Fucking the maintenance man for maintenance

I just sent my wife so much yuri that there’s no way Jesus is coming back

im a real #genitalsenjoyer

Call her a bulborb the way I’m rushing her butt

knowing all of my loves' favorite energy drinks by heart, the truest expression of intimacy

Cumming inside me as a bit

pictures from the other day 🥰

1 am, early early friday morning. i am sitting on the couch eating a bowl of blackberry cobbler that fern brought home from work and offered me. i am listening to the story by brandi carlile. olivia is helping tidy up our living room because i got overwhelmed. fern and cynthia are cooking in

Throwing ass in a sweet and pleasant manner

gooning alone tonight, miss? 🧐

white woman just told me she's a dog groomer like yeah i'm sure you are

nyaaaaah ~

Reminder once again that I’m pretty and nice and going to heaven and everyone loves me and also Frogger 2: Swampy’s Revenge

breaking: local polycule proves that it can, in fact, be entirely made up of perfect sweetie angels

get fucking gay married idiot

Her dick got my brain so fuzzy that the Frogger 2: Swampy’s Revenge ost disappeared from my memory

Walking into a GameStop right before they close walking to the Wii U section and moaning in violent ecstasy

they pro on my noun til they them

Rocket league toxic yuri

I have the search history of someone who spends too much time wondering whether aj soprano is transgender

Me and Merc and Dawn and cynthia tomorrow….

Guys, Mercury is going fucking apeshit in my apartment right now

how does this make you feel white boy

Winn Dixie more like when her dick is in me amirite

“Okay so like, I understand 6 7 INTELLECTUALLY right?”

Picking out the coke bottle without the 100% recyclable label in the vending machine so the customer behind me doesn’t think I’m woke like that

I almost missed my one year anniversary of having this bozo in my house 💕

Im aggressively mistletoe flavored today does anyone wanna kiss underneath me

So how many people from Brockhampton do you think were good boys this year

Very rough and unpracticed drumming again, but I’m getting better!!

On the fandom wiki for women and I’m scrolling straight to the “powers and abilities” section

watching house with da girlies :3

The first guy who ever sucked dick was probably just like “Aghuguhgghfh”

I desperately need to kiss someone rn

I will put out a reward for whoever can find that video of that bald YouTuber guy walking up and being “hey man, can I fuck your butt man? Can I please fuck your butt? Please let me fuck your butt”

I have inhaled 3 roast beef sandwiches at work today and I am SO god damn horny about it

Shoutouts to my girl gender, I love that lady

Hello chatroom

Lesbians... kissing me... petting me... and kissign me

My value is humongous

Puppy kennel stuff has gotta get weird at some point because like, what if I get bored. Do I just sit down and start sending you Instagram reels while you’re at work or what

Car Seat Headrest is actually pretty good when you have a furry bitch in your ear telling you drugs are scary and I wanna go home

this picture of myself in a dress that I kinda ducked out of wearing is killing me. Like I cannot believe I fucking LOOK like this oh my GOD

They’ve got me in the trenches working 60 hours a week on this “white boy” tier list

With increasing moral ambiguity and wokeness in the modern day, its become a herculean task for Santa to know which of the children of the world are actually evil. That's why this year, the North Pole is partnering together with Raytheon technologies,

I’m a horny farmer, I separate the wheat from the chaste

The mercury singularity is happening

🎶Baby, it’s problematic outside🎶

does anybody wanna come over. this will be on the tv turned up real loud