People who walk in front of me and zigzag when walking on a pavement that other than them is entirely clear of other people. Death.

What’s your sign

Lmao! “What do you want to do in your cut scene?” “Ah I’ll just eat some crisps” #TheTraitors

Motivated myself to actually cook - harissa pasta allá vodka with cannellini beans 😌

I’ve felt unmotivated and quite drained and down all day and tbh how can any of us be blamed atm? After pandemic, war, cost of living crisis, more war, and now whatever the fuck America is doing, it just all feels a bit futile doesn’t it? It’s so bleak.

Just checked my blocked and mute list on instagram to see if I thought I’d been harsh and do you know what? Nah I stand by every one of them actually

No motivation for anything today - I’ve managed three emails since I started

Switched gyms and paid to use any gym nationwide so I could go to the one near the office on days I’m not wfh and I’ve gone from a gym of no gays to a gym of lots of gays and let me tell you I have been HUMBLED

I’m old enough to remember the first time the tabloids didn’t like Victoria Beckham

I hate those fitness influencer videos where the guy says “everyone thinks you have to eat healthy everyday, but truly it’s about moderation and just enjoying what you like” and it’s them eating a single slice of pizza. I had 9 bags of crisps in a single sitting, Thomas, we are not the same.

Meta trying to understand British humour will never not be funny.

of course Louie decided to fall asleep here right as I needed to get ready to leave

What book should I read next? Just finished The Silent Patient. Into horror, scifi, fantasy, mystery, thriller but open to anything

oh it's going to be a Recession recession

Me when my husbands cuts over my very funny anecdote at parties:

Thinking of dumping the gym group and moving to pure gym, this is a big decision for me

Need a **** to **** and a **** to ****

Will I go out after walking 30km today? Stay tuned.

Imagine Trump looking at Marco Rubio, Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner and thinking … do you know who would fit in well here ? Tony Blair! Would he not be embarrassed? Would he not simply dissolve on the spot? (Dolly from dinnerladies voice) Tony Blair!!

Reader, it did not subside

Depressing that the state of the housing crisis means the players in #TheTraitors want home ownership with their winnings.

Rachel & Stephen really are playing a blinder here I don’t understand how they’re doing it #TheTraitors

Oh Rachel you emotionless queen #TheTraitors

Gimme your predictions for the 30th anniversary Pokemon Presents

I give it a week

woke up h*rny 🫩

Oh that is a cunty jumpsuit on Steven #TheTraitors

Does anyone use Apple Podcasts and if so does anyone have any idea how you can sort episodes from earliest to latest??

Bluesky going to work over on Twitter

Pretty convinced I just nearly passed out on the way to the train from work 😬

4% of the year has already passed so there’s that I guess

BBC report at a headline level that Grok will now not make sexually exploitative images any more. An actual reporter comes on and explains that it will do no such thing, and will just make the images invisible in the UK. These are two very, very different things.

I need need need a holiday. Half tempted to just book something for myself.

Same pose different day

I have a rotten headache so I am very much in bed goodnight

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Me on 3rd January

trying to remedy slow january sales… 😬

I will be listening to this on my way home.

I have a headache and I couldn’t work out why but it’s just hit me. I’ve done a lot of work today. I have a headache because I’ve been doing my job.

good morning

Did not realise that Gareth Gates had been announced for Hoopla and now I’m even more gutted we didn’t get tickets but also I need to know if he’s going to do his cover of Spirit In The Sky and bring The Kumars out on stage with him

Mother just rang - she bought herself new landline phones with the Christmas money I gifted her - the dvd I bought her (don’t ask) doesn’t work - there’s been a murder on the next street Standard.

“Deepfake child pornography is fine as long as only adults get to see it” is a curious place for the modern Conservative Party to find itself, but here we are

I might be sick but I just made a terrific bolognese

I have only just clocked that the prime minister in The Diplomat is the same guy who was the prime minister in the pig episode of black mirror. Do you think he’s trying to change the narrative of his portrayal of prime minister or do we think they’re actually in the same universe?

I think I’ve managed to give up vaping 🤔

Bring back power ballads

Stood up, felt like my head was going to explode and I was going to vomit. Told my manager I would be taking the day.

Oh I still feel rotten but genuinely don’t think I can afford to lose the time I need for the things I need to get done if I take the day off 😭 capitalism you’ve won again