Here’s my Substack for today.

I bet Pete Hegseth would let the Tate Brothers enlist, if they wanna.

My new one today explores the relationship between stupid nerds and their big feelings about leftists.

The best way to get to the bottom of the McConnell question is for the governor to appoint a replacement. The GOP legislature passed a law stripping him of that power, but it goes against the state constitution. If they refuse to seat the replacement, take them to court. There’s zero downside.

Today’s Substack might be a little personal to me.

Just got my first paid Substack subscriber. Don’t know how to feel about something NOT feeling like a slap in the face. I do love this feeling of gratitude, though, and wouldn’t mind feeling it a lot more.

I’m allegedly a writer. So that means I write, I guess?

Back on my meme making shit cuz why the fuck not?

Today’s writing prompt:

It’s my personal pet theory. #stephenmiller #ice

Who knows this killer???

Every ICE Agent is a Nazi.

All in all, a pretty good eulogy.

My piece on Lindsey’s death.

🤞🤞

Really gonna need people On Here to start taking little wins when we get them or else we are not gonna make it. Any champion athlete who opts out of going to visit Trump in the White House for any reason is good. Please stop searching for reasons to be miserable.

If those snowflake bitches thought it was mean to quote Charlie Kirk, they’re gonna absolutely hate what I have to say about Lindsey Graham for the rest of my life.

I hope the closet in Hell is as comfortable as can be for ol’ Lindsey.

Today, I wrote about a subject with unending depths to plumb — the stupidity of MAGA.

Marco Rubio: "Let me explain this in simple English: Iran is run by lunatics, religious fanatic lunatics.” That statement would have so much more gravitas if Rubio's own country wasn't also run by religious fanatic lunatics.

After a months-long occupation, Minnesota is still recovering from a retribution campaign waged by the federal government. Now, Minnesota stands with Houston in demanding accountability for the fatal shooting of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo. This bloodshed cannot be normalized.

Even though I’m very used to being grossed out by my country, today’s Substack is about a feeling I’m having right now.

GOOD

A new thing I wrote today that you can read if that’s your bag.

Boring shit for boring broken brained buttholes. My newest.

Allow me to give Grant the advice his own conscience didn’t give him when he and his victim needed it most: JUST. PULL. OUT.

Today’s Substack is about letting Mitch take his time while apartment hunting for the afterlife.

Please clap for episode #23 of the podcast I do with the high-larious @zachmillerdawg.bsky.social

Here’s a new thing I wrote today.

Wrote something today for the occasion. Read it if you wanna.

Please consider reading my latest Substack.

If Mitch dies, can he still proxy vote from Hell?

Que Trumpo, Chingadoro.

The Supreme Court Gives Donald Trump Full Control Over the Executive Branch, Except the Part of It that Impacts Their Retirement Portfolios

The Supreme Cunts

Congress has the power to do pretty much whatever it wants with the Supreme Court. It can expand the membership of the court, and it can punish it in several ways too. We simply need to fill that Congress with a Democratic majority that has the will to use that power.

the way it works is that if i say, "i'm a black american," sam alito thinks that is "dividing people up by race." but if someone says, "get that jigaboo out of my country," alito thinks, "looks like nothing to me"

Bravo, sir

by Chris Britt

by Rick McKee

Truth tastes better than bullshit. But what do I know? I just have tastebuds.

“I think they’re saying ‘Boo-onald Trump,’ sir.”

The news calling Simone Biles an NFL wife is the most small dick,misogynistic, flaccid penile dysfunctional energy ever. Grow up chode

Bari Weiss is a Nazi who disguises herself in concerns about antisemitism. That’s the post.

I wonder if he’s tried crying about it.