I'm sat in Nottingham's grottiest Caffe Nero with a hangover and they're playing a strange operatic version of 'Days' on the piped music. Just off to update my LinkedIn profile.

Went for a work breakfast meeting thing this morning at 8am and we both had sausage rolls so don't try and tell me the economy isn't growing.

U wot m8?

this is one of the most psychotic things Trump has ever posted

Merry Christmas! #nowplaying

Christmas is cancelled.

This is no life.

My mom's really been pestering us for Christmas ideas for our kids, who can be tough to get stuff for. But I hadn't thought of steel.

We've all been there.

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm quickly coming around to the idea that Keir Starmer is as thick as pig shit.

Just ordered my traditional post-Christmas, pre-NYE skip.

FIFA piss prize, #morelike

I suspect you have to be quite racist to stand out as "the racist guy" at a boys public school of the 1980s.

Ffs.

Some absolute renegade edgelord over on LinkedIn has started a poll about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas film or not.

Yeah, I'll bet they've fucking retired. www.theguardian.com/football/202...

52 today. Solid first present.

The state of some of these footballers.

#nowplaying Flawless stuff.

Just had the gambling industry feeling sorry for itself in my inbox.

I mean we've all published the Budget a couple of hours early if we're honest about it.

Something of a revelation in the (excellent) Mike Joyce book.

The so-called "architects" have gone too far this time.

Another normal day in the US of A.

"... dwelling on the past alibis the present. Starmer can't attack Farage now as a racist as, quite deliberately, Labour's attacks on refugees leapfrog Reform."

it's ashes eve. get your prep done today so you can follow this morning routine from our turbo team, crafted for maximum efficiency and productivity. be more turbo.

Todd Blanche always looks like he just shit his pants and is deliberating next steps

It is with a heavy heart that I must report that The Guardian is AT IT AGAIN.

Just bought myself a pair of overalls to "do some jobs in the garden".

Fuck a duck!

If that centre forward for Scotland went for the last bit of cake I’d probably let him have it.

With the half the internet down, this is the perfect time to release my debut album.

New shop opening in the precinct; looking forward to seeing what they sell.

This better not be shit. www.theguardian.com/culture/2025....

Just had some great post.

Hang on...this is right up there an'all.

It simply doesn't get any better than this.

Congratulations to Labour who have won the coveted Tommy Robinson endorsement. Excited for sensibles to explain to me why I have to vote for the people enacting actual fascist policy.

A pack of 50 sausage rolls with a Matchbox car free inside. We used to be a proper country.

Got a whole 24 hours tomorrow without The Children.

The Rochdale Kiki Dee on #TOTP there. Lisa Stansfield, not Miles Hunt.

You really can tell the popularity of a government by the faces on the young people they make stand around on the shop floor for a photo opportunity.

Far be it from me to say that The Grown-ups have run out of things to write on about footy, but…

This highly-relatable spat between two of the principled hard men of British politics is truly gripping and will no doubt have echoes into eternity.

Big shout out to the bloke in the gym changing rooms just now tucking in to a packet of Cadbury's Mini Rolls. #eatclean

The ideal record to listen to while you’re air-frying fish fingers. #nowplaying