Keith R Sutherland

I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.

Hold the fuck on. Christmas is NEXT week?!

It's full-blown Jihad between the Toyotathoners and the Hondadays folk. As a Kia-wanzaa celebrator, I just want the bloodshed to stop.

Asssss to assssssssssss

I use my bidet all bnight long

The coolest thing I'll ever print with my 3D printer is this tumor inside my head

We have very different definitions of "better"

If you can't handle me at my Monster Energy Original, you can't have me at my Monster Energy Zero Ultra White

Doom-scrolling has been replaced with doom-looking-for-things-to-3D-print

Disappointing Meal Makes for Disappointing Leftovers. More at 11

I can't wait to get started 3D printing useless shit

The season is now: Plague of Ladybugs

The official Jeopardy YouTube channel posted a compilation of Alex and Ken saying "these nuts" youtu.be/_3YVvnMFvXM?...

I'll probably catch this on Hulu the next day so I can fast-forward through the boring parts. You just know they're going to drag it out like an American Idol finale.

My favorite genre of meal is brown frozen air fryer platter

A giant knot looks very at home on Matt Smith's forehead #CaughtStealing

Haunted Hayride Makes Extra-Spooky Turn Onto Interstate

People who put their entire email in the subject line and then leave the body empty

You have a 3 monitor setup. Which monitor do you make your "main" monitor in Windows?

Do I look like I know what a JPEG is?

Day 3 of my caffeine cleanse: not as bad as I expected but still a flaming hellscape

Nice try KISS, but killing Ace Frehley isn't going to make me listen to your music voluntarily

Of all the ways to die, burned alive on an exploding AliExpress electric scooter seems like a winner

I skipped the whole Stanley trend and went straight to being an Owala cool guy

I just now noticed the gun on this album cover

Finished my first playthrough of Silent Hill f last night and I still don't know what the f stands for

I think about this comic almost daily (credit to Extra Fabulous comics)

Me when I get in a shy bladder standoff with another guy at the urinals

Why doesn't my pajama onesie have pockets? Where am I supposed to put my keys?

The only excuse I hear the right-winged people in my life making right now is "it's horrible on both sides" which is complete and utter bullshit.

Cholesterol too high? That's nothing three hotdogs for lunch won't fix...

Curse these deep veins!

My wife likes to ridicule me for the size of my balls

Me at 26: I shaved my balls for this?! Me at 36: I shaved my ears for this?!

They always clip the umbilical cord too soon in movies

If you're ever out exploring and see a big wall of fog, go into it. Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen

Just doing man stuff today. Currently at Home Depot getting some wood cut because I AM A MAN.

Dying for them to turn our water back on. I miss my bidet and I'm running out of my grandma's vintage hand towels.

The best thing about being a parent is definitely the shitty diaper snakes we get every couple of weeks

I really hope I don't have to go in to jury duty tomorrow

RIP Robert Redford. Robert Bluehonda and Robert Greenchevrolet better watch their backs. #awfuljoke #imsad

Nothing can make me Shit™ like a Monster Energy™ drink (compliment)

What does Mr Rogers do for a living? He comes home in the morning and trades his suit for a cozy sweater. And then at the end of the day he puts his suit back on and heads out. Does he have a secret family?

People are all up in arms about import tariffs, but why is nobody drawing attention to the fact that days are very quickly getting shorter. I don't have any time to do anything anymore!

CCH Pounder. Prolific actress or the new sandwich from Wendy's?

I can empathize with the toddler's desire to crush everything in my hands

Always good to see your previous employer's stock price jump 25% the day after you're laid off

In retrospect, working in Identity Management with imposter syndrome is kind of hilarious

Post a random picture, or else everything will go bad in September