Once I was in Frankfurt and I bought two gross former sausages.

This is too much.

Spotted this in a Finchley Road charity shop window. What little girl didn't fantasise about being a WWII evacuee?

I hope that's supposed to be a pipe.

Found this from a few years ago. WHY DIDN'T THE BLOKE ON THE TILL STOP ME?

This is a highly inappropriate name for a shop, IMHO. Sent to me by Andy Martin who spotted it in Uruguay.

Done! (you certainly have been)

"Well, it goes against everything I stand for, but if you're sure."

The best thing about regional airport business hotels is the views.

Telling like it is

"Okay, the menu is sorted but we still need a name." (Sent to me by Daniel Powell!)

The #JohnBishop film they're too scared to make.

Hard truths.

Do you know what The Trolleymen are? Would you like to learn about my new action show NCP: Chinatown? It’s here for you! podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Jesus Christ, Ken, it's not even 7pm, and you're a mess!

Friend of mine once asked for "Boiled egg and soldiers" in a cafe and they didn't know what he meant. He explained that it was a boiled egg and toast and he got this.

Thinking back to the beautiful doll I found in a charity shop in New Zealand. How I wish I could have loved and cherished you.

Today, Producer Joe revealed he'd been on a course to encourage us to "not just colour in between the lines". So I asked him if he would like me to cross those lines. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Today's examination of life in 2026 includes a new feature to reassure you that absolutely everything is fine. Also: Melania the Movie, and Where Do You Keep Your Birthday Candles? podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

You could try this for the first time, or you could just tell yourself you already have enough joy in your life and things will never improve. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Listen to this while tidying up, fixing a boat or mending a welly. It takes roughly that amount of time. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

This week's show involves a terrible situation that happened at a wedding... podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Nice bins, but far too tall

Life-saving idea! Pass it on!

once a year I watch this www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5I...

Very annoying when you just miss out on free shipping

I can’t help but wonder what other names were on the shortlist.

Q: What’s brass and sounds like Tom Jones? 🤔 A: Trombones. 😂🎶

Maybe my favourite episode in ages - thanks to listener Ray Boyle and his incredible spooky tale... podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

When they asked me if I wanted to go sea kayaking, I thought they meant did I want to "go see kayaking", which would have been much more boring. Thanks for a fun day Team Halfords! #SummerofYes #ad #Halfords #Yes

Hard to believe it’s 20 years this summer since Yes Man was published. When they realised, my old pals at Halfords offered me a whole day of Yeses to celebrate... and when I say "old pals", I mean I literally used to dress as a member of staff when I was five. #SummerofYes #ad #Halfords #Yes

A member of the radio show team cancelled at the last minute, so I threw the whole show out. Which meant I ended up talking about plums for one whole hour. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

It’s all very unusual, isn’t it?

Anyone know what brand this bag is?

Making America grate again

With a TikTok ban looming, I’m putting it out there that I will, for a small fee, send you a 19 second video of me doing a rehearsed dance to a song you’ve never heard of.

Stood behind a MASSIVE Star Wars fan today

In today's podcast, my plumber texts me about ghosts. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Tailoring/seamstress people, I have a question. I've got a peacoat/reefer jacket and I really wish it had a pocket on the inside left. It's got a very shallow diagonal pocket inside right but that's not deep enough to put a phone or anything in safely. Is 'adding a pocket' a faff/pricey job?

great pleasure to have a few beers with this guy a few years back and get inside goss on the Take That days etc.

Every time I get a Meal Deal, when they ring the price up I want to say ‘well, I think we’ve got ourselves a deal!’ and offer a handshake. I’ve not tried it, in my heart I know it wouldn’t go down well.

Wishing you all the very best for the rest of ‘24!

Forgot all about this!

‘Nugget’ is such a nice name for a small yellow car.

I accidentally became a tabloid story this week. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/d...

Started reading this, from 1963. Feels a little out of date already.

Watch out for the “I wish to politely disagree” AI bots, looking to farm engagement. A recent addition to #bluesky. My advice: block on sight.

I feel like "Open Sundays and Mondays" would have worked

Pubs and books - a modern and wholesome combo.

There are some great deals out there today if you look