Its forever funny that people are mad at the free concert that played at the sports event.

Don’t let a data center consume more water than you today.

Yep

I know he don't play about his red stapler

Idk how democrats think theyre better than homeless people when theyre also just sitting around doin nothin but beggin for money.

Republicans sure are worried about undocumented people when they should be worried about the people on that very well documented list.

Welp we’ve officially gotten to the part of dating men where you just have to be glad he’s attracted to adult women.

In an interview with NPR, Melinda French Gates confirmed that she ended her marriage with Bill Gates because of allegations contained in the Epstein files.

Wow I thought we were livin in a meritocracy turns out it was a pedocracy the whole time.

I wonder how many false reports of ice activity is just a bunch of out of shape dudes loitering in a parking lot.

She trying to “I’m just a girl” running a fascist police force

Breaking NBC: Family members of two Trinidadian men who were killed in a U.S. boat strike in October have sued the U.S. government — accusing it of wrongful death and extrajudicial killings. The lawsuit is the first of its kind to be filed against the Trump admin.

😏

Crazy how I support local rap until its being recorded in the apartment below me

I know we’re all pissed and doom scrolling online but it’s tax season so please remind the older folks in your life that the IRS will never ever contact them via phone calls or emails - those are scams. The IRS *only* contacts people through the USPS. Okay that’s all go back to doomscrolling!

It was never the slogan that was the problem. It was the ask. Most people can't imagine a non-police state. That's why they don't recognize that we have been in one their whole lives.

A ban on sending books and magazines to prisoners in Arkansas prisons goes into effect Feb. 1, putting into place the strictest regulations in the country on sending outside publications to the incarcerated

ICE agents fled from the crowd and left behind their CONOPS battle plan for Minneapolis, including agent's names, hotel rooms, phone numbers, boxes of license plates, and tac radio frequencies.

All these men not helping in the ice kidnapping videos are just putting their own spin on the idea of women and children first

Honestly glad he said this. They are celebrating the murder, they are saying the murder is good and they want to make sure other members of ICE know that "shoot first" is appropriate and acceptable behavior. Not an ounce of an apology. They are happy it happened. So now what?

i post this every year and will forever

The good news is 2026 is gonna be great because everyone had a hard 2025 which taught people what actually matters to them so everyones going into this year with optimism by default. Happy New Year!

"The president of the United States is a pedophile who can't stop bleeding" sounds like something you'd tell your kid to keep them away if you lived on the border

A joint investigation by ProPublica and FRONTLINE identified more than two dozen cases of immigration agents using "less lethal" weapons in ways that appear to flout the government's own rules, including by aiming at someone’s head, spine or groin or deploying chemical agents near children.

I used to overdraft when I was courting my wife when I was in college but that’s just me. I was built different.

Hot tip for young comedians: January is not the month to hit mics. Take a fucking break. Let the new years resolution newbies get all their energy out. You need a break! Plan better and hit it hard in February. 🫡

I just realized that my older standup special is available for free (with ads) on Tubi! A lot of my favorite old bits are on it, plus some real weird stuff I came up with while doing Zoom shows in 2020!

My beautiful friend, a nurse, died at 31 last night. Her cancer treatment was delayed because a visitor did not wear a mask and she became terribly ill for weeks with the flu or COVID and following infections. If you're wearing a mask, thank you.

In case you needed one more reason not to use AI … The CEO of ChatGPT is blaming a teen’s suicide on his failure to follow the terms of service: Adam Raine, 16, told ChatGPT he was suicidal and the AI bot told him his feelings were valid and even provided suggestions and detailed instructions.

every time i take a peek at threads i immediately read the dumbest thing ive ever seen in my life

He was trying so hard to be gentle which made it cut deeper.

Wishing you all a week of not arguing with complete strangers online because boo what is you doooooin get a grip and hold onto it for the entirety of the new year

I hate a bald face, unnecessary ass liar. Just lying to lie, aint no entertainment value to it or nothing, just a boring, lying ass waste of time. And their breath always stank.

if they had just shown it on 60 Minutes nobody would have seen it

that bernie impression comes outta nowhere

WATCH: Here's the segment CBS News pulled from "60 Minutes" last night

Found the actual men in women's bathrooms assaulting women.

Leak ! Leak ! Leak ! Leak ! Leak!

It's a whole genre it's beautiful

I’m on today’s episode of Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me on a panel with Hari Kondabolu and Paula Poundstone! Peter and Bill and the team were a joy to work with as always! Rhea Seehorn was an amazing guest! Pluribus! It’s good!

Some days I worry about my career and other days I’m glad I don’t have to break my jaw to stay relevant.

Maria has been accused over the years of fabricating her story that she had gone to the FBI. After finding the document in the trove, I called her. She broke down in tears. “I’ve waited 30 years. I can’t believe it. They can’t call me a liar anymore.” www.nytimes.com/2025/12/19/u...

Therein lies the rub: AI cannot have “ideas” of its own. Every “idea” you thought AI had came from a person, either through prompting or theft. The way to jumpstart the “idea machine” is to have people focused less on survival and more on living passionately.

Breaking news: The U.S. labor market lost 41,000 jobs over October and November, and the unemployment rate ticked up to 4.6 percent, the highest since 2021, underscoring concerns about the strength of the economy.

whoever is writing reality lately is really getting heavy-handed with it. no subtlety at all

It's always the most obsessed anti trans people who get caught with CSAM.

"My wife thinks you're handsome." She also thinks you're handsome so i'm not flattered, in the least.

I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television

WOMEN CRUSH WEDNESDAYS NEXT WEEK IN LA LETS GOOOOO Yes, I made this with magazines and slapped a filter on it cause nothings better than my own two hands. You know what else AI will never replace? Live performance. Come see us. You know where the link is.