Bweh...

If a muffin is basically a cupcake with fruit, then why isn't it a fruitcake? This thought brought to you by my dumb brain and the muffin I bought for breakfast while walking to work.

Just realized this will be the first year I haven't lived in Louisiana during Mardi Gras season....how...how do I get King Cake???

Hopefully 2026 won't suck. Doubtful.

"It's a bike lane, not a scooter lane," says some kid riding the wrong way in the bike lane...while I'm also on my bike. I just needed green onions from Giant, kid 😂

Patron: I'm going to call the President since he hates Wes Moore and Baltimore. That will fix y'all. What was the problem you may ask? The printer ran out of paper. Which...was promptly fixed.

Nothing like the feeling of getting off your first bus at exactly the right time and having to wait a total of 10 seconds for the connecting bus to get to the stop

I don't know why every app decided 2025 was the year they all needed to do their own version of Wrapped, but they need to read the goddamn room. The last thing I want to do is remember what happened this year.

*cries in freezing in the East Coast* 😂

I'm the cute one who does nothing

Is it depression or neurodivergent burnout? More news at 11.

Me, seven days deep into Christmas: I’m sorry but if you give me another partridge we’re gonna fight My true love: *sweating*

Another one lol. Patron (on phone): where am I at in line for the hotspot? Me: you're number 505 Patron: hmm...I'll give you $20 to move me up. Me: I can't do that sir. Patron: all right, $50. NO

I think I'm just gonna start a thread of crazy shit I've heard while on the job.

My brain: am sad, you know what we should do? Me: rest and take care of ourselves? Brain: If by that, you mean get more piercings, then yes. It wasn't but...I meeeean >.>

Having a brain that immediately goes to worst case scenarios and thinks of ways to self destruct all the time is fucking exhausting.

Me: it's unusual that the library isn't closed the day after Thanksgiving or Christmas. Library's CEO: Hey guys, we changed the holiday schedule to be closed the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas. YAAAAAAY

Asked my gf to bring my glasses to work. She drops them off, wanders behind my desk - I fuss at her that she can't be in a staff area and she says she says she doesn't care, and kisses me goodbye. An older gentleman as he was leaving the library said, "you and your girlfriend are SO CUTE" :3

My navigation buttons are back on my phone yaaaay!!! Idk why the gesture navigations are the default. Hate it, but it's fixed woooo!

Idk why some drivers just think that it is my goal to ruin their day simply bc I'm on a bicycle. Bruh, I'm just trying to get to work.

I'm upset that the most recent Pixel update has my interface behaving more like an iPhone now. I don't want an iPhone - that's why I have an Android 😂

*Sipping kombucha at my desk* Little kid: what's that? Me: it's Kombucha, it's a special type of tea that is fizzy like soda. Kid: Does it taste good? Me: ummmm...it's complicated 😂

I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but: If you need a librarian to help you print photos from your phone and you are technologically challenged - at least delete your nudes off the device before you come to the library and ask for help 🙏

After spending the last decade working in libraries, there are just some noises I tune out - like the sounds of people cussing out the security guard until they say something really creative.

🦇✨Your favorite cursed possum witch is live! ✨🦇 Grab your broomstick, light the candles, and join me in the trash bin for some mischievous magic!🐾🖤 Join me as I play Hades, a game I've never played and somehow managed to never learn anything about. I'll be fiiiine :3 www.twitch.tv/alderfae

Living in a polycule means getting an impromptu 🔫 safety lesson from your leather jacket wearing gf while her gamer gf is downstairs on Discord waiting for her to get back on the game 😂

Getting in a raft with these crazy bitches. Wish me luck! www.twitch.tv/alderfae

There's something weirdly hilarious about being called a "cantankerous old cow" by a random strange man bc I kicked him out of the library for creeping on the kids. Adding that description to all my bios. Moo, bitches.

Living with gf expectations: snuggles, cute dates, lots of kisses. Reality: Constantly giggling upstairs bc she's in the basement on her PC making the most unhinged commentary on YouTube videos 😂

First attempt at #digitalart Had fun!

As a librarian, I share this sentiment. I do not have or want children of my own, and I am perfectly happy to be a part of the 'village' that helps shape children into intelligent, kind, and empathetic humans.

Truth

Maybe I'm weird, but I think the best thing about having a day off from work is not having to put on a bra or pants for a full 24 hours.

Apologies #4: Margaret Atwood #edusky #academicsky

must-read from @katherinelocke.bsky.social hechingerreport.org/opinion-ever...

No stream tonight buuuut I'm streaming #Pentiment on #Twitch tomorrow at 1pm central time. There's a rumor that a silly blue cat may join me in more MeDIEval Murder Mystery adventures! Link:Check out this video "(18+)MeDIEval Murder Mystery| Alder Plays Pentiment" www.twitch.tv/alderfae/v/2...

Step 1: Steal Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen's hat. Step2: get unsolicited flirting by an army of undead twinks Step 3: PROFIT

Bombing for peace is like burning books to promote literacy.

I need teleportation to exist now so that I can travel wherever I want and have regrettable Amazon purchases hit my door step faster.

'I don't wanna get caught by gay priests!' -Alder, 2025 I'll be continuing #Pentiment and saying more unhinged shit. www.twitch.tv/alderfae/cli...

And the lord your god, aka some dumbass possum on the internet hath proclaimed: Jesus was a twunk. Happy #Pride ya'll www.twitch.tv/alderfae/cli...

God, please reincarnate me as a Bodega cat

Everyone in the past was neurotypical, which is how we got things like this single-author, eight-volume encyclopedia of ferns