Not to brag, but I’ve managed two loads today

First wash on the line of the year, we are so back

Not feeling attractive or even particularly mentally stable but I did just realise that I forgot to submit my expenses for my work trip to London last month so you know, silver linings?

What the hell is I’m A Celeb South Africa???

Sunset time in Manchester this evening is after 6pm for the first time since mid-October

Ignore the insta words idk

Morgan Freeman telling me about dinosaurs? Perfect bedtime viewing.

Was looking through my insta story archive to try and find a picture of an outfit. Good god I’m a whore.

Dear Shabana, Let's clear some things up around migration and remember we're talking about people's lives.

What it if I quit my job and downloaded pokopia

I need the ability to turn off specific people’s retweets on here

Just walking out of Mamma Mia at The Palace and I remain convinced that there is NOTHING that cannot be solved with a bit of ABBA.

leg day for hump day

It’s mad that nothing makes me happier than the realisation that I’m gonna shortly see my cat.

We’re very much in the “whatever coat I choose will be the wrong choice” season

I did it and felt better but not so much better to stop being in bed at half 8 feeling existential dread and questioning all my life choices

Want Hozier to do a Live Lounge cover of Two Doors Down by Dolly Parton - I can literally hear how good it would be in my head

I have driven to the gym, whether I can motivate myself to get out my car and actually go in is a different matter

they’ve officially gone to pot

I’m doing terribly thanks for asking

Should have booked today off work in hindsight

hotel has a gym which is nice isn’t it

Belfast you have been very fun but fuck me I’m knackered and I’m jumping straight into my bed as soon as possible after we’ve landed

Tell that to Michael Barrymore

hotel has a gym which is nice isn’t it

Why do Home Secretaries all dress like villains? This is an evil person’s coat.

Maybe the real unprecedented times will be a period of joy and calm

Winds & Waves looks promising. Just hope it runs well and the terrain doesn’t get more and more sparse as you get away from main areas

you know I would say her matching pink phone case really makes this, gives Goodwin a huge "sad loser man at the end of Legally Blonde" vibe

There’s going to be a lot of people within Labour today realising they likely would have retained Gorton & Denton but for Starmer desperately clinging on to leadership, running scared from Burnham

Greens won, they were 12 points ahead of reform, Labour halved their vote share and the Conservatives lost their deposit. What a gorgeous morning.

he could do no wrong

Louie has moulted so much on me that it’s set off my allergies and my eyes are going mad but he’s so peacefully asleep on my lap so I’m just suffering. This is fatherhood.

Jogging is quite like anal. You need to pace yourself, you might get cramp and at any given point someone might fart.

WHY is your group walking four abreast in the city centre? MOVE.

Husband has just sent me a reel of children hurting themselves as they go down slides. I love our marriage.

Quite like this photo of myself from last night even if I am in Via’s toilets

Found out my work phone isn’t allowing calls to come through … the urge to not report this to IT

Drunk! On the train home

I also listened to a lot of Donna Summer in the gym today x

Lot of Donna Summer fans in the gym right now, that’s all I’m saying

There was a woman sat next to me who didn’t applaud the entire evening. Assuming she thought it was a musical about Elvis’s wife.

Lot of men seeing Priscilla tonight. I wonder where their wives are.

Whyyyy do I still not have a holiday booked in for this year?

Condolences to the family of this woman, who presumably died at the red carpet of the BAFTAs on Sunday.

DOMS from leg day on Saturday has forced me to not run or gym today so obviously I am now unreasonably annoyed with myself

ABBA’s merch is out of control

Busy working week that I need to fit into 4 days, theatre and dinner tomorrow night and Belfast on Friday for the weekend. I’m tired already.

These people are poison. They will unleash racist thugs on the streets of this country and call it security. They will subjugate us to the US and call it patriotism. They must be stopped. There is no more important task in politics.