All dude respect

Baja Blast but not Baja Bleast

The Baja Blast Temptation of Christ

Baja Blast of the Mohicans

I put the “ass” in “bad ass”

The grass is greener? I think you mean, “The ass is wiener”

When you do the hokey pokey but fail to turn yourself around

She whipped my cream until my peaks were stiff

Free idea for my haters: Pay me!!!

Microsoft Butt Stimulator

The devil wears nada! That’s right - he’s butt naked!!!

Peepee days and poopoo nights

Purgatory is where you go when you’re too based for Heaven but too cringe for Hell

I’m heading to China today for a high-stakes meeting with Xi Jinping

Hating the Olive Garden is performative

I’m tired of the dystopian cyberpunk aesthetic. It’s time for utopian cyber dad rock

Indiana Jones and the Toilet of Poop

Nintendo should give Zelda 2 the Samus Returns treatment

I’m at the pee pee pants. I’m at the poo poo butt. I’m at the combination pee pee pants and poo poo butt

Chili prices have skyrocketed ever since they closed the Strait of Hormel

Just put all my sperm in one basket

I just won the Nobel Peace Prize for inventing the Everyone Bagel

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a beer and he’ll kick back and relax for a while

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a crap

They’re coming out with a woodchuck that can chuck wood

Stop using AI. Create something beautiful. Make a spreadsheet the old fashioned way

Caveman 1: Bro what are you doing Caveman 2: I’m heating up this food to kill germs and make it taste better Caveman 1: I’m skeptical Caveman 3: Let him cook

Pro basketball? More like probe assketball

Instead of leaving the peace talks in limbo, negotiatiors from Iran and the US should do the Limbo at the peace talks

They should use AI to 3D print a new Strait of Hormuz

If church had ads they wouldn’t need tax breaks

The nice thing about a sound bath is that only your ears need to be naked

Watching sportsball on the interwebs makes for some epic awesomesauce

Stop ending messages with “lol.” End them with “iala” instead (“I am laughing aloud!”)

SHARIA LAW: A woman who commits adultery gets 100 lashes. SHANIA LAW: Best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun.

Yeah I got a trolley problem. I am addicted to trolleys

A logarithm is an exponent

Joined at the tip

I’m at Burger Peasant eating a Whimper, Jr.

Hi, yes, thank you. My question isn’t really a question but actually a comment. I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and... I like to kiss my own butt.

Neil Armstrong more like Footstrong the way his whole deal was taking steps

Find yourself a man who goes wee wee wee wee all the way home

My self-care routine is basically just sticking my thumb up my butt and going “Wee Woo Wee Woo Wee Woo Wee Woo”

“Life is what happens when you’re standing next to the counter at McDonald’s waiting for your ten piece order of Chicken McNuggets and large Diet Coke” -John Lennon

FAFO stands for “Fart Aloud; Fart Openly”

Damb girl you must work at Hooters bc those boobs are owl I can think about

Sour Creamin On Ya

These guys (Kraftwerk) got it in 1981.

uptown unc

apex redditor