Me watching Tron (1982) for the first time as a kid: "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen" Me watching Tron (1982) for the 1000th time as an adult: "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen"

An alternate universe where everything is the same except the popular restaurant/arcade is called "phil & buster's" and to talk a lot in politics is called a daveandbuster

Can't stop thinking about the woman I met on the @mta.info who had apparently never heard of the mets. Or baseball. Or sports as a whole except for tennis.

Listing one of my enemies as a professional reference on my resume so prospective employers get the whole story.

Turns out putting on a pair of headphones eliminates my executive dysfunction entirely. Only problem is that my executive dysfunction knows this, and fights tooth and nail to keep the headphones off at all times.

do you guys remember whenever we wanted to Go On The Computer we had to make it scream and writhe in agony for a few minutes first

Currently writing a C compiler that will throw an error if the vibes are off

All my friends think I'm brilliant with fixing tablets and phones but all I do is restart them

After 5 years on the Apple cart, I'm finally back on Android. It's good to be back in the driver's seat.

ME: Did you catch the Eagles game last night? MY COWORKER, PROMETHEUS:

I scored 18/21 on e-mail.wtf and all I got was this lousy text to share on social media.

My one and only goal at the record store is to make sure the cashier thinks my music taste is cool. So far I think I am failing.

man made horrors beyond YOUR comprehension. I know what they are

I exclusively charge my phone via wireless charging just in case I should accidentally run into BBC Sherlock.

My parents used to yell at me when I’d take showers during thunderstorms because of the laws against public nudity.

apparently the answer to "what happens when the president dies" is "not much how about you"

I thought I might get back on dating apps and put myself out there this fall, but unfortunately I have just installed Arch Linux

guys did it finally happen

After years of work, I've compiled a master document of notes and code examples for learning #Python 3. This is best used as a guide and not a direct learning resource, but it will go a long way to teaching the basics of the language even with no prior coding knowledge. archive.org/details/pyth...

That's it, documentation complete. No additions or edits are allowed beyond this point.

i watched this last night and absolutely loved it, i am still feeling the joy from laughing so much youtu.be/qJpMNy04ldU

How do I add “Once told a joke so funny it got six reactions in the work teams chat” to my résumé

what do you mean wii sports resort is 16 years old. HEY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WII SPORTS RESORT IS 16 YEARS OLD

One day, perhaps far in the future, someone is going to create a new “roll for ___” series called “Roll For Story” where a group of friends get together and decide the rolls based on individual characters. There will only ever be 1 episode due to scheduling conflicts.

Look I know it sucks right now but we’re only 40 days away from fall. I am wearing a sweater as we speak. I don’t care that it’s 98° outside.

Best of luck to all of the devs participating in the @gamemakerstoolkit.com Game Jam! Looking forward to seeing the cool stuff everyone makes.

Despite my username, I'm a real human person. Just thought I should get that out there before I get banned like I did on Twitter.