The Deuce Deducer
@marchanddcitron.bsky.social
๐ค 418
๐ฅ 117
๐ 14509
Is it poop? I am the one who will say if it is poop.
Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed is pretty good.
about 9 hours ago
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Imagine if Biden had droned Mar-a-Lago right after the Supreme Court ruled that a President can do anything and he's beyond the law.
about 11 hours ago
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What's the colloquial French term like depeche mode, but for casual fascism?
about 12 hours ago
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Is there some possible way he could burst?
about 15 hours ago
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I like "chili dogs" but I can't say I'm a fan of most regional meat sauces, mostly because people get really precious about putting a lot of cinnamon and sugar in them.
about 15 hours ago
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This year I'm growin' them new laser beans.
about 20 hours ago
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psych of delic
about 21 hours ago
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As a fellow giant slob and Carhartt wearing troll, I want to emphasize that John Fetterman's craven opportunism doesn't represent all of us.
1 day ago
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The Boroughs is pretty good.
1 day ago
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Memorial Day? That's the day we get a discount on mattresses because we never forget Charlie Kirk got killed by woke.
1 day ago
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I didn't think we would ever see the limit of these guys' toadying. Bravo, fuckers. You went all the way to letting the guy take the copper pipes out of the basement of law and order, but this is too much?
1 day ago
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Splendid. Just splendid.
1 day ago
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Why is cyclops plural?
1 day ago
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Aliya Rahman is a force the federal government hasn't got the patience to withstand.
slate.com/news-and-pol...
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She Was Ripped From Her Car and Detained, but Sheโs Not Done With ICE
โYou have to make it very inconvenient for them to brutalize you.โ
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2026/05/ice-minnesota-immigration-enforcement-lawsuit-violence-minneapolis-aliya-rahman.html
1 day ago
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DJIA approaches record high on news that George Santos may be getting a payout
1 day ago
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The curses I hurled at this blister-packed marinated chicken that would not drop out onto the griddle even after I slashed it open with a very sharp knife would curl Satan's nostril hairs.
1 day ago
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Why stop with these second rate dingdongs? Big tobacco should take a crack at it.
1 day ago
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Work and work for love and sex Ain't you hungry for success, success, success, success Does it matter? (Fatter) I've gotten fatter.
1 day ago
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reposted by
The Deuce Deducer
Ray
1 day ago
(watching an alien comes to earth sci-fi movie and the government guys in hazmat suits show up) Nice, everything is about to get so much worse
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More like POOP tail deer.
2 days ago
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Woodchonk alert!
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2 days ago
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"Modern live-streamed, manifesto-driven accelerationist terror" is something we're seeing more and more of, apparently.
2 days ago
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Some cops are bastards, but in a good way.
2 days ago
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You don't have to go to prison if you want toilet wine.
2 days ago
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Wanda Sykes' new thing is pretty good.
2 days ago
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meat push pop
2 days ago
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I love music, but I generally avoid concerts. There are so many reasons, but the main one is that I hate people and their existence being forced on me.
2 days ago
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I don't do drugs or go to concerts, but if I did, this would be a concert I'd go to and do drugs.
youtu.be/4wzyC3J6-NU?...
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Underworld Live at EDC Las Vegas 2026
YouTube video by Insomniac
https://youtu.be/4wzyC3J6-NU?si=iWX6gkDwPKQCNgwv
2 days ago
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*shudders ecstatically*
youtu.be/ihquQfv-v-0?...
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Restoring a Rusty Cleaver Blade
YouTube video by my mechanics clips
https://youtu.be/ihquQfv-v-0?si=-vW688CBP7fymjJ9
2 days ago
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Some time ago, maybe twenty years ago, I registered a Sandisk product, probably an 8MB MP3 player, and ever since, Sandisk has faithfully emailed me once a week.
2 days ago
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The solution to "there are too many As" is not "let's only give As to a maximum of 20% of the class," it is "let's make the curriculum harder."
www.washingtonpost.com/education/20...
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Harvard faculty vote to limit A grades for undergraduates
In a closely watched vote, the faculty took strong action to combat grade inflation
https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2026/05/20/harvard-faculty-vote-limit-grades-undergraduates/
3 days ago
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reposted by
The Deuce Deducer
drewtoothpaste
3 days ago
the human experience is to fall asleep, live somewhere you haven't been in twenty years, chat with long-dead family, get chased by animals, ride a plane, ride a miles-long escalator, ride a tiny horse, and when you wake up they say all that stuff is fake but paying taxes is real
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<at pitch meeting with the Tolkien family> "Space Bilbo"
3 days ago
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My wife and daughter share clothes (grudgingly, like sisters) and sometimes it gets a little heated, but none so much as the time recently when my daughter unironically wore some cutoff jean shorts my wife had only gotten for a Joy Hickey costume about ten years ago.
3 days ago
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I guess the Earth got smaller or something, because my watch is telling me I live about twenty feet lower than usual.
3 days ago
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Marco Lubio sounds like something Dan Savage would have called him during his campaign.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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AI Capone is some kind of singularity revivification of the old gangster. Just imagine the hijinks and criminality it would get up to with the reach and resources of the networked modern era.
3 days ago
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The secret to preventing the cats from begging for food all day is keeping the house above 82ยฐF, apparently.
3 days ago
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Kids, be this type of guy (committed to public service), and not the other type (the President).
3 days ago
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I'm so angry that we're just letting Trump state that the government was 'weaponized" against him and his posse of crime-committing criminals. If anything, prosecutions were overly meticulous and scrupulous and un-political, which ultimately let him run the clock.
3 days ago
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The limes may be 4 for $3, but they are sad and unfit for g&t (gins and tonics).
3 days ago
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An electric car so smart it pulls to the side of the road and shuts down when it only has enough juice to run the emergency flashers for 24 hours.
4 days ago
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Who invented the poop that only comes part way out like a stinky little tail? I suspect it was some Silicon Valley entrepreneur. No one asked for it.
4 days ago
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Like Al Capone's taxes, this will be what finally brings down the juggernaut of crime and cruelty!
www.washingtonpost.com/education/20...
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Health worker shortage will worsen with federal loan limit, 25 states say in suit
The lawsuit comes after the Education Department finalized rules that reduce the amount of money graduate students can borrow from the federal government.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2026/05/19/health-worker-shortage-will-worsen-with-student-loan-limit-25-states-say-suit/
4 days ago
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Is... is it because everything is more expensive?
www.wsj.com/opinion/why-...
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Opinion | Why Everything Feels More Expensive
Middle-class Americans have more income than they did 50 years ago, but the squeeze is real.
https://www.wsj.com/opinion/why-everything-feels-more-expensive-c6d216a8?mod=mhp
4 days ago
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They were all in love with dyin'. They were doin' it in Texas.
4 days ago
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I don't know how you like to get your E coli and norovirus from Chipotle, but I like to do it by ceremoniously putting everything that tumbles out of my overstuffed bowl onto the table back in.
4 days ago
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It was a little hot this afternoon (32C), but a perfect day to go punch little holes in paper very far away.
5 days ago
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My Pillow guy gets half, Michael Flynn the other half.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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reposted by
The Deuce Deducer
vineyille
5 days ago
"To the graduating class of 2026, in order to succeed you must embrace a future in which your bodies are pulverized into a slurry that will be used to cool our thinking machines. Only then will you know happiness." (flipping through note cards) "Ok, what else, what else..."
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