Hello, this is Benjamin, Sally's son. My mom unexpectedly passed from heart failure on Wed, Mar 26. My family invites her friends from all over the world to attend her Celebration of Life this Saturday at 11am Pacific. A livestream will be provided. www.plfryandson.com/tributes/Sal...

Hey how in the fuck am I supposed to know which meal plan to get if nobody lets you see some of the menus?!?!?!

What is the worst place to get a mosquito bite, and why is it behind my knee in the crack?

Good morning friends. 👋☕️ We pass by opportunities every day to see something beautiful, because we are burdened with the knowledge that democracy has died and don't look around for it. There is so much beauty out there, keep an eye out for it. 🙂 Take some hugs and pass it around! 🤗🫂🤗🫂🤗🫂🤗🫂🤗🫂

Tornado 🌪️ season is in high gear so start it off by antagonizing Satan. You’re going to blame him and LGBTQ for the trauma, anyway.

I have a very important question for our theologians. How does Yeshua like His steak and eggs? Well done my good and faithful servant.

Definitely!

Apparently you can now go into debt by doing the "pay later" option at fast food places. Same with Door Dash. The fuck? Can you imagine losing your house because you made too many payment plans to feed yourself?

Lil' #BPD 🧵 All I want in life is to be a good person. To be known as a good person. I'm fucking hilarious, but I keep my mouth shut because I don't want anyone to think I'm a mean girl or a bitch or whatever. Good people don't make those kind of jokes, right? They never say anything unkind or

Wood oddity

Cold bacon is not as good as fresh bacon, but it's not too bad. 🤷‍♀️

To be clear, sex in a Cybertruck is NOT called "cybersex." It's called "masturbation."

Have a protein filled breakfast every morning and you will have eagle powers.

Oh Lord in Heaven George Michael, please watch over and protect the ones who are not "Too Funky" on a Monday. youtu.be/JQ2DVwSVIIo?...

You're here because you care. You're awesome.

One of my favorite things about Tom Cruise movies is he's always running. "TOM CRUISE RUNNING!! TOM CRUISE RUNNING!!!" And check what I found on YouTube? TOM CRUISE RUNNING!! I think it's in his contract. youtu.be/jRtlU2QOVQo?...

But my lips hurt real bad!

Would you like to join me in my room for some... toast?

We were told not to share this publicly, but last year was record-breaking—America’s national parks saw over 331 million visits.

"Oh shut up and go and change your armor." Prize for first to win!

[insert "Flash" by Queen 🎶] I told Spouseman we should watch Flash Gordon this weekend, and he says it hasn't aged well. Is that true??? Say it ain't so!

Good morning you sexy beasts! I suggest you all listen to Dolly's famous anthem of the regular people, "9 to 5" this morning. I dedicate this song to all the people that hate their jobs because the gazillionaires hog all the profits we worked our asses off, for them to benefit from. 🖕 Hugs 🤗🫂🤗🫂🤗

Riddle me this: If Les Miserables is set in France, then why do they speak with British accents?

For the low, low price of $1, I will give you the recipe for the best bed you've ever slept on.

Is there a fast way to flush nicotine out of you? (Asking for a friend.)

Good morning friends! 🤗☕️ I heard from Jersey Mike this morning. 🥰 Let's all hug to celebrate this joyous occasion! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Take what you need, and then take one more for what you want. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

Same for all the assholes.

I have to come clean.....I've been attending meetings for a couple weeks now.

Good morning, Blue 🌞☕😭

I’m in love. 😍

Good morning friends! We made it to the weekend! Check it out, you know how I'm some kind of sick all the time? Two nights ago I had a bad fall. Now my right knee is fucked up and I have a hernia. Hugs! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😂😂😂😂😂

Hey guys no need to set Teslas on fire. They do that on their own.

If you beat a Capitol police officer with their own shield in an effort to overturn a free & fair election, you go free, but if you vandalize an electric car, you get 20 years in an infamously brutal El Salvadoran prison.

Seriously starting to wonder if my kid will be able to return from Ghana. How will we help him get home?

You asked for it, here's my sexy bedhead!

Good morning friends! 🤗☕️ I feel fantastic today. Take some hugs so it'll rub off on you! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂😘

California spring consists of turning the heat on one day, and the A/C the next. Sometimes even in the same day!

Can’t imagine what this poor little guy is thinking tonight

Jesus is busier than anybody I know!

Her son has a fetish for Nazis and so does she. What the fuck was Cover Girl thinking? They weren't? Too bad. That's going to cost them.

The Deep and Enduring History of Universal Basic Income thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/the-deep-and... #Economics #EssentialKnowledge #UniversalBasicIncome via @mitpress.bsky.social

I have a dream...

Wish me luck!

America is collapsing with the grace and dignity of a Denny's foreclosure in rural Missouri in which the owners just put whatever food is left out on the corner

Spouseman gave me $500 from our tax return (the rest is going to debt). So I bought an electric piano with weighted keys and pedals. Did you know I used to play the piano? I taught myself by ear when I was about 10. My grandma kindly forked out for a year of lessons, and at the end of that year my