Don Jr. must have been relieved to find out he wasn’t the only one in the family who does blow.

Trump called Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton “crooked” for two VERY different reasons.

Karoline Leavitt answers questions about the Epstein emails.

In case you missed all the Election Day fun. Congrats @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social

Trump: Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Andrew Cuomo now knows what it’s like to get spanked when you didn’t want it.

Breaking News! Andrew Cuomo Gets Penis Stuck In Ballot Box Read the whole, 100% real @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social article here: thehardtimes.net/breaking/and...

George W. Bush Gives A Heartfelt Eulogy for Dick Cheney:

If there was only a place where you could look up the definition of “word”…🤔

If you think the White House demolition is bad, just wait until you see what Trump’s doing to the Lincoln Bedroom.

I need some Tylenol.

I can’t wait to watch! - Trump

Wow! The last time Ted Cruz and I agreed on something was when he and I both liked the same tweet.

Wait you guys could afford Disney+?

Matt Damon is awfully quiet about this Jimmy Kimmel stuff. I wonder why?

This looks less like Trump and more like a Melania double in a fat suit.

Where is Trump? Have you looked on the Epstein list yet?

“HUGE NEWS! HOLLYWOOD’S SEXIEST CHRIS (PRATT) (NO HOMO!) WILL NOW BE THE NEW VOICE OF OUR MAHA LEADER BOBBY KENNEDY! BOBBY IS A GREAT MAN BUT AWFUL VOICE! TO MAKE AMERICA HEALTHY AGAIN YOU HAVE TO SOUND HEALTHY! THAT’S WHY WE GOT CHRIS (NO LONGER FAT) PRATT TO GIVE BOB THE VOICE HE DESERVES!"

They fired the CDC Director, so they could afford Star Lord. Check out my entire @hard-drive.net article to learn more.

The Trump/Kennedy Center would be a fitting name honoring our two presidents with brain damage.

“If you release the Epstein files, I’ll jump!”

Trump’s Presidential Fitness Test will include sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups, and a run to McDonald’s.

The “E” stands for Epstein, doesn’t it?

Hulk Hogan passed away leaving behind a wife, daughter, son and thousands of BROTHERS.

Trump seems to be having trouble making Epstein “go away” this second time around.

That’s a weird way of spelling Jeffrey Epstein

New slogan for the Trump Administration just dropped

I guess I only have 10 months left to fulfill my dream of writing for the Late Show…seems doable.

I have one Coldplay ticket my wife is making me sell. DM me if interested!

If you hate Caillou and Trump, then you’re gonna love this new @hard-drive.net article. Check it out!

First @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social article is up! 🤘🤘🤘

This piece I wrote for @hard-drive.net is satire. But you can never really tell anymore, can you?

Fans Outraged New Shrek Design Looks Nothing Like Sonic hard-drive.net/hd/video-gam...

What the hell happened to Shrek? We investigate in my latest @hard-drive.net piece. hard-drive.net/hd/video-gam...

Inside Delta Flight 4819

I did Nazi that coming.

Seeing Captain America this weekend? Be warned. Nobody can escape eggflation.

Luka Doncic is looking great for the Lakers.

Look at what the Eagles did to Mahomes.

Term limits? Nah.

The released JFK files really shot a hole in my conspiracy theory.

Genius, billionaire, playboy, Nazi.

11AM: How bad could the new administration be? 4PM: And Elon did that how many times?

Go Go Gadget Pepper Spray

Nothing will stop MAGA from getting up close to the inauguration.

Bathroom breaks were scary during the TikTok ban.

New year, new bae-by? Thanks @hard-drive.net for letting me report on this breaking news.

I wrote this, so I should get the PS5. Not some dumb kid who can’t even write.

Tasty new @hard-drive.net article just dropped!

Ranking How Good These Cartoon Dogs Would Taste hard-drive.net/hd/politics/...