Time to update your cooker time

Just learned that ICE had to shutdown their illegal immigrant tip line because 80% of the calls were to report Elon Musk. F for respect ❤️

It's outstanding the similarities between Trump and Michael Scott. Good Lord! 4 years of buffoonery

This fraud gets into power tomorrow

Forever guilty on all counts.

Kendrick didn't make the cut this year. #spotifywrap

Turquoise pool hot spring in Yellowstone NP, WY.

If you’re seeing some glitches today, it’s growing pains from scaling up so quickly! Thanks for bearing with us.

Man City's last 5 outings

Spurs are slaughtering the cityzens

The trump maga cult should be labeled as a domestic terrorist group.

ACLU has filed a lawsuit seeking details on Trump’s plan for mass deportation.

🌎: Are you smarter than a 5th grader? 🇺🇸: know

All groceries go from the vehicle to the house in one trip. It does not matter how many bags there are

We beat fascism before, and we will do it again.

I'm probably out of the loop here, but why does the Trump admin want to shut down the department of education?

MAGA’s objective is to make any decent person’s life as miserable as they can. Carry on and avoid them.

Grammar is important. Capital letters are the difference between "helping your uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse"

Sharing a beautiful sunset 💖

It's funny how after an argument is over, you start thinking about more clever shit you could have said

We lost our way when we stopped calling it “surfin’ the ‘net”

Why is patience a virtue? Why can't hurry the fuck up be a virtue?

I posit that debates aren't changing anyone's voting choice but rather for our amusement

Every 157 years, the planets align, on the no4 bus, to East Kilbride.

The first one to get angry loses.

This guy clocks

getting more questions about what federation is, so here's another ELI5. Federation is that feeling you get with the first sip of coffee or when you put on a comfy sweater. it's that autumn breeze that signals the changing of the seasons. it's the flutter of a butterfly's wings as it shakes the dew

saw people posting on twitter about bluesky being down instead of the other way around this place has the juice

Staying angry is a waste of energy

Let’s talk about how we use invite trees to track spam bots on Bluesky 🧵:

When offered a beer, accept it even if it's not "your brand." Your favorite brand of beer is "free." Your second favorite is "cold."

Luck favors the prepared

Nothing looks more badass than a well tailored suit

My heart goes out to the people of Morocco🇲🇦

Gentle reminder; always carry cash

Thought I'd share this as opposed to my cliche "hello world"