Happy Felon's Day to all who celebrate 34 Felony Convictions. Next year in the Hague God willing.

Happy Day Off everybody. Let's use it to remember the great people who ran and governed because they cared about this country, and let's hope one day to have people like that in office again. Also, all Sealy mattresses 30% off!

It would be FANTASTIC if all the musicians and singers with Bad Bunny started the show wearing blue bunny hats...

There's your IQ test right there.

Bless Bruce Springsteen. He wrote and recorded it in a couple of days. We're not only on the right side of history, we're on the human, feeling, brave, compassionate, brilliant, honest side of history. brucespringsteen.net/news/2026/st...

IDEA: When I fly I put an Apple Air Tag in my luggage. I can find it anywhere on my phone. What if every1 going to a protest or march or had family had an apple air tag on them with it tied to a relative's phone so if they get snatched or arrested we would know where they are. ???

Last Call Today... 4 month old husky/shep mix. Hit by car. Tails of Joy will pay leg repair if anyone will adopt. Leg not too bad. Last Call. Los Angeles area. Will transport in CA once healed. EMAIL [email protected] Has til 4pm LA time...

Happy Donald J. Trump and Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday and Memorial Day.

I will be using the full force of the United States military and declaring war on the entire New York City school system for not making me Homecoming Queen. You had your chance Sheepshead Bay High. Rhonda Lipschitz sharing her crown with me isn't enough. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Happy #Caturday!

Meme Roundup.

If you do one thing today to fight ICE Call Mary Moriarty, the Hennepin County Attorney in Minneapolis and ask her to file an arrest warrant for Jonathan Ross. Only she has the legal authority to do that. Call the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office: 612-348-5550.

I finally got my Best Actress Oscar! Thank you so much for the re-gift Jessica Chastain.

The BEST!!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS0w...

On the podium today Kristi Noem said "One of ours, all of yours", a Nazi Germany quote from when an SS officer was killed in a Czech Village & the Nazis killed every resident in response. To use a Nazi quote to the US really lets you know how bad those Epstein files must be.

The @gofundme for fugitive murderer jonathan ross is almost $200,000. The law states criminals cannot financially benefit from their crimes. #gofundme take this down you are complicit in crime. I hope Renee Nicole Good's family sues him and @gofundme for libel, slander and damages.

Breaking news!!!! reviews are in for the new Melania movie

"Crowd work." In my opinion the only person who gets a pass is @stevehofstetter who has turned it into an art, and is also a brilliant comedy writer.

Not only did they shoot her, but they also denied her medical aid.

1. New Hilton Hotels & Resorts Honors Program. Welcome ICE! Earn Points Quickly! One shove to the ground, female: 20% off cocktails! One serious wounding, pregnant female: Room upgrade to higher floor! One gunshot wound, male or female: Complimentary hors d'oeuvres!

Hey @Hilton how you gonna run your hotels when everyone who cleans yr rooms, washes yr dishes, busses yr trays, works yr registers, carries luggage & parks cars is arrested & deported by yr welcomed "guests". #BoycottHilton until they put ICE where it belongs, in an ice bucket.

The official plaque honoring the police who defended democracy on Jan. 6 is not on Capitol display as required by law.

Jan 6th. Happy Anniversary of "Treason Season". "Insurrection Over Fake Stolen Election." "Hang the VP For Me Me Me." "Kill the Cops I Won't Call a Stop." "The Lardon Will Give You a Pardon." If he wasn't arrested after that, everyone in government should just STFU.

Stayed at @hilton in SF on Xmas. Was planning to stay again next week. Never again. My Hilton Honors card is now a Hilton Dishonors card. "A welcoming place for all" ?? Fill my cancellations with Goebbels, Adolph, Goering, or that viking horns traitor. May he crap on your hotel desks.

Classified: The Department of War planning meeting to invade Greenland will be held at the Palm Beach 7-11 on Hibiscus Rd. Turn right at the black curtain in the chips aisle. If you reach the string cheese you've passed it. Keep your voice down.

"Trump invoked the 1823 Monroe Doctrine to justify the Venezuelan strikes and renamed it the Don-Roe Doctrine." Name changes coming: The Bill of Donald's Always Rights Donald J Trump and Christ mas. Thirteenth/Fourteenth/Fifteenth and Trumpteenth Amendments The Trumplaration of Independence

"Trump Says US Captures Venezuelan Leader." Come on Venezuela, you owe us one. assface brings Maduro to NY so he can say a Muslim mayor is already letting in undocumented immigrants.

Oh look! Venezuelan oil has just spilled all over the Trumpstein files!

We know money's tight for everyone. When you donate any amount to #tailsofjoy (even $1, it all adds up) you can email me at [email protected] & I will email you a free link to my show in SF from last week. Laugh and save lives. Happy New Year! www.tailsofjoy.net/donate/

Happy New Year!!! Happy New York!!! A Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim walk in to a subway station....THAT is the America we know and love.

Happy New Year! Happy New York!

Happy New Year's Eve! Our partner on the CA/Mexico border thought this dog was dead. She wasn't. Now Greta looks like this & has a dream life. Donate any amount tailsofjoy.net/donate then email [email protected] & get a free TY link to our 12/26 comedy show in SF. You're on the list!

If I'm not onstage there's no better new year's eve than pajamas and dogs (or cats).

Donate to Steve Bluestein's FB b'day wish for Elayne's rescue org Tails of Joy & get a free link to the show Elayne just headlined in SF on Dec 26! No minimum amount. No FB? Donate directly for link! www.tailsofjoy.net/donate/ www.facebook.com/donate/15587...

To my proud fellow Radical Left Scum.. We turned a dis into a left handed compliment. So let's all buy this Left Handed Compliments Ruler & save animals! It counts down from 12" to 1". We're all volunteer so 100% goes to rescue animals in the nick of time. www.tailsofjoy.net/product/left...

Merry Christmas everybody!!! Tails of Joy. tailsofjoy.net

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Six shows in San Fran and also on youtube. See youse soon I hope. KosherComedy.com

President assface announced a new type of large warship he is calling ‘battleships,’ marking a step toward achieving the president’s vision for a new ‘Golden Fleet.’” “The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me, because I'm a very aesthetic person.”

San Fran or youtube. The fun starts tomorrow.

Please be responsible. #tailsofjoy tailsofjoy.net

Saw a pretty good pre-emptive bumper sticker on a cybertruck. Clearly the person bought it before the election. It said "Elon Haters Tesla Club". Translation: "We didn't know. Please don't hurt the car".

Still shopping? I hand carried these St. Francis of Assisi charms back from Assisi after I had them blessed in the church there. You can see the video on the sales page. We hope they will keep your pets safe and well. 100% goes to #rescue #tailsofjoy tailsofjoy.net/shopping/

Oh no! I'm doing six shows in San Fransisco this upcoming week (and virtually on youtube) and now I just found out the name of the event has been changed to Trump Kung Pao Memorial Kosher Comedy.

To those who want to rename the files the "Trump Epstein" files. It's a bit long. I will from now on be calling them the "Trumpstein" files.

Stephen Miller's Matchdotcom landing page.