What a time to be a total pile of shit.

My philosophy on public pools is there should be so much chlorine you can feel it caressing your butthole.

Remember, folks: if you've had the diarrhea, you can never use a public pool again.

The Norway maples all over Syracuse are past the tipping point on tar spot again, meaning we are probably in for another double fall this year.

What are the odds on Kalshi that online betting could give people cancer upon first use and it still wouldn't get banned?

Stephen Miller talking about how other people's inner evil is manifest in their deformed outer appearance is pretty special.

if you lived through the phase when Madonna had a terrible English accent, you may qualify for monetary compensation

Hippopotamus Shit Propeller

🎶You can dip your foot in the pool But you can't have a swim (because you've got the shredded lettuce squirts)🎶

Remember this one? music.youtube.com/watch?v=EAwd...

Brabie®

This was a golden age of club music. music.youtube.com/watch?v=rEYP...

Whattaya think the teacher's gonna look like this year? Whoa!

Putting my handlers to the test is what I was grown in a vat for.

I'm talking about my friend, Fat Lenny. Yeah, I like him a lot. music.youtube.com/watch?v=cqIM...

Here are some pagoda dogwood leaves hard backlit by evening sun.

Oh, yeah. music.youtube.com/watch?v=ybsM...

They should make a lettuce that has a poop transplant built in. Oh, wait.

Unnamed Aerial Vehicle

Watch 2 25sec ads to see a 6 sec bystander video of a fighter jet buzzing a crowded beach? No, thanks, Washington Post.

Any time Bane said anything.

*learns about the 16" guns on Iowa class battleships* "yo, it would be sick if you put that on a Hilux"

You guys! The chunks I'm coughing up after going out in the Canadian smoke are maple flavored!

Like the ancient proverb says: when life gives you lemons covered in the blood of your fallen lemon militia comrades, make pink lemonade!

I bought SMG a few years ago when it was around $75 and it promptly dropped to $40 for the next few years. I sold it all today at $73 and only lost $650, so basically I am a genius of capitalism.

I can ride 7 miles over rocks and 500 ft of ascent, but stepping my second foot into my underwear without catching a toe and nearly toppling over?

This morning was cool and dry with almost no smoke, which is an outlier in what has been weeks of 33C/90%rh with enough smoke to sting your eyes, so I went for a ride and it was nice.

Is there a worm in my throat?

Looks like President Deals wants to maintain exclusive control of his racket.

Ranting Paranoid Psychotic Felon Con Man Runs Country, Escapes Justice

You can show your support for the new federal government that doesn't feel like spending money on basic public health stuff by getting the diarrhea.

If you look at the tan and orange sunset crosseyed today you can pretend you're on Tatooine.

bwidge ovah twoubled wawa

I don't know what you guys did today, but I saw this.

You guys all totally psyched to learn tonight that because 2020 was rigged, we won't be having any more elections?

S2E4 Uncle Rico is busing tables at a diner 20 years after he and some other grunts were experimented on in Vietnam so they'd never sleep. One of his buddies developed telepathy in his free time, and puts it to use getting revenge by tricking the victims into believing they're experiencing trauma.

Drain "the shlop" Johnson

People work out with barbells that are lighter than the Sig P211 GT4 (2.5lb) which is supposedly a "carry focused" handgun. At that weight, and with its all stainless construction and stout grip, you could easily leave the 9mm bullets out of it and just use it as a bludgeon.

With no further adude.

I’m usually not one for portents, but the sky looks a little too much like sackcloth.

This is why I've deep fried all my lettuce and raspberries for years.

My user profile pic often lands over some pretty funny background spots on my smart tv.

Why is our choice only either standard or daylight saving time? Why isn't it whatever time it is with the Sun directly overhead at noon in the middle of the time zone, and then the workday is just four hours long in winter? There. Your welcome.

The 50s and 60s were a time of simpleminded and credulous audiences for sci-fi. The big bad in most movies was something from space with a name like Kronos, which is just Greek for "time."

Hazy sunrise and bad air quality?

Well, well. If it isn't another morning. How many turds will be in the punch bowl today?

Can we just have compelling diarrhea? Why must it be explosive?

giant human male mixing another gin and tonic in your back yard, caught in the near infrared 850nm band

I work with a guy who looks like Robert Palmer if he had a goatee and a mullet.

You guys, I have so much good music to listen to while the sky goes dark and this bottle of Sapphire gets lighter.