Bring back proper blurbs at the back of books. Nowadays, the back of a book is just quotes from celebrities who've been paid to praise it. That's not helpful when I'm trying to decide whether to buy it. I want to know what the book is about.

I hate that this is probably accurate. 😔

There isn't a single piece of written word whether literature, poem, text message, advertising or song that can't be improved by reading it in the voice of Miss Piggy.

Long works of literature need to have a special index at the back showing the page number when each character was introduced. Otherwise you're thumbing backwards trying to remember who this person is in this huge book you've been reading for weeks.

Steve Hackett clearly has a portrait of Phil Collins in the attic. Only possible explanation.

Blimey, that's the first draft of book 2 done!! In a far saner amount of words than Closure May Never Come too. My first fantasy novel should be published in early 2027, which is nice.

In 𝘛𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘴 𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘯, the first book of the 𝘎𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘵 trilogy, Lord Sepulchrave's response to the destruction of his library is to go insane and believe that he is one of the death-owls that live in the abandoned Tower of Flints. This is a literary example of an underreaction.

Thinking about it, sign language is a form of interpretive dance.

Nothing screams 'the algorithm is shit' like seeing April Fools jokes on the 9th.

An amazing evening chatting to @benaaronovitch.bsky.social at the @britishlibrary.bsky.social — a big thank you to everyone who came, the amazing organisers and team at the library, and to @pddoling.bsky.social for this photo! Let’s do it again sometime. 😁

I'm not hating #F1 in 2026, even if Ferrari are still insisting on running their strategy using a mouse in a maze.

Potatoes are covered in eyes & sprout tentacles. Potatoes are technically Shoggoths.

Public libraries should grow in number and size in proportion to an area's population. New housing is great but only if there's also a public lending library with a good stock of books, journals, music, and tools. And librarians. It's not a library without librarians.

I am a novelist. I have published both decent and bestselling work. All of my bestsellers were written while I was drunk and depressed. Since I've been sober and happier, I've not had a single bestseller.

Hey @showcasecinemasuk.bsky.social , if I'm seeing a 3D film, especially if I'm paying nearly 50 quid to see it in the TIP gallery, I'd kind of assume the glasses were INCLUDED IN THE TICKET PRICE!!! Even mentioning in the booking that they're not would help!!!

Closure May Never Come is available now from Amazon & makes a wonderful Christmas gift for the reader in your life. --- Perfect for fans of Stephen King's Bag of Bones, Mike Gayle meets H.P. Lovecraft in this genre-spanning, gothic-tinged tale of love, commitment, and paranormal suspense.

#christmas #hellraiser

HAPPY R̶E̶X̶ ̶M̶A̶N̶N̶I̶N̶G̶ LAUNCH DAY TO ME!! Closure May Never Come is now available for purchase from Amazon & pddoling.com . Launch discount applies on Kindle & via the website until 1st December. The reviews so far have been excellent so get out there & BUY! BUY! BUY!

How cute is my new office assistant‽‽

Today is a sad day. It appears that the gremlins in my PC keyboard have finally sabotaged it to the point of no return. 😔 Nothing seems to last these days; I only bought it in 2002!

Read the books.

The fact that Kathy Bates can portray so much powerful emotion & speak so much without words in the AHS: Coven episode when SHE'S LITERALLY JUST A FUCKING HEAD takes the piss & is unfair on all other actors. #kathybates #americanhorrorstory

Dear Southeastern. I know it's a nice day but perhaps don't set the air con to 'polar' when people are dressed for summer!! 🥶

Catching up with #WWE #summerslam . There was a #Maybelline ad featuring nikki, zelina, tiff, & bianca. The tagline being '4 lash icons, 1 lash legacy.' THEY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THE SUPERSTAR LITERALLY CALLED LASH LEGEND‽‽‽‽ COME ON!!!!!

DEAR @ticketmaster.com , I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK AROUND WITH THREE DIFFERENT APPS, JUST SEND ME AN ACTUAL FUCKING TICKET IN THE POST. (& not a 'souvenir' one which costs an extra fiver & arrives three months after the event). #TICKETMASTER #tickets #gigs #livemusic

THEY SAID I WAS MAD! THEY SAID I SHOULDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT IT! THEY SAID I COULDN'T TEACH A LLAMA TO DRIVE! They were right. 😔

At the end of May, we're putting on @terrypratchett.bsky.social 's Maskerade. The show is looking fantastic & I'm excited to put it in front of an audience! Tickets are now onsale & the bar is being stocked so come along & enjoy yourself, just don't try to book Box 8!! #discworld #maskerade

🤣🤣🤣

Williams mechanics... #australiangrandprix #f1

All HP Lovecraft stories begin like “I will try and relay the events as best as I can manage, though what I encountered that September night may not be able to be expressed in human language, nor be comprehended by the human mind” and then the story boils down to ‘I saw a building that was large’.

Ooh another social media for me to post on once then forget the existence of! See you in a couple of years, I guess.