Has there been a more pathetic and ineffective leader of the House Democrats in our lifetimes? I can't think of one.

Everything is political

Just thinkin of all the people going to the doctors right now with a serious illness or disease who happen to have diarrhea and are being diagnosed with eating lettuce.

Kash Patel Calls For Public’s Help Using Computer https://theonion.com/kash-patel-calls-for-publics-help-using-computer/

Another tremendous piece of writing from JPB!

My theory is he didnt get the explosive diarrhea himself but it was just the weekly butt he enjoyed eating and THAT dude had traces of explosive diarrhea.

Jupiter in Leo is doin the damn thing!

Not DEI was saving y’all from diarrhea sjfjdkdkd

Sometimes I cant believe How to Get Away with Murder had six seasons cause Annalise Keating coulda just said “be a cop” and rolled credits.

Im convinced white people cant dance cause the part of their brain they would use to memorize moves is being used up by all the racism they gotta remember.

I had to grab my bag on the train and this couple was in the aisle so i said excuse me twice the husband moved and guess who didnt so i bumped into her and she acted surprised? MOVE DEVIL

Overheard a man on the phone say “I may not be smart but I do follow directions” 🤭 God bless that self aware king.

Philly was damn fun last night. DC see you this weekend!! 💩

Guys, someone commented “communist clown 🤡” as a hate comment on one of my stand up clips, and now I think I have the title to my next special????

the concept of a green onion looking like erling haaland,

Wild Cherry Pepsi is a SLUT not a RAPIST!!!

The Wild Cherry Pepsi threads debacle is proof that the woke mind virus is real.

They traced the IP address of the person who started the Pepsi threads fiasco back to the office of Graham Platner to distract people from his allegations. They didn’t but you believed me for a second huh.

This game is pathetic, FIFA definitely didn’t rig this one.

DC & PHILLY UP NEXT

The good news is, now that everyone saw with their own two eyes how corrupt FIFA is you don’t ever have to be sad when your team doesn’t win!

a good friend sees you are on bluesky too early in the morning and gives you a call.

Chest day. Im front to back thick. Chest meat denser than Junior from My Wife and Kids. Might bench press your biggest aunt to let her know she still a dainty queen. Remember Be handsome Be strong Beat they ass the FIRST time they try it

Yall seem worked up about trivial stuff. Did you come today? Last night? This week? Go release some tension and log back in later.

When Mbappe sees that racist womans latest response

Why do people get so upset when I tell them I made something vegan or dairy free like why are you madder than me about my diarrhea ??

My interview: “I came to this country as an infant and became a U.S. citizen,” Roswell Encina said. “So sitting there, on the Fourth of July, I couldn’t help but think about the promise of America and the work still required to protect it.” www.advocate.com/news/people/...

Want a low-interest loan and $20K to buy a home in Baltimore? Here’s how.

And we keep walking cause yall dont want to simply ask for help 😭🫂

Tall people when we notice you struggling with an item on the top shelf

My mom wants a Haaland jersey. That woman loves her some autism.

This game got Knicks in Five vibes

Ive been touring alone as a woman for about fifteen years and male fans STILL invite me over to their HOME for dinner and when I say no I’M the asshole. Love being a woman in entertainment.

My theory on the lack of calls yesterday (if you agree with the rigging theories) is them tryna trick us into believing that the games with Messi & Rapenaldo were not manipulated by refs because “see we missed calls on another legend Mbappe so our refs definitely arent playing favorites we swear” 🙄

DC & PHILLY UP NEXT

Nah I have enough hate in my heart to split between FIFA and Messi equally.

The World Cup is a good reminder that you should never hate the player, hate the corrupt organization.

That lady dgaf what anyone thinks about where shes gettin married all shes thinkin about is how many words rhyme with MSG for example MSG

I cant even stand up straight in the airplane bathroom and I’m supposed to care what every short person thinks when I stand up as soon as the plane lands? Please keep your munchkin opinions to munchkin business.

Detroit - take a break from the heat this Thursday & Friday and come see my dumb ass: www.micdropcomedydetroit.com/events/134331

Detroit - take a break from the heat this Thursday & Friday and come see my dumb ass: www.micdropcomedydetroit.com/events/134331

The best way to beat AI in tv and film is gonna be using people with unique faces. That’s right Ugly Actors it’s gonna be your time to shine.

Many Americans enjoy affordable healthcare the same way they enjoy cheap tickets to see Beyonce - by going overseas.

My first Don’t Tell set just dropped 🤭 youtu.be/CmIiad5MEIQ?...

My first Don’t Tell set just dropped 🤭 youtu.be/CmIiad5MEIQ?...

REMINDER NEW DATES ADDED // ART BY @sinagrace.bsky.social

I realize he’s one of the greatest players but this is all I see when I hear his name

Wait who was surprised that Nate Bargatze is Evil Rory Scovel ??

Imagine you get hired to entertain the leader of your nation while celebrating the anniversary of your country in front of so many proud compatriots and all you can think about is a powerful Black womans vagina that you wish was a dick.