just ate lunch 👍

Are you kidding me? This team would be the 1 or 2 seed in the East any year

I used to know what a logarithm is

Happy birthday to Earth, born this day 6000 years ago

Virginia : that's right take this blue godzilla dick MAGA : omf ufhlahflhfhlhafhl :(

shoes powered by AI

Can we get 10,000 RTs for this

@paddypadman.bsky.social happy birthday or whatever (?)

foot fetish guys are lack toes intolerant

I do not and will not know what a "steering committee" is

It appears Rutgers has not spread the gospel of NCAA football to its home city of New York

Lyin' eyes lionize lion eyes

(trying to come up with a take that will infuriate everyone) Lin-Manuel walked so Bad Bunny could run.

Say what you will about the Browns, they've never lost a Super Bowl

I accidentally hit the make new post button. I don't have anything to say but I don't know how to close out of this either without typing something

Amnesty and automatic citizenship for anyone in the US at 12:00pm on 1/20/29 (if desired) $5m to families of anyone abducted by ICE New court circuit for prosecutions outside SCOTUS purview Minneapolis Trials

👍

I think the devil kicked the shit out of Johnny in that fiddle duel

Not sure how you take a nap on a bus route with three stops

@damonagnos.bsky.social Chief Justice Roberts, Chris Douglas-Roberts. Chris Douglas-Roberts, Chief Justice Roberts

what does the transportation secretary do after he washes his hair? Sean Duffy Combs

got fired my first day at a job when they said describe yourself in three words and I said "good drunk driver." got fired from my next job on the first day when they said describe yourself in three words and I said "bad drunk driver." What do they want from me

some lady cut me in line for a roller coaster at the line entrance. An hour later when we got to the station a bird shit on her which would have been me if not for her treachery

the Random Tuesday Off is pretty disruptive. I would rather have a Monday off. Or, heck, a Friday!

Using one of these for the first time feels like reaching some sort of terrible life milestone

Circumstances are my favorite thing to extentuate

seems like it's about time to submit a new post

The Coldplay frontman's side project where he sings about English gardens with his bandmates' mothers is Chris and the Mums

Starting to think conducting the Stanford prison experiment on the whole country wasn't an awesome idea

I like to preheat my oven right before going to bed so that it's nice and warm when I get up the next morning

:/

learn to chiaroscuro

ICYMI - we found out FCS Mercyhurst has one of the hardest non conference schedules we’ve ever seen. They’re traveling to Youngstown State, Sac State, Montana State, and South Dakota State in five weeks.

Trixie is in the hospital fighting an autoimmune response that is causing her blood not to clot. She will be staying overnight with hopefully a better prognosis tomorrow. We spent 6 hours with her at the vet and are really scared right now. Good vibes please.

Biblically accurate Sk8r boi

most pets are incels

Had a fun time at the ER this morning getting treated for something gross. Would visit that one again if I had to buy hopefully I don't.

Me laughing at the fall of Shedeur Sanders: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me seeing where he ends up: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck

(Obama voice) you couldn't make Austin Powers today!

just watched that episode of black mirror where technology was scary and it made humans do wild shit. You guys seen that one

My job is I'm the guy who writes shit like this

I feel like I've been told the dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago my whole life. You'd think it'd be up to 66 million years ago by now

An easy way to remember what kind of animal a camel is by remembering that it rhymes with mammal

my friend saw an incredible garbage truck today

The key to a good NCAA bracket is to fill it out during the Final Four or later. You can get a lot more picks right that way

dont look like elon to me

I would be a really effective maga guy because I get righteously pissed off at something different everyday for no reason already