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Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Plus dares to ask the question that’s on all of our minds: what if they made an old guy a baby

This is what listening to the new Hayley Williams album feels like

Christmas Songs

they’re arguing about phones

sex needs to be more difficult

everyone transgender

dinner

What y’all know about Jimmy Eat World’s freaking epic album Clarity

pro tip: don’t start a poop when you have to leave for work in five minutes

Does anyone else see the face of a dog in this ice cream tub

jesus was the first person to commit suicide by cop

Bleed American is so fucking good

I want to say what I Should’ve Said By Now but what if everything unravels. What if I’m wrong

Vague posting is so funny like Yes But I’m Not Sure About The Rest

the way thunder only happens when it’s raining

talk about perfect

let’s name the baby jet baby jet pack

Do you think bugs have like cold cases or have they just stopped trying

what if I am right. wouldn’t that just be the damndest thing

A good chunk of team “God’s Not Dead” are really just a fan of Ray Wise and his work more than anything

Theologians are pretty split on whether or not god is dead. A good bunch of them don’t believe that body they found under the overpass is him but the long grey hair and ancient attire and the fact that his drivers license said ‘GOD’ and nothing else says otherwise

You got any video games

Well meaning frontiersman father: Momma says you’ve gotta sear that steak lest it sears you. I don’t know why she said that I assume it’s a metaphor because I’m pretty sure we’re having stew tonight but uh yeah. Listen to momma! *he scuttles away and gets caught on barbed wire* ow

what if instead of attack of the 50 foot woman it was attack of the 5 foot woman and it was just about a regular woman attacking people

today feels like this tweet

Forgot about how early on in Heavyweights they imply that Ben Stiller had one of the kids killed

kind of surprised the admin is letting air and space open their new gallery about climate change. maybe it just slipped through the cracks. maybe they just assumed the airplane museum wouldn't do a woke

She bizkit on my limp until I rollin rollin rollin rolling rollin

Jerking Hardly or Hardly Jerking?

Mr. “Mormon Nutsack” Brightside made millions off of getting cucked

If apes played baseball that’d be sick as fuck. They would make it their own and they’d disapprove of “the old way” and everyone would eat it up. And you could gamble on it too

Muno spitting straight fire about bugs

In the name of job security those boys in red down at @safelite should start throwing rocks at peoples windshields

This is my new thing open.spotify.com/track/39rkLB...

sunburn

this is the most one-sided two-option poll i can remember seeing. you could probably get 10 percent of americans to respond that installing your air conditioner backwards so that cold air blows outside will fix the environment

I, Chuck Schumer, vow to nod disapprovingly about this in Trumps direction next time I walk by him

Gabba Gabba: Yo

hunts tomato sauce (no salt added)

oh my go oh my god oh my god music.apple.com/us/album/sha...

Guy eating my ass: is this even doing anything for you Me: no get trolled lmao Guy: I have a gun

There’s no way today is Friday. The science just doesn’t allow it

(heavily drunk but well meaning friend trying to console me about my recent break up) I don’t know what to tell you man. the sun has been screaming

BLJ actually stands for Blow Long Job. This refers to when you perform oral sex on a really long penis

DID YOU KNOW? In April of 2016, Benedict Wong, known for playing Wong, died. He was almost 45 years old.

I’m jacking off in the truck. I’m jacking off in the back of a uhaul truck