Why is your penis in a dead girls phone?

Fans & friends - yes I am a comedian & impersonator, but I'm also a Georgetown Law grad & eviction prevention attorney. I'm running for Congress in NJ because I think my "particular set of skills" are needed for my district & the Democratic Party. Please go to www.JLforNJ.com to learn more & donate.

I was going to get rid of my giant bean bag because it’s just taking up space and doesn’t do much for the decor. Me and Miss Mamas took a nap so luxurious on it today that I woke up and didn’t know who or where I was. It was pitch black out and we were both thirsty and starving. Keeping it.

Bob Weir, guitarist, singer and founding member of the Grateful Dead, has died at age 78. Weir’s death was announced Saturday in a statement on his Instagram page.

Checking out the US Figure Skating Championships to see what kinda heat we’re bringing to the Olympics.

“A real man would not shoplift the pooty from a single mother.”

We are heartbroken to hear of the passing of T. K. Carter, beloved by genre fans for his role as Nauls in John Carpenter’s 1982 classic THE THING.

I didn’t know what to call it until later but I kinda always knew.

#NW Much Ado About Nothing The one with Denzel and them.

It’s supposed to rain all day and night which should do wonders for my mental health. /sarcasmfont

I care as much about what’s going on on Twitter as I do Truth Social.

I have never seen it for them so I’m not surprised by the comments but the gworls are DRAGGING Matt and Bowen on the clock app.

My African king. ❤️

I did not know Briar was thicc like that. Awwright nah!!! #DragRace

Lin Manuel Mandami

I’m not so much doing dry January, just trying to drink less. But this first week back at work belly-to-belly suplexed me and I just HAPPEN to have enough points left to enjoy a couple few cocktails on tonight so, cheers Dolls!

Let me catch up #DragRace

Started thinking about him heavy again today.

I love our lil cousin Joe!

People getting brutally murdered while a jazzy rendition of Send In The Clowns underscores? #WillTrent is back!

For me, it’s her sister Jasmine.

Dani noooooooo #BetondTheGates

Listening to my 3rd book this year and reading one. All borrowed from Libby.

Keith Porter was shot and killed by an off duty ICE agent on NYE, leaving his family to bear the expense. His loved ones have created a GoFundMe. Please donate/share if you can. gofund.me/839a8c4bd

Trying to figure out how to wear hats when my hair is curly and not look like Coco Crisp. I love that look, just not quite what I’m going for.

Are the Loudoun County schools off today? I made it to the office in record time.

He planted the flower seeds. “Now seeds,” said Toad, “start growing.”

Welcome to 2026! It's Time to get and Stay Krunchy! Recording Liveon YouTube and Twitch. Join us in the chat! www.youtube.com/@stayskrunch...

New York City parents may soon have access to free child care for their 2-year-olds, under a plan unveiled by Gov. Kathy Hochul and Mayor Zohran Mamdani.

The Tide product placement always makes me giggle. #BeyondTheGates

A draw. A freakin draw.

Started book 3 in the Heated Rivalry series, Tough Guy. New characters!!!!!

Got my tickets for Wizards v Warriors!

Atlanta people Next Thursday Come laugh with ya boy

Ask Nicci Gilbert.

I concur, wholeheartedly!! We HAVE TO take this opportunity, and go 8 points clear at the top!! #Arsenal #COYG

High Potential is back! I really hope they aren’t shipping Morgan and Adam.

we are only seven days into the new year

They’re showing old episodes of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood and they just showed when Ray J pushed Princess in the pool. She warped to the Underwater World. Classic.

Happy birthday @thisiskashmir.com

Every person on Bluesky should know: * Every post on Bluesky is PUBLIC forever * Every post on Bluesky is archived by ICE, NSA, and many other agencies * Even if you delete a post, it’s already been captured * Judges don’t care if you were “kidding” or being ironic www.404media.co/the-200-site...

My body is ready.

The good ole VAR. #BURvMU

“Jessica has your nose wide open.” When I tell you, I hollered. #BeyondTheGates

Trae Young has the Washington Wizards as his top preferred trade destination, sources tell ESPN. Atlanta is working to move Young, who has a $49 million player option in offseason that would make him an expiring contract; or opt out, leave and give Hawks significant cap space.

Not to take the men’s side (eeeyuck) but I feel like their examples are “ she showed me she was a horrible human being” vs us being like “he chewed with his mouth open,” lol.

I want the record to show that he said that he used the umbrella and ASKED where he should put the rainbow sticker and I SUGGESTED on his butt, your honor. 🤣🤣🤣

He lost his keys. His house keys. More than once.

Tell the whole story!!!!