The price is going down $1,000 a minute. It'll be mine in just under 10 hours

Mel Gibson pictured with his doctor in 2004

So I was just laid off from Vicariously. If you‘ve got an opening in PR/marketing and want to hire someone who does good work and has a family to support, I’m your guy. Any reposts super appreciated.

I bet this sandwich would taste amazing if I was a Playstation

This that meat that you get out of the wall in Castlevania.

If she saved $11000 on her taxes from claiming door dash tips, there's a 100% chance she is committing tax fraud.

Manchester United, have you considered playing soccer?

We will build a second Strait of Hormuz, and Mexico is going to pay for it. by Donald J. Trump

The hungry red panda at the Prospect Park Zoo? Adorable. The HungryPanda delivery app scamming small businesses? Not adorable. So they will be paying $580,000 back. We'll keep pursuing companies that take advantage of New Yorkers, and we'll keep asking if we can pet a red panda just for a second.

America's current life expectancy age is 79, per the CDC

I have clicked "not interested" on roughly 1 billion Iran war related YouTube videos and every time I reload the home page there's 3 more.

How it feels doing literally any task right now.

Cincinnati is a good choice because we can stock up on alcohol and snacks at Jungle Jim's

I don't think I could make a joke better than this

This is your brain on vibe coding

Current status.

TFW your mother in law tries to give candy with wheat in it to her celiac daughter.

Next one is going to be a moogle, but I have to figure out which one.

Final product

Probably Clearwater, FL

TFW you're going to make a potato side dish and the potatoes you bought yesterday are already bad

Welp, some couple must have pissed my wife off pretty thoroughly because I got a text to remove couples counseling from her website lmao.

Duck Hunt IRL

*Sees unhappy cat with claw stuck in arm of sofa* "Let me help you there, my friend." *Gently and patiently rescues cat from its uncomfortable predicament, with enormous care* Cat (leaving): "I will never forgive you for this, for as long as I live."

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

Well played.

My boss put a meeting on my calendar to hold him accountable for completing a task.

The production crew is debating whether to use two small medipacks, or one large medipack

Today's agenda

Yes, my mom traveled in a group called Martini Mavens.

LinkedIn needs a button that means "this post is some of the dumbest crap I've ever seen"

Carrots are part of a healthy diet

First world problem and all, but I significantly underestimated how annoying not having a kitchen counter or sink would be

At 3PM it was 84 and at 3AM it's supposed to be 34.

The middle class is going to be specifically impressed by ICE's presence after waiting 4 hours to get through TSA with their 5 year old.

Went to see the Wiz again and got the socks this time because I already have the stuffed lion and they didn't have a new plushie

Nice to see my favorite tournament team, "Kentucky's Opponent", leading at halftime.

Would you say that today was Wisconsin's Low Point?

Huge Siena fan here, as of like 25 minutes ago

TFW you've spent 3 hours of company time trying, and failing to fix a problem and then you figure out it's costing them 4¢ a month.

meta being called meta is so incredible. it’d be like if microsoft was called zune or nasa was called challenger