🎅

This reminds me of a dish that a friend brought to me post pregnancy: egg noods, cream of mushroom soup, sour cream, drained canned mushroom slices, and premade meatballs. She called it “Poor Man’s Stroganoff”

I tried to lighten the mood since spouse was demanding to take me to a hospital at 5 o’clock in the morning on Monday out of concern. I felt a fart coming on, decided to say “hey, Macarena” afterwards. My pained laugh at the act did not help my “no hospital” case.

Reason #157 why I appreciate and adore my spouse: if I make pained noises about some physical ailment he takes it seriously.

Wondertwin powers, activate! Interior of Pop Tarts! Shape of Combos! I ain’t paying $2.99 to fully find out how they are, so thanks for the savings, Imagination 🤗

Fuck Times New Roman. Stupid modern shit. We need to return to this: illuminations. We need to return to the first letter on the page being a big picture.

Join us for some parody caroling! www.mobilize.us/indivisible/...

For not having testicles it sure feels like I got punted square on with some steel toe boots.

Today’s CT and ultrasound agreed on three things: 1️⃣ There’s a 3cm mass/cyst on my left ovary with signs of rupture 2️⃣ Dilated veins left adnexa consistent with pelvic venous engorgement syndrome 3️⃣ DDx: hemorrhagic functional cyst, endometrioma or cystic ovarian neoplasm

Maybe she’s has a genetic predisposition to cysts. Maybe it’s cancer?!

Toddler can’t reach the water to wash their hands in the sink? Trim down the sides of a tall & narrow throwaway plastic container, add a hole to fit the faucet, a rubber band strap for stability, and customize for your needs BOOM! Problem solved. #Reduce #Reuse #Recycle #DIY #ShortMomSpecial

If CBP becomes a client I’m fucking out, even if I’m not the designer working on the cut vinyl setups.

Are we sure that raccoon isn’t from Florida? ‘Cause that’s certainly some Florida Man (or Woman) behavior of the “Ma’am, this is a Costco” level.

If you’re a Naples, FL native or visitor did you ever wonder about or notice those stone pillars just beyond the bushes of the parking lot of Third Street South? SURPRISE! They’re grave markers for Plot N of Rosemary Cemetery (the small one by CVS & former Dirty Larry’s is Plot W).

An clip that says “everything reminds me of her” without words 🫢

What America and the world are becoming is exactly why I didn’t want to have kids, even as a teenager. Can ya’ll stop proving young me right for once?

Me when my follower count is at 666:

I really don’t think Herr Drumpf can pee standing up without getting it everywhere like a toddler. He looks like someone who sits to pee for “medical reasons” that would never admit that he thinks about Arnold Palmer when he drops a duece, especially when the bidet does its thing afterwards 😬

Make the Ube Bukake www.iankewks.com/ube-pancakes...

I just woke up so LFG, @profanity.accountant

Turned my wedding ring set into a slave bracelet bangle. Hopefully it’ll catch them the next time they try to fly off 🤞

Rather proud that my biko got demolished at the Thanksgiving Filipino party yesterday given that I’m a half breed. They’re like squishy coconut rice crispy brownies 🤷‍♀️ 👀 ALT text for 🔗 to recipe, plus add lemongrass and ginger to the rice while it’s cooking for more flavor 😉 #GlutenFree #FoodSky

Sure, waste the itchy person’s time because you gotta feel better about yourself 🙄

A couple of weekends ago my screen protector cracked from falling out of girl pants pockets. This morning a car in front of me ran over a chunk of wood and it kicked up, cracking my windshield. Not sure what the message is, but I’m waiting for the third one like a horror movie jump scare 😬

It smells like ants would invade your armpits and be angry that they got catfished 😬

Former Twitter’s down after folks are noticing that there’s a shit ton of “American patriot” accounts weren’t even created in America 👀

If it isn’t the federal government getting in on human trafficking, then it’s the incel pedophile white guys that support them 🫩 Even the Germans are going “Dude.... In the #USA, people are fantasizing about slavery again.” 🔗 to NYT unpaywalled article in ALT text 1/

If anyone’s having issues uploading videos because of the BlueSky update for bookmarks, I recommend Skylight Social as a workaround. This video was posted with the “Quick Upload” option—the other available option saves as draft, but won’t post 🤷‍♀️

Nothing like your ex sending you a screenshot of some shit tested in Florida trying to make a national fashy debut… and PANICKING ABOUT THE WRONG THING BECAUSE OF READING COMPREHENSION! 😬 This whole ass thing does wonders for my anxiety and stress levels /s 🔗 to article in ALT text

Just disappointed myself with a diet soda by accident 🤢 Sucralose is only the *smallest* better tasting than aspartame 🤮

Immigration accountability advocates today unveiled a sweeping new online “Wiki” built on the ICE List project, promising a central, searchable record tying individual immigration agents to raids, vehicles, local police partners, and the legal machinery behind U.S. immigration enforcement.

This isn’t a peace plan—it’s Ukraine’s unconditional surrender to Russia while American oligarchs profit off the deaths of valiant and innocent Ukrainians. No one in the world should take anything America says/offers seriously. Ukraine gave up nukes for security guarantees—look where we are now 🤦‍♀️

Worth reiterating that the Coast Guard is part of DHS, not the military. So if this is "acceptable" Coast Guard policy, it's also probably an acceptable policy at ICE, CBP, Secret Service, and other agencies under DHS if it's not already.

By claiming treason and boosting those calling for hangings for even saying military service members should not to follow illegal orders just ensures ANY opposition landslide wins. It won’t be Dems fault when the tides change—GOP has no one to blame by themselves, but they’ll try to scapegoat 🤦‍♀️

NGL just successfully fought the urge to tell the douche bag incel at work “QUIET, PIGGY!” because he was trying to tell me something while I was taking a phone message for another coworker. If I have more emotional control than POTUS, then we’re so cooked until he gets his wish and dies in office.

Got the urge to scratch my big toe with a hammer because of that the deep tissue instinctually-wanna-bite-it-like-a-hand itch from my eczema. Me dragging my toe on carpet for relief:

One lonely FHP in the median at mile marker 108 median of I-75

How about this headline, eh? More of this, please.

This is for Florida only.

Anybody else think that naming operations like “Southern Spear” and “Swamp Sweep” is a fashy nod to the Nazi SS for the groypers and not just alliteration?

FYI: All these people up in Epstein’s inbox AFTER his conviction that are now apologizing aren’t actually sorry for associating with a known kiddie fucker—they’re just sorry that those conversations were made public. I don’t feel bad saying “fuck them” and neither should you 💁‍♀️

There was one FHP car in the median of I-75 at exit 105. Not sure if that means they’re calming down ICE shit in Naples/Marco Island.

Really wish more of local SWFL news stations were up on here than @gulfcoastnewsnow.bsky.social I find it interesting that they haven’t posted any of the coverage of ICE enforcement in Collier County last week. Their broadcasts and website have them, but they haven’t shared any of them on here.

Second Monday (Tuesday) that these fuckers were nowhere to be seen on I-75 in Collier County. There were no LEO at all from 105 to 131

“I’d release my taxes but they’re under audit.” “I’d release the Epstein files but they’re part of an active investigation.” “You’ll have it in two weeks.” America is tired of the excuses and lies.

‼️Reskeeting for pertinent info, pls Would be really cool to make a public map of towing vendors who are making profits off of illegal activity (like ICE kidnappings) 💁‍♀️

5D Chess, ain't it?