it’s within three hours of the time my roommate feeds her cats and she’s not home right now so naturally the orange one is wailing like he’s already dying of starvation

you know it’s mildly funny to me that the term “surf the net” basically died out before we were all the way out of the dialup era but the term is fossilized in the name of the SURFboard line of cable modems

what would be the most hilariously incongruous song to get the “slow, somber, minor-key cover with breathy female vocalist made specifically for a movie trailer” treatment?

papa john's pan pizza is pretty decent but I can't tell how it's supposed to be pansexual

current status: trying to figure out if there’s a meaningful difference between sincerely liking something that is bad *because* it’s bad (or because of the qualities that make it bad, in a sort of “greater than the sum of its parts” way) and ironically liking that same thing, and if one is better

me: hm, I don't see a menu entry in the GIMP to create a mask from a selection. guess I'll google it. me: [typing] gimp... mask... from... selec-- me: wait a minute me: [ctrl+a, delete, typing] gnu... image... manipulation... program... mask... from... selection

achievement unlocked: got blocked by a dipshit who (charitably) believes that the onion's satire is a psyop to depress democratic voter engagement and turnout, or (uncharitably) doesn't understand the difference between satire and fake news

has anyone who took whatever class they teach you how to care for a kid in since like 1970 been given a bag of flour? when I was in high school around the turn of the millennium, they gave those kids dolls that cried and simulated needing food or changing, and tracked how responsive the “parent” was

*wednesday addams voice* are they made from real selena gomez

because the USB-C connector supports multiple protocols besides simply USB (like displayport, thunderbolt, etc.), I conclude that the "C" in "USB-C" stands for "cloaca"

*Aqualung riff*

dieses lied kickt heutzutage ganz anders (schlimmer)

hot take: alt text on images (especially screenshots of text) is good but unless you are a brand or a public figure or someone who has, or is actively trying to cultivate, a capital-A Audience, you should never feel *obligated* to add it

the world is on fire but I managed to make myself clean up my bedroom enough that I don’t have to take comically large steps over piles of junk to get from the door to the bed anymore, so I got that goin’ for me, which is nice

I irrationally, vehemently despise the word “meeple”

I’m bringing back interrupts and mana burn, you can thank me later

repost if you’re older than this calendar that’s been barely hanging on in grandma’s house since september 1996

if @legaleagle.tv doesn't already have a german-speaking, hedgehog-themed counterpart who calls himself "LegalIgel", he totally should

seeing that thing about Trump and Bari Weiss (you’ve probably seen it too) makes me think about all the reports of Trump’s stench lately and as much as I want to believe, I have to think we’d have seen someone on live TV by now catching a whiff of it and not being able to keep from making a face

I just learned that hootie and the blowfish put out a new album in 2019. imagine falling into a coma in 1994 when cracked rear view came out, waking up 25 years later trying to figure out how long it’s been, and someone tells you hootie and the blowfish has a new album. you’d think it was still 1994

honestly it's hard for me to get upset about this when they would have just taken it by force anyway and probably worsened the experience for everyone else by hammering it with scrapers in the process

someday when we’re well clear of the present moment in United States politics, I really hope that Schumer and Jeffries—for that matter, really any Democrat who thinks that ICE can be redeemed—are remembered as fondly as Vidkun Quisling

🎶 from the back to the middle and around again 🎶 I’m gonna be there till the end

NO DRAB GAB TUESDAY

due to recent developments, this may be changing from "despite everything, it's still wancil" (resigned affect) to "despite everything, it's still wancil" (positive affect)

every day we wake up wanting no worries be happy, and every day we get no happy be worries

No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive.

it’s alternate 2026 and President Harris’s administration is “following the law” with regard to trans people: gender-affirming care for minors and trans participation in sports remain illegal in half the country; some red states are still making noise about banning gender-affirming care for adults

The post-apocalypse trogoldyte survivors of ARC Raiders have a fast, efficient public transit system that has a train at Robot Hell Station every five minutes meanwhile I have to drive a car.

I’m 42 and I also have an iron deficiency tyvm

me any time I try positive self-talk

not trying to call anybody out but some people really need to remember that I don't know who needs to hear this

occasionally I am reminded that the corporate headquarters for Denny's is (a) in Spartanburg, South Carolina, and (b) an enormous brutalist concrete slab that if not for the Denny's logo would probably not look out of place in any Soviet-era Eastern European capital

Yotta flop deez nuts

this sandwich would fix me

we reproduce asexually, releasing clouds of spores at certain points in our lifecycles, like some species of fungi

to paraphrase those old Genesis ads, Amiga does what PC DOSn’t

I want what they had

"you're a man" ad hominem "you were born a boy" sunk cost fallacy "you're amab" false dichotomy "you have xy chromosomes" false equivalence "trans people are mentally ill" non sequitur "changing your sex isn't possible" skill issue

it’s even worse than that, she looks like a *remastered* Oblivion NPC

ever notice how the more words someone uses to say “no offense”, the more offensive they’re about to be?

honestly not super fond of the fact that monitors have external power supplies these days

two of the stupid hills I'll die on are that (1) "genesis" is an objectively better name than "mega drive"; and (2) if you're talking about either of nintendo's entertainment systems, they're the "NES" or "Nintendo", or "Super NES" or "Super Nintendo", not "ness" or "sness" (or even worse, "snezz")

getting kicked out of my GRS consult for asking if they can give me a Lament Configuration down there to spite this guy

we’re all stars now//in the dough show

I always feel so conflicted about my own nostalgia for the old internet because, like, I came of age as the dot-com bubble was about to burst, I’m aware of the phenomenon of youthful naïveté coloring one’s recollections of the past, and I don’t necessarily trust my ability to correct for that

me: [catching a red bream in dave the diver] my brain: 🎶 bass rules everything around me, B.R.E.A.M., get the money, dollar dollar gill y'all

a depressing sign of our increasingly authoritarian society is the US pornhub stats maps slowly becoming more and more filled with North Korea style “Data not available”

eating chipotle and playing dave the diver over my lunch break, it occurs to me that sushi would have been more thematically appropriate