zips are so good, they really killed it with that invention

as an empath, i can’t enjoy a concert when i can see that a performer’s in-ear monitors aren’t working

this starbucks in lebanon is doing such a great job apart from the toilet

not only am i a guy who likes to watch football, but i'm also a dad. so right off the jump i'm already one of the most fascinating people you've ever heard of. and that's before you find out that i live in brooklyn and post on bluesky a lot

AI will not get a bailout. it is neither essential to the functioning of the wider economy nor a major employer, which is why banks and auto manufacturers were bailed out respectively

you just saw a shooting star? alec baldwin???

for sale: hair loss treatment, still bald

tonights the night we find out if fire works

Everyone is hope scrolling now

this is masterful

if he was born in norway he’d be called Harrison Fjord. horrible to think about

ethical non-monogamy? oh that’s cool. me and my wife practice something called “unethical monogamy” where we commit crimes together

my verdict on the lily allen album: quite good

messaging everyone listing an engagement ring on facebook marketplace to find out what went wrong

Carly Rae Chefsen be like: Fantasy, dream about me And all that we could do with this emulsion

sometimes i think of a tweet then realise there’s only one person who might find it funny so send it to them directly instead

its only just registering to me that the louvre isnt just the triangle thing, its all the other buildings as well

sometimes my airpods dont connect and then i’ll open the bluetooth menu and they suddenly connect and i feel like ive walked in on someone slacking off

sunglasses and big coat weather

im what they call a “triple threat”. i can sing threateningly, i can dance threateningly, i can act threateningly.

brother they could never put a hole in our brozone layer 💙

UNBIASED ANSWERS ONLY which branch of christianity is winning at being pious and unsinful so far?

this guy’s full name was Clippit. were we all aware of this? i wasnt

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

my first day as Head Of Security at the louvre 😁 have spent all day with my new team at a Heist Prevention Training away day but cant wait to get stuck in tomorrow 💪🖼️🔒👮‍♀️

i am taking a trip to the yangtze river to see the famous Three Gorgeous Dames

what was the point of having a mildly successful twitter account for 5 years if it doesnt get me an invite to the bruce springsteen movie premiere

nothing worse than when a task takes me away from sending and receiving emails, but what a thrill to be able to share my progress on said task via email

why were they calling the yeti the “abominable snowman”? he hadnt even done anything

what was mr bean wearing a suit for

i also had a visionary ouvre on the website twitter dot com and i have never been rewarded for it. ive been punished for it in fact

“Beware of Geeks bearing Grifts” - a really good headline i thought of. free to a good home @theverge.com? @gizmodo.com ?

ive lived in this country for over 10 years and i am still baffled by some of the people rolled out on tv as “celebrities”. who are these people

For sale: podcasting equipment, barely used

just seen a spider fall off its own web. perfect sunshine, no wind. must be humiliated if it survived

liverpool under slot, crap. ive always said.

this hit so unbelievably hard and they really just let it play for a while

the switch from twitter to bluesky has robbed me of one of lifes great joys: hearing loads about taylor swift even though ive expressed no interest in it

Genuinely would love to hear any of these people unpack exactly what they mean by this inference that protesting crimes against humanity is 'disrespectful to the grief of British Jews'

hey man i would like to exclude you from my taste profile if that’s ok

i would say the last month or two has seen a really rapid vibe shift among tech types on the question of whether ai is a bubble

mad that Alphonse Areola is a real person and not like a pepe le pew side character or something

why have you photographed it like that

the concept of a non stick pan is so stupid. how would you even make a pan out of sticks

we are gonna experience the biggest financial crash of all time

this tweet got 0 likes but i still think about it sometimes and laugh. i am my own biggest fan

yeah you could say im a bit hard dont believe check my brit card

They will be speaking of little else in the Big Apple this morning