I have to block you if you're saying that people who protested genocide were being paid to do so. Enough. Recover your soul.

Phoenix - this Saturday for Buds A Palooza. Im excited! Use code GIGGLE for $25 tics!!

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Iran's Supreme National Security Council says it has accepted a two-week ceasefire in the war.

Today I learned I can read German

voters elected decadent money man to make them rich, what they've gotten is warmongering fanatic who wants to cut their health care to pay for more bombs

This is why you don't have healthcare.

Lol not me having to announce a tornado watch and potential evacuation at my show tonight chicago you crazy

CHICAGO YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR TONIGHT SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO WAITED CAUSE YOURE GONNA HAFTA WAIT TIL JUNE FOR THE NEXT ONE SO MAY AS WELL GRAB THOSE TICKETS ASAP SEE YALL SOON

If you were wondering how the class field trip went

Chicago folk, go see this insane woman.

Chicago! One week. This is gonna be a silly good time. Stink in bio.

Bank of America agrees to pay $72.5 million to settle Epstein accusers' lawsuit reut.rs/4bCtm2D

I travel for a living and all I gotta say is good for them.

Stats on the number of TSA agents who called in sick at major airports on Weds, per DHS: ATL 40.6% IAH 39.2% MSY 36.1% HOU 31.7% BWI 29.1% JFK 28.9% LGA 24.7% PHL 23.5% PHX 22.8% PIT 21.6%

Chicago! One week. This is gonna be a silly good time. Stink in bio.

I genuinely genuinely don't know what the point of this kind of thing is. Trump is, quite obviously, not making or acting upon some sophisticated geopolitical view. Obviously. Nobody could possibly believe it, it seems humiliating to even pretend to believe it. What does pretending as much gain?

Honestly, fuck off.

Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face

Where the Drag Scam Comedy fans in Chicago?? Thursday's for you!!

The best part of life is having free will and the worst part is that everyone else does too.

Milwaukee you're up next! April 17-18 www.etix.com/ticket/e/105...

I think the most embarrassing recent example was Diane Feinstein, who spent the final year or two in office completely oblivious to the world around her. She almost certainly had dementia. The 40 million Californians she represented deserved someone who could fully commit themselves to the work.

Super excited to be doing this show in Chicago Thursday!!

CHICAGO WE BACK BABY!! New location. Its a celebration. Get tickets.

* U.S. TO DEPLOY THOUSANDS OF ADDITIONAL TROOPS TO THE MIDDLE EAST, THREE U.S. OFFICIALS TELL REUTERS @reuters.com

People don’t realize how stupid they are until they meet their own children.

All tickets aren’t available, some of these are save the dates. So save the date bitch damn!!! More dates to be added soon. Comment if you desperately want me in your city. kthxbaaiiiii

Pay attention to who seeks power and who seeks freedom.

This is why decentralization is so essential for the success and longevity of any movement. We do not need hierarchy to get things done. We need mass solidarity.

Cesar Chavez is just a reminder that one single person should not be the face of any movement. If you are for the people then you should celebrate the people.

When a federal judge (finally) put ICE officers under oath, they admitted that they are given daily detention quotas and rely heavily on a Palantir-supplied AI tool to select targets, without warrants and without enough evidence to obtain one. They simply go into neighborhoods and round people up.

Absolutely awful result in the "antifa terrorism" trial against the Prairieland noise demonstrators. Innocent people convicted under conspiracy statutes because they had zines at home, or wore black, or were in a Signal chat — even those who did not actually participate in the demonstration.

Well this is gonna have a ripple on the nation…

hell yeah! hoping for more @marcellacomedy.bsky.social in season six! ms. alomar hive rise up.

We used to call this stupidity. There were smart people and stupid people and we let the smart people do the things they were good at and the stupid people were taken care of and didn't need to worry about what the smart people were doing. But now we let the stupid people think they're smart.

👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

Imagine being so correct, so beautiful and so eloquent

Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

They bombed a school to remind us that they don’t just rape girls they also love killing them too.

People will be like “in my villain era” and its just them finally having enough self esteem to tell people no.

the Erie County Sheriff’s Office who originally arrested and beat this man requested $428 million from Erie County to build a new jail complex, even though current buildings aren’t near capacity. They also got two new helicopters even though they can’t afford to outfit them. Defund the police.

Chicago gets a new Spanish open mic tonight. Check it out.

Be nice to our senile coke heads.

Chicago gets a new Spanish open mic tonight. Check it out.

Trump makes me wonder what it’d be like if we gave all elderly people cocaine.

This guy gets it.

I hope these messages Alysa is trying to get out here are hitting athletes who need to hear them, but I hope they’re hitting coaches & parents & admins even harder