could hear.

I’m sighing as I slip into a catsuit for my kitten with a whip backup option.

A single tear drops from closed eyes. The meditation wavers and then my face crumples. I went willingly into the dark. I said it was fine and I could see just fine and this is normal, cyclical, and yes of course we want dimmer switches on every wire in our forever home.

I did A Therapy today and it was good. 🧠 soothed. Still hamster. Still on wheel of things I can’t control, but learning oh so deeply about patience, resilience, acceptance. Future Self is out of the cage, so I’m keeping faith in the meantime.

There is a distinct art to making small talk with your laser hair removal tech while you’re both extremely aware that your butthole is being stared at. If I could summon that level of cool casual delusion at will in the rest of my life I’d rule an empire. Instead I need soft clothes and tea.

TW: coercion, emotional abuse I was in a crumbling marriage when I started HRT. At his request, with several other “tweaks” that he thought would ✨fix✨ the fact that I had zero desire for him, dodging his accountability for the reality that his coercion had eroded my safety and sense of self.

This stopped me in my tracks. And when I started again, it was to run to @yourfriendnamee.bsky.social’s website to find offerings and teachings and ways to support.

"You become a light by doing the things that ignite the light within you." unknown #BlueSkyArtShow #inside #photography #MacroMonday #flowers #stunday #onlybeautifulthings #photohour #Bloomscrolling #nature #ImageAndVerse #thelittlethings #EastCoastKin

I don’t want to be the girl quietly fighting her nerves at the end of the bar. But I’ll make myself do it. I don’t want to feel strangers’ eyes on me as I walk in. But I’ll make myself do it. A few deep breaths and I’ll make myself go get in the car. How I wish you were here to make me stay.

Breathe with me.

On a video call with my nutritionist, I proudly tell him about all the tweaks I’ve been incorporating. Eating actual food instead of, not. He’s smiling, nodding - and then the words are straight out his mouth and hanging in the air: “Good girl!” 1st time I’ve been too shy to make VC eye contact.

The Things I Have Given Up: Growing old together The 20th anniversary holiday somewhere sunny and serene The dream home The chef's kitchen The master suite The massive closet The deep soaking tub The king-sized bed Pretending Performing Recoiling Dread The Things I Have Gained: My freedom Myself.

“What do you want to be for Halloween?” . . . a trick and a treat

It’s a hamster wheel on the hardest days. When freedom feels farthest. I’m going to run. If fear is a lack of trust, I’m not afraid. I’m going to wait. My heart will hammer and my voice from the future will rise in my chest. It’s going to end. You’re going to be okay. I’m going to listen.

Meditation, manifestation, setting intentions - I just want to fuck in private and make each other laugh in public. And vice versa.

We remember ancient civilizations for their stories, not their tax returns. And while my personal jury is still out re: happiness leads to creativity, I fully buy in on the scientific fact that creativity leads to happiness. youtube.com/shorts/1tJ29...

This. @girlonthenet.bsky.social hits the nail on the head and JM points out the excruciating exhilarating fact that telling a tale is creative architecture. The final line is load-bearing. I’m not smirking at this analogy, ✨you✨ are.

Sometimes I don’t write unless I’m told to.

The scene is a watercolor. Impressionistic blur for the location, the weather, the time of day. It might be in public, there could be rough approximations of people surrounding us. And yet, at the center, the detail is vividly clear: “We should discuss a safe word, don’t you think?”

Neurodivergent panic when no one’s at the pharmacy counter and there’s a sign that says “please press button for assistance” um no that’s rude I’ll just wait for the rest of my life if need be thanks sorry

Eyes follow me on my way back to our table. You don’t notice. You used to watch and take pride in the lust your creation ignites. But your creation’s haunting you now. A withdrawn ghost. Your teachings were subtle, but eventually I learned that silence floats best over thin ice.

20 years and the loyalty was so strong that even when I hated what you’d become I didn’t know it. You took your time with the reveal, didn’t you? My fingers are purple and throbbing from raking frost out of this cell’s freezer. Better than crying on my knees. But oh how I’ve done that too.

You carry so much weight on your shoulders. Lighten the load, sling my thighs there instead.

At 2:30 in the morning I was extremely amused by “the coming is rapture.” At 3 pm the next day - damnit I’m still amused.

CONSECRATED Tonight I'm feeling it. Dishes are done - doesn't matter. Laundry's clean - doesn't matter. Tomorrow's to-do list is painfully boring and I'm so tired of putting on makeup just to feel like there's nowhere to go. Trapped. Quietly, politely, hope the neighbors don't notice.