People take jokes way too fucking seriously theory holding up.

Oh, I know. A lot of us do.

Honestly you could just claim exempt and see if there are any auditors left at the IRS. 😁

Yeah, but like, why don’t we all just change our W-9’s and claim to be tax exempt? Just asking.

🔥 SPRINGSTEEN: "I’m here to support Stephen Colbert, the first guy who lost his show because a president can't take a joke - and the Ellisons feel they need to kiss his ass… small-minded people with no idea what freedoms of this beautiful country are supposed to be about." 🇺🇸

I always forget how happy we must keep the Garchs.

If not the point, an extremely acceptable byproduct for them, for sure.

So you’re saying it would just make what they want to have happen happen faster.

These are the existential crises that laws against bribery and emoluments were written for. And alas…

Weird because in the form of Christianity I was forced into, the main character kept saying shit like “give money to the poor.”

I think it is, but I don’t think the plutocrats controlling our country do.

We need to make concessions on this - we'll let Trump never get audited as long as he never leaves his new resort Alk-a-traz

Especially since Trump has set a precedent for using our tax money for political payouts to criminals and foreign countries instead of the services we had in place to help Americans in need.

Me? I’m more terrified about a conman stealing billions from us with the help of our government that’s supposed to be stopping him.

Why should any American pay their taxes? If the President can get a lifetime pass on tax fraud, why can’t we?

Eat the rich, sure, but I bet Bezos tastes like burnt asshole.

The American Dream: Ransacking the Capitol, trying to off the VP *you* elected, going to jail, getting pardoned by the rapey BFF of the most notorious p*dophile in human history, and then getting a piece of the nearly $2 billion he stole from your fellow Americans…by your bootstraps. 🫡🇺🇸

I used to live around the corner from this place. So fucking sad.

I don’t wanna be incendiary, but I’m not sure billionaire p*dophile conmen make better presidents than competent, qualified black women would make.

Historically, it’s the side that has to literally nullify votes to establish a right-wing, theocratic oligarchy are the good guys, right?

A lot of you are going to “it’s not that deep” us back into Jim Crow and Slavery.

PabloReports: Ted Cruz called you a parasite and disparaged your work as a bartender. AOC: I think it’s funny that he’s been taking a government paycheck for 23 years but has the audacity to criticize someone who has come from a family that had to work their way up and earn their place here.

@jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social #satire

Always fun to get him to tell the actual truth for once.

Five of the nine Supreme Court justices would rule that black people have no rights, and Clarence Thomas would join them and write the majority opinion.

Every year on MLK Day they share the same damn “content of their character” quote, and then spend the other 364 days of the year gutting the Voting Rights Act and making it harder on black people in this country.

Is being a racist, sociopathic, Christian extremist, date-rapist-in-waiting asshole a prerequisite for being a MAGA influencer, or do they hold training sessions to learn how to properly be a racist, sociopathic, Christian extremist, date-rapist-in-waiting asshole?

I’m no virologist, but it’s my hypothesis the hantavirus outbreak may have started because Stephen Miller fucked a dead rat. I’d ask Katie, but she’s too busy with the father of her baby, and I’m not sure where Elon is at the moment.

Damn it. If only I could have not matured and grown up, stayed in the cults, embraced nationalism and racism, I could have been a right-wing influencer/“best-selling” author and/or grand wizard! Shucks. Decent human being will have to do, I guess.

YouTube has removed one of my videos because I reported that women can still access abortion pills. I shared *factual & medically accurate* information about women's health—yet the platform says I'm "facilitating the sale of illegal drugs"

Don’s not gonna be happy with you talking about ICE like that, Widdle Marco.

Facebook needs to demonetize me so I can pay my bills dunking on the idiots like Ashley in my comments.

Hey everyone, I’m starting to get this inkling like electing an idiotic, raving lunatic and pedophile may have some negative consequences for everyone down the line. Will research some more and get back to you with my findings.

He’s not the brightest bulb in the box, sure, but he is the rapiest clown at the circus.

I don’t think they get that calling him “Daddy” triggers me way less than it turns them on.

Wait a fuckin’ minute! You mean to tell me being a paid shill on Fox News doesn’t make you a military genius?!

My pal Allison as always is right the fuck on. We have to fix the court. It’s our most corrupted institution.

Today's Supreme Court ruling in Louisiana v. Callais is the culmination of John Roberts’ two-decade crusade to gut the Voting Rights Act. It is, simply put, a devastating blow to American democracy.

Let’s all post it and see if they indict all of us.

As you get older, they do sag more, and he’s very old. So maybe he really does need more ballroom. But he sure as fuck doesn’t need a bribery-funded underground bunker ballroom.

KIMMEL: “You know how sometimes you wake up and the First Lady demands you be fired? We’ve all been there, right? — I agree hateful, violent rhetoric is something we should reject… a great place to start to dial that back would be to talk to your husband.”

There is no “for a reason” clause in the First Amendment and it might be helpful for the most powerful lawyer in the country to know that.

No matter where I go- work, the grocery store, even just on the street- I hear one thing from people: we need a ballroom

Your Pedophile President Has Gone ____ Days Since Faking an Attempt on His Life

Elect a reality-TV star who’s used to staging events for the cameras and what do ya get?

Anyway. I’m glad nobody was hurt and I’m sure the journalists who attended the WHCD will not center themselves and their personal experiences and instead remain focused on holding the powerful accountable and informing the people about their government.

Oh my god. He’s going to open Trump Farms Dispensary with his sons, huh?

PabloReports: Donald Trump is complaining about the results in Virginia. He seems to be very distressed. AOC: I’m sooo sorry for his heartbreak at this moment, and I look forward to adding ten more Democratic colleagues in November.