I won the lottery today - only $32 so I still gotta masturbate and write about it for a living, but still fun! 🤷‍♀️😅

😏😉

Working on my next article. So tell me, where’s your fav place to splooge on a lady? 🤭

i'm tired of being told to stop doomscrolling. i'm just scrolling, it's not my fault there's doom on there

Last night at 4 am I had a stroke of genius. I knew I had to write it down so I didn’t forget. It was incredibly important. So I emailed myself and went back to bed. I woke up this morning excited to look at what I had emailed myself because it felt so important… I have no idea what it means 😂

Careful with that thing! 😉 www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/4-b...

Gotta get it right if you want to get laid! 😘 www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/wha...

Keep it simple, keep it hot! 🔥 Check out my review of When Harri Met Sally by @erikalust.bsky.social www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/sim...

If you haven't found your favorite wand yet, this might just be the one! 🪄😍 Check out my review of the @wevibe Wand 2 (thanks to @Lovehoney_com )! www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/eve...

I haven’t driven at all since 2020 until now. Is it just me or are people generally worse at it? 🤔

Introducing him to the Classics

Please don't ruin the one good thing still left on the internet 🤦‍♀️ www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/6-g...

if you need the fill the awkward silences while hanging out with relatives today, listen to me and @emmaaustin.bsky.social talk about How The Grinch Gaped Christmas for 45 minutes. aunts love that stuff www.buzzsprout.com/709740/episo...

Bought a car today and my dog keeps barking at it because he thinks some creep is in our driveway 😅

I’m so behind on work!!! 😭 But that’s because big changes are coming to the Austin household! 😉🤫😏 Will update more when I can! ♥️

One more month until sweater weather!

This toy is so strong it wiped that smile right off my face! 🥵 Check out my review on loveemmaaustin.com ♥️

Ceiling mirror shenanigans 🤭

Currently working on an article about the 3 times I’ve been caught having hanky panky outside 😅🤫🫣🤭⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Have you ever been caught doing the deed in public? 🫣🤭

Can I just get a smutty audiobook without a fake southern accent pls?? Is that too much to ask?!

Hey 😏😉 ⠀ ⠀

I love summer soooo much! ☀️🌻😎There’s nothing better than listening to an audiobook while relaxing outside in a hammock 🎧🥰

I just whipped my tits with an exercise band. How’s your day going? 😅🤦‍♀️

Date night 😏🔥

What’s your fav podcast? 🎧🎙️

When I was a cashier at a grocery store and a customer was rude to me, I'd squeeze their bread while bagging it. I have no regrets 😎

What’s your favorite kind of sex toy? Mine would have to be a wand 🪄😍👌🙌

Working on my next article. So tell me, where’s your fav place to splooge on a lady? 🤭

It might not look like much, but this cute rabbit totally blew my mind!⠀🐰🥵 ⠀ Check out my blog for the full review 💦⠀

Wanna play Strip Mario Kart with me? 🤭

Let’s go cuddle and watch 90s movies ❤️😉

Sup?

Is this how I’m supposed to sit? 🤭

It’s finally nice enough to ride my bike again! 🥰❤️🚲☀️

Any guesses what’s inside this Big Ass box? 👀🍑⠀ ⠀ If you’ve listened to my latest podcast episode you already know! 😉😈 and if not, you should go listen! 🤭😘

Spring Blues 🩵💙⠀

Look what Jake and I rigged up! Fuck you Galen Weston! 🌱🥬🍅🫑💪

I’m wearing green but you can still pinch me if you want 😘🍀🌈🤭

Cozy AF 💙⠀

Everybody getting jazzed for Spring?! 🌿🌱🌸🌷☀️ I’m so over being cold! 🥶❄️⠀ ⠀ ⠀

I haven't been able to share this article for four years! www.loveemmaaustin.com/latest-1/thi...

I don't watch sports, but I know which team I'm rooting for 🤭😉

New podcast episode out today! 🎧🎙️😎

Hey 💙

Will you be my Valentine? ❤️🥺🤭🥰❤️