Happy Rapture day to Debbie Harry only

to the person whose phone number is one typo off from mine: sorry about the confirmation texts. i promise i’m not trying to steal your identity/money/anything else. i am just incapable of typing my own number.

very interesting to have a rapture on bisexual visibility day.

me: i’m going to take a break from writing novels and write this time travel novella idea! me five minutes later: okay so i want to work on this novel…

I have taken the Tylenol that was in the medicine cabinet and which they think probably is the reason you like trains forgive me but that’s bullshit you got autism from your dad

wait, did they reinstate jimmy kimmel because they think they’ll all be raptured and it will be someone else’s problem?

boycotts work. pressure works. these guys have nothing if we don’t let them control us.

happy birthday to autumn and the best internet writing of probably all time!

so i finished reading somewhere in time (loved it) and was thinking about the original title, bid time return. is it a reference? of course it is, and of course it's shakespeare. lol. why do i ever bother wondering? it's always shakespeare.

reading about men’s fashions in the 1910s for secret reasons and really thinking hard about hats.

i just borrowed richard matheson’s novel bid time return (retitled somewhere in time after the adaptation) and i’d forgotten what a mimic he could be in his prose style. i’m not sure what (or who) he’s doing in this one, but it’s very choppy narration, stream of consciousness but in fragments.

it is my most deeply held belief as a copy editor that if you write a sentence that plays with the opening line of pride and prejudice you must use the jane austen commas. (it does not escape my notice that i used no commas here, but i was not attempting to emulate that sentence.)

i cannot do the “nobody wants to [song lyrics] anymore” meme because the one i thought of is dirty and i’ve had a mild attack of prudishness (not to mention concern for my mentions).

i swear to god, if i see one more person post the deeply unserious “first they came for the talk show hosts,” as if we aren’t about twenty marginalized groups into this poem already!! you can defend free speech without being a piece of shit! try it!

dreamed i sold a story to otherside, a magazine that has not yet launched and is not open for submissions. but! i did sell a story to weird horror yesterday, six months after it was rejected. that was wild!

just remembered that i briefly worked at gap kids. i had completely forgotten. i had just moved to chicago and was desperate for work—so broke that i had to go to a payday loan place for my first couple of paychecks. i took phone call in the break room from a temp agency and got my job at usa today.

i love this so much.

i’m starting to worry that things aren’t going to work out for any of the characters on alien: earth.

the other day while i was in the depths of despair and trying desperately to find a reason to get out of bed, i decided that i need to knit a realistic chicken as soon as possible. unfortunately this means i have to go through my yarn stash to find the perfect chicken colors. oh no. how terrible.

Thinking of you @noirbettie.bsky.social 😘😆

i always write a pitch before i write a book. this is partly so i have something to text my friends like “???” and for them to reply “i need to read this YESTERDAY,” but it is also to make sure i know what the book is about and whether it’s a book-sized idea.

i only read the push notification for my usps informed delivery email, but i am pretty sure it says i have an envelope coming from “the check is in the mail” and let me tell you, i will be very upset if it doesn’t contain a check made out to me with no strings attached.

today is the first day in a week and a half when i’ve had absolutely nothing i have to do, so guess what my brain decided! that’s right, to feel bad about myself. yay.

there are three separate events i’d like to attend on saturday, and i will be going to none of them because it’s also my son’s bestie’s birthday party.

My story is out in Small Wonders today! “What was supposed to happen was this: on the faire’s opening day, Princess Lilaclaire would visit the pond, kiss a frog into a prince, share a candy apple with him to test their true love, and live happily ever after.” Read to see what actually happened…

i have a rental car for a few days and i would like you all to know that the first thing i did was connect my phone and play mmmbop.

i need to be somewhere in twenty minutes, i’m not dressed, i’m still sucking down coffee. why are mondays.

los angeles has several varieties of hummingbird, but the main two are anna’s and allen’s and my feeder exclusively gets allen’s. we have one male bird whose copper feathers are exceptionally dark, like i thought they were black and my husband thought deep red, but they are copper! very dark copper!

TRANS VS THE WORLD

omg remember when i spent like a full year talking about nothing but steven universe?

Exciting news for local Portland OR area knitters. in 6 weeks I'll be opening a pop up shop in downtown Milwaukie at @spokeandwordbooks.bsky.social that will go through the holidays! Hopefully this will be successful enough to have a yarn shop in downtown Milwaukie for the long term.

had to add a new word to my mute list today.

i’m in a cvs for covid and flu shots and they have every damn thing in the store locked up, so every two seconds a robot voice announces to the whole store that customer service is needed in [pain relievers, stomach remedies, cosmetics, ad infinitum]. it’s almost like this system is bad!

i don’t know why i’m seeing discussion about whether drummers are incels but i just wrote a novel with a drummer love interest so please everyone be cool.

in retrospect, there’s probably never been a name as threatening as “America Online”

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms. ‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms. But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.

to be clear, i wasn’t a klein until we got married.

it is 9am and i’ve already done three things on my to-do list. i don’t even know who i am.

oh my god we did it y’all. it is actually for reals friday. i checked.

chappell roan and i should be best friends because the abbey was also the first bar i went to in LA. i, however, never went back because (and i cannot stress enough that this was 25 years ago) a cosmopolitan cost 8 american dollars and that was OUTRAGEOUS. so probably we should remain strangers.

i had to make FIVE phone calls today.

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL DIRECTOR (by me, writing as Hazel Graves) is out today! 💍 ⚰️ 🥀 If you're after a bonkers romcom full of laughs and magical shenanigans, I have you covered. Happy reading! harpercollins.co.uk/products/fou... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DK8L8BHV #booksky

lol

yesterday i went to a jeopardy taping and someone in production asked me to take off my n95 for when the camera sweeps the audience. i said “…no?” and then i didn’t do it. and nothing bad happened! so: try saying no more. it’s good practice for the fascism.

good morning, in the last fifteen minutes i have found two abandoned knitting projects that i have no memory of. this is in addition to the many abandoned knitting projects (of which i have varying degrees of memory) i’ve already stashed in the two trunks that hold my yarn stash. oh dear.

every monday night i think, “thank goodness this week is over” and every tuesday morning i think, “finally, it’s friday,” and somehow i am never correct, which is awfully disappointing.

My take on literary fiction as a professor of literature is that literary fiction is a myth.

i left my house (unheard of) and am in a bar (i don’t drink or take off my mask indoors) but my oldest* friend in the world is about to play some music and even i couldn’t get in my own way enough to miss it. *she is younger than me, but i’ve known her since 1991

in case you guys want to help me get my numbers up, here's my youtube channel! Though it's empty now (save for some video game trailers for games I made), tonight I'm going to turn this into a #horror and #darkfantasy in publishing channel, with the first ep tonight at around 9pm

we’re gonna pregame halloween tonight with a bucket of blood, which i’ve never seen. i am very excited.