we reproduce asexually, releasing clouds of spores at certain points in our lifecycles, like some species of fungi

to paraphrase those old Genesis ads, Amiga does what PC DOSn’t

I want what they had

"you're a man" ad hominem "you were born a boy" sunk cost fallacy "you're amab" false dichotomy "you have xy chromosomes" false equivalence "trans people are mentally ill" non sequitur "changing your sex isn't possible" skill issue

it’s even worse than that, she looks like a *remastered* Oblivion NPC

ever notice how the more words someone uses to say “no offense”, the more offensive they’re about to be?

honestly not super fond of the fact that monitors have external power supplies these days

two of the stupid hills I'll die on are that (1) "genesis" is an objectively better name than "mega drive"; and (2) if you're talking about either of nintendo's entertainment systems, they're the "NES" or "Nintendo", or "Super NES" or "Super Nintendo", not "ness" or "sness" (or even worse, "snezz")

getting kicked out of my GRS consult for asking if they can give me a Lament Configuration down there to spite this guy

we’re all stars now//in the dough show

every day we wake up wanting no worries be happy, and every day we get no happy be worries

I always feel so conflicted about my own nostalgia for the old internet because, like, I came of age as the dot-com bubble was about to burst, I’m aware of the phenomenon of youthful naïveté coloring one’s recollections of the past, and I don’t necessarily trust my ability to correct for that

me: [catching a red bream in dave the diver] my brain: 🎶 bass rules everything around me, B.R.E.A.M., get the money, dollar dollar gill y'all

a depressing sign of our increasingly authoritarian society is the US pornhub stats maps slowly becoming more and more filled with North Korea style “Data not available”

eating chipotle and playing dave the diver over my lunch break, it occurs to me that sushi would have been more thematically appropriate

stuck in my head this morning:

it amuses me that Mariah Carey gets so intensely memed on for recording a Christmas song that isn’t a novelty song or a cover of a traditional hymn or 1940s/50s standard, especially given how much discourse I’ve seen over the years about why virtually all Christmas music seems to be frozen in amber

What idiot called it transitioning when transcending was right there?

roll that hideous bean footage

me: [minding my own business] a single molecule of saliva: [touches my epiglottis when I unconsciously swallow or something] my body: OH FUCK THIS IS IT THIS IS THE END WE'RE DROWNING, SUSPENDING ALL OTHER RESPIRATORY FUNCTION TO TRY TO HACK UP THESE LITERAL GALLONS OF WATER WE SUDDENLY ASPIRATED

superstitiously referring to Atlassian as "the Australian company" like actors refer to Macbeth as "the Scottish play"

Quark's nephew realizes he's actually Quark's niece, call that egg Nog

hiccups are when you're taking damage over time but your resistances reduce the damage to 0

me, reading this: ok this is obviously glazing RFK Jr. but for some reason I am desperate to give the benefit of the doubt. how old is he now, maybe this was *kind of* true when he was 71, if you dial back the fashy hyperbole? me, after a brief trip to wikipedia: are you fucking kidding me

reading an article that mentions Microsoft and refers to them as "the Windows maker" nearly every time after the initial paragraph and I'm like, dude, were you really that desperate to pad out your word count

the tilt mechanism on my desk chair failed months ago and I finally convinced myself that buying a new one was a worthy expenditure, and I can't wait to have a chair that will let me return to my usual levels of postural badness instead of making it even worse

Make a melodeath/nu metal playlist put on shuffle Call that KoRn on the CoB

is this what the rock was cooking?

to paraphrase mel brooks, tragedy is when I cut my finger; comedy is when megyn kelly is fed into a wood chipper for justifying the sexual abuse of minors

despite everything, it's still wancil (that phrase pops into my head every time I see one of his posts. I have to spread the curse)

is this anything

Fellas, is it idealistic to log off?

just had a horrific vision of a slop future in which music with lyrics that contains any word your average social media user is afraid to use because of The Algorithm is considered “explicit”, and clean versions of songs have AI-rewritten algospeak-euphemism lyrics sung by AI-generated vocalists

this has been lodged in my head for the past 24 hours. I blame @patrickwyman.bsky.social

I think the worst thing about the late-’80s/early-’90s wave of “young versions of golden-age cartoon characters” cartoons is the fact that they burdened millennials with the knowledge that characters like droopy and goofy have, canonically, fucked

every time I clean my glasses and put them back on afterwards I'm always like "holy shit I can see again, how do I keep letting them get this bad" and then I just let them get that bad again

I have no idea who these characters are or what they're from, and I don't particularly care, but this cracks me up every time I see it

been replaying control and not long after I unlocked the levitation power I realized that if I had that power IRL it is almost certainly how I would die, because it would only take *one* time forgetting to activate the power right before I impacted the ground at terminal velocity

filled out a PTO request at work to use up the rest of my PTO for the year and wondered why nearly every interaction with the form felt like it required a network roundtrip. so I opened dev tools and it turns out every nearly interaction with the form DID require a roundtrip

The most terrifying sentence in the English language: "I'm from the government, and I'm here to poop on you from my king plane full of diarrhea."

dammit now I gotta close a tab every time I open a new one. or close 351 of them and then do the same thing

they should sell these during the day too they’re really good

🫡🫡🫡

my problematic political opinion is that most of the people who recite wilhoit's law in conversation or on social media are doing so because saying "to wit" makes them feel smart

widdershins? I hardly know 'ershins!

NO DRAB GAB TUESDAY

Not much, john up with you?

is it stolen nerd valor to name my ships in No Man's Sky after ships from the Culture novels even though I've never read them